Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I wish I had a river...

I wish I had a river
That I could skate away on

I think I'm doing this Christmas thing all wrong. I mean, it's supposed to be fun, right? In the movies, folks are practically skipping down the sidewalks as they do their shopping. The first tree they see is the perfect size and shape for their house. Gifts come pre-wrapped. Strangers greet each other with warm holiday wishes. And around every corner there is a jolly Santa, a cup of eggnog, and one more chestnut being roasted.

So why do I feel overwhelmed and exhausted?!?!? Shopping has turned into a series of stores that don't have what I want. Every checkout line is 2.6 miles long. Oh, and here's a tip, get your checkbook out before the cashier is standing there staring at you. Our tree sits half decorated while the kids finish projects and study for tests. And the daily debate over whether we should cook or just suck it up and eat take-out one more time is being won almost daily by the take-out option.

I know, my mother-in-laws recent cancer diagnosis is weighing heavily on us. Every little thing seems like a tremendous burden. Life feels, as my wife describes it, like running underwater. Requiring lots of energy just to slowly move a few steps.

I assume we'll get it all done and have a nice little Christmas. And grandma is all finished with her initial round of chemo and feeling pretty darn good, all things considered. And the kids are patient and understanding. Well, at least understanding. But it's been a very hard week. And it's only half over.

(Pardon the depressing tone. I tend to be more upbeat but I just needed to vent and whine a bit.)

4 comments:

Chelle said...

Vent and whine alla you want...it's YOUR blog! I'm sorry that it's been a difficult and exhausting week. It has been ehre as well...and I am sooo trying not oto be stressed....and that is so hard.

Just keep hanging in there :) Christmas will be here before you know it and then all this stress and stuff will all but be forgotten!!

Chin up....and vent away....we've all been there (or are there...lol) ((((hugs)))))

radioactive girl said...

I'm sorry things are hard right now. I have faith that it will get better soon. Try to relax and have some fun. I was totally stressed out until I remembered that Christmas is supposed to be fun. Then I took a break and felt much better. Everything doesn't need to be perfect, in fact it probably won't be and that is ok. As long as your family is together, it will be wonderful.

Jazz said...

You're free to vent, it's your blog. For the record, you seem to be doing ok with the Christmas thing under the cirucmstances. Christmas almost always feels that way to me, and there are no health issues around me. You're doing fine Em.

I, on the other hand seem incapable of typing out the word verification. How hard can it be, right? *sigh*

cyndy said...

Hey Em
having stress at Christmas is probably much more normal than you and I would like to imagine. I get very depressed more than stressed...if that makes any sense. And yes, it is YOUR blog, and you can vent all you wish!