How Did You Do Christmas?

So my last post was a list of some of the ways we do Christmas. And I have to say, for one more year, all that stuff pretty much held true. I had plenty of egg nog. I had my favorite things to eat. I heard all my favorite songs. I ate my favorite foods. And I definitely got the gift I most wanted!

The one thing that turned out to be different? My wife wasn't so hard to buy for this year! And I'll admit, some of that was because she gave me some great ideas on her "wish list". And we even did some shopping together where she purchased some things and I put them under the tree. But I also came up with a fair number of surprises for her - all of which were greatly appreciated.

And it has been a holiday season filled with laughter. Having all three kids in the house, hanging out together, playing games, watching lots of movies - we've just had a lot of fun together. That's not to say three siblings in the house don't bicker a bit. God help me, they do. But it hasn't been too bad. And we've had a lot of fun with them.

It has also been a most relaxing time. This is a year where we've not visited nor been visited by any family. They are all in very different parts of the country this year. So our holiday has been quite, restful, peaceful. No rushing about making sure everything is clean. No preparing extra-special meals for "company". No worries about sleeping in late, going to bed early, taking afternoon naps, or any other aspect of scheduling. So that has been very nice.

All in all, a very good holiday.

And tomorrow evening, just our family and Son1's new girlfriend to ring in the new year. We've got our favorite New Year's Eve foods planned. We'll play some games. Watch a movie. And kiss when the clock strikes midnight.

Here's hoping your holiday and your new year are the best ever!

How do YOU do Christmas?

My blog friend Mrs. Chili over at The Blue Door posted a meme on Monday about the holidays. And as I read her responses, I couldn't help but reflect on traditions around the holidays. We all have so many. And so many of us have the SAME traditions. And yet, we each tweak them just a bit to fit our own personal likes and the needs of our families. Comparing and contrasting seemed like fun. So you can check our her thoughts on the holidays and then see what I had to say on the same topics...

1. Real tree or Artificial?  Believe it or not, we have one of each. The real tree is in the family room and covered with all our favorite old ornaments and kid crafts, etc. And all our colored lights. And that is the tree the presents go underneath. But some years we also put up an artificial tree in the living room with white lights and more formal ornaments. This year...just the real one.
2. Do you like decorating the tree? Parts of it. I always have to put the tree in the stand and get the lights on ahead of time. I don’t love that part. But the ornaments are all done with the whole family and that part is fun.
3. When do you put up the tree? It varies...usually around the second weekend of December. This year, I put the tree in the stand and put on the lights tonight. We'll all put on the ornaments tomorrow evening.
4. When do you take the tree down?  Usually about a week after New Year’s.
5. Do you like eggnog? Oh I do! Most of the folks in my family do not, so when we buy it, I know I’m only sharing with Son1, so that means a lot for me.
6. Ever broken a present right after opening it? I don’t think so.
7 . Hardest person to buy for? My wife. And it is my fault. I put too much pressure on myself to get the perfect gift every time.
8. Easiest person to buy for? Our daughter. She always provides us with a color-coded list with appropriate hyperlinks to web sites, reviews, etc.
9. Do you have a nativity scene? We do.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail. But we have been narrowing our list of who gets them every year. What a chore to do that whole process.
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Underwear. From my mom. And not when I was a kid.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? It’s A Wonderful Life. I know...how predictable.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? As soon as possible after Black Friday is over and those folks go home.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Honestly, not that I can remember.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Thing. Singular. Then I would have to pick my wife’s rouladen. We have that for our Christmas dinner every year. I love it.
16. Have you ever actually eaten fruit cake? Sure. Often as a kid. Not so often as an adult. See, I really do learn as I grow!
17. Favorite Christmas song? Again with the singular! I’m pretty sure I can’t narrow it down to one song so I won’t even try. I’ll just say that I love Christmas music. I love the traditional songs such as Oh Holy Night and White Christmas. Plus I love some of the new stuff by The Roaches, Sara McLaughlin, and others. And I’m warning you, I love to sing along...which isn’t always a pretty thing.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? We’ve been at home for the holidays for a long time now.
19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?  Absolutely.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel on the real tree. When we use the artificial tree, a big red bow.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Both. It works like this. When our kids were very young (in fact, when there was only “kid” without the “s”) we started letting them open one small give on Christmas Eve. We were trying to take the edge off cause he/they would be so excited about the whole thing we were afraid they were going to explode. So one gift the night before.....that we selected cause we wanted to make sure it was a small one....and then all the rest Christmas morning. That tradition is still continued today. And even though two of them are in their 20’s, they would get quite pouty if there was no Christmas Eve gift opening.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?  People who just like to complain about things related to the holidays. Yes, there is more traffic and stores are busy. Relax. We’ll all get home for Christmas.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Oh that’s a tough one. If you were there as we decorated the tree, you would think about half of them are my favorites. I grab one to hang up and suddenly start reminiscing about when we bought it or what I remember about it. But if I have to choose a theme or color...I would have to say I love our more crafty/country style ornaments. The colored balls are fun...but I like the wooden ornaments best.
24. Favorite Christmas dinner? That rouladen I mentioned earlier with mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, a good veggie. And a nice piece of pie for dessert.
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Easy question! I’m am totally wanting to upgrade to an iPhone.

I'm Troubled By Halloween - Part 2

So just in case you didn't get enough of my ramblings in my post yesterday, let's revisit my troubles with Halloween. This time, I want to go to the other end of the spectrum. We talked enough about the events that trouble me due to their violence, their intensity, and their overt attempts at scaring people into going to church.

Now we go way over to the most family friendly of the Halloween activities....the Trunk or Treat. Again, this is an event most often sponsored by a church group, but in some cases, other community organizations have promoted such an activity. The focus of the activity, depending on who you listen to, is to "provide a safe family environment for trick or treaters" or to be an "excellent outreach event" for a church.

There is nothing scary about a Trunk or Treat. In fact, many of them even have costume guidelines to make sure that all the kids come dressed as a super hero or a fairy but not Dracula or a ghost. And that seems to be one key part of this...to make a Halloween event that is not frightening.

I've got no problem with that. Little kids often need to avoid things that may seem frightening.

But this isn't really about the costume. I'm convinced, this is about sanitizing an event that seems a bit too non-Christian while segregating the church folks from the rest of their community. I mean, I know some people in the US live in neighborhoods that are just not safe. No one would go out and walk around at night. I get that. But I wonder if those are the places where Trunk or Treats are really taking place? Or does this mostly happen in nice middle and upper-middle class neighborhoods where the kids could safely trick or treat on well-lit sidewalks and among welcoming homes?

I also have no problem with a church or any other organization wanting to host their own activities as a form of building their own community. Certainly many groups have fall festivals, apple picking, trips to corn mazes, etc. Those are all excellent group activities.

But what happens when it becomes a way to exclude participation in their home neighborhood?

Many Trunk or Treaters aren't doing this as an extra fun event for their kids...they are doing as the ONLY event for their kids. They gather in a parking lot, pass out candy just to the kids who are members of their group, and then go home and keep the lights out on Halloween night....turning away all the other children in their community.

Is that really the kind of neighborhood we want? One where, in the guise of making Halloween safe, some of our most concerned parents actually turn away from their neighbors? If we want our sidewalks and neighborhoods to be safe on Halloween, shouldn't those concerned parents be the most visible presence walking about on that evening? Isn't that how we build a community and neighborhood...by participating, by being active, by actually showing up? I'm just not sure how we help encourage a safe Halloween if people keep their kids home on that night and become unwelcoming to other kids.

We are fortunate to live in a large neighborhood with plenty of sidewalks, lots of street lights, and homes that will have their porch lights on. Some folks will just pass out the candy while others will enjoy decorating with jack-o-lanterns, a scarecrow or two, the occasional scary sound effects tape, and even one neighbor who annually erects an entire graveyard in his front yard, complete with friends who dress up and rise from the coffins to greet kids. And yes, they are very kid-friendly with lookouts to alert them so the scary-fun stuff happens with older kids (and the adults who enjoy dropping by!) while the non-scary-fun stuff happens with younger kids.

Our sidewalks will be crowded. People will drive in from surrounding areas where walking is quite as safe. Our porch light will be on. And we have plenty of 3 Musketeers, Pixie Stix, M&M's and Kit Kat bars for everyone. So feel free to drop by. We love seeing everyone in their costumes...as well as those teenagers who drop by at the end of the night looking just a bit embarrassed by still hoping for a Reese's and enjoying a holiday that they don't want to ever outgrow.

We'll keep the light on for you.

I'm Troubled By Halloween - Part 1

Let me set the record straight right up front. I love Halloween. I had fun as a kid, dressing in my costume and racing through the neighborhood gathering up the goodies. I had fun as a teenager going to Halloween parties. And I've had the most fun on Halloween as I walked through our neighborhood with our kids...holding their hand in the dark and then just holding the flashlight when they were too old to want to hold hands. I've prompted them to ring the bell and say "trick or treat". And of course, I prompted them to say "thank you" once the loot had been delivered. I've even participated in some Samhain rituals in pagan celebration of the season. So as you can see, I've got no intrinsic problem with the holiday.

But I am troubled by how it has been co-opted by groups for their own purposes. In the 90's we were treated to Hell Houses - church sponsored horror shows designed the scare the crap out of people with their interpretation of all the evils in the world such as abortion and drinking. Talk about taking the fun out of a haunted house...these folks knew just how to suck all the joy out of a holiday and turn it into a sledgehammer-to-the-head approach to winning people over to their view of Christianity.

Eventually, Hell Houses became a bit too gruesome and controversial so a newer, milder version of Hell Houses hit the scene. These new guided tours are known as Judgement House, a different dramatic presentation about the "truth of people's choices". In fact, Judgement House (the two "e's" are their idea, not mine) has been around since the early 80's, but seemed to really grow in popularity in the early part of this decade as Hell Houses faded from popularity.

Don't get me wrong. I've got nothing against religious groups sharing their beliefs and values. But the Hell House movement was extreme. However, it was not the most extreme horror show on this little tour.

Oh no, that honor goes to the Tribulation Trail. Located in the woods of southern Georgia, the Tribulation Trail is a 90-minute walk through the woods sponsored by the Mount Vernon Baptist Church. It bills itself as a "walk through drama portraying the end of times". What it really is, as reported by one participant, is an "intensely violent rendition of standard end-times scenarios". Six of the twelve scenes involve executions including a teenager watching his young sister beaten to death. Participants are "guided" from scene to scene by men and teenage boys carrying automatic rifles. Yet, the official website for the Tribulation Trail says it is fine for kids 10 years of age and older. And perhaps the most frightening thing of all...25,000 people a year buy tickets and take the walk and this year it is sold out.

So someone explain this to me. When so many religious groups are wanting to avoid Halloween because it isn't safe or "kid friendly"...costumes are too scary...there is too much "evil" associated with it...etc...etc...how is it that religious groups are also bringing us some of the most revolting moments of Halloween horror? Can these types of events really convert people? Or is it merely a faith-promoting tool for the believers?

I understand their purpose. I'm just very confused by their tactics. Confused and appalled. I'm very clear that these activities do not represent my values. And I'm clear that I don't believe this is what Halloween is all about...whether you believe in the spirituality of Samhain, Day of the Dead, or just want a good Snickers.

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a super Christmas! We took off to visit my wife's family for a week. A very nice visit. Travel was pretty easy. The visit was fun. We had a nice Christmas, everyone got nice gifts, we ate awesome food for the week, and we came home feeling ready to kick back and relax for the rest of the holiday break.

Our family tradition for New Year's Eve (which may be a tradition for millions of people?) is appetizers. We just put out appetizers around dinner time. And we add more appetizers to the table as the evening goes on. We browse the table and eat all evening. Shrimp. Chips and dip. Little hot dogs in crescent rolls. Pizza bites. Meatballs. Chicken wings. It varies year to year...but always the appetizer spread. So I'm looking forward to some good eating later tonight. And the timing is perfect cause I'm actually pain free from the new braces for the first time! So bring on the food!!

I've got no words of wisdom or resolutions to share. I just hope you and your families and friends have a great New Year's and a fantastic 2009.

Christmas Gift List

Well this is my final post before the big day so I figured I better let you guys know what I want. Or more precisely, what I need. One of the blogs that I really enjoy is Greg's General Store. And Greg (see how the name just fits!) did this fun thing where he Googled what he needed....as in "greg needs" and hit Enter. Well I did the same. And here are the top ten things I need. Or so Google says. And Google is very smart and powerful.

1. Em needs more love. Sure...I'm not gonna argue with that one. Fits right in with the spirit of the season. So bring on the love!
2. Em needs G.E., and right now G.E. needs Em. Wow, I had no idea I needed G.E. But if they need me, their people should get in touch with my people and we just might be able to arrange something for the new year.
3. Em needs more love. Again? Okay, who am I to complain? Let the love flow.
4. Em needs help. Always. With so many things. So anyone who wants to help, drop by the house. I'll put you to work.
5. Em needs enterprising minds with the attitude, products, skills, finances and business ideas that can change the world. You betcha! Give me that and we can probably forget about #4 on the list.
6. Em needs $3351-$7151. Yep. No doubt about that. And let's try to keep it closer to the big number if we can.
7. Em needs the approval of two-thirds of his neighbors. Absolutely. I love approval. It is great to be liked. And two-thirds seems to be a pretty reasonable benchmark.
8. Em needs assistance with obtaining the food and helping with setup and cleanup. Sounds like a party! Let's do it!!
9. Em need more timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. And yep, that is an exact quote from Google. I told you they were smart. They really do know.
10. Em needs him. Hmmmm....wonder what my wife will say about that?

Perhaps you won't be able to give me any of my Needs According to Google. But that's okay. You go have yourself an awesome holiday! And I'm sure when I return from visiting the in-laws and celebrating Christmas, I'll have stories to tell.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

12 Days of Christmas

Up to this point I've spent 1 hour cruising for parking places, 2 hours walking in the mall, 3 hours sitting in traffic, 4 hours shopping online, and 5 golden hours waiting in lines to check out. Will it be possible to survive the rest?

We have almost entirely given up on eating food that we prepared. Taco Bell, Wendy's, Chili's, Burger King...I should be able to earn something for being a frequent eater. I mean, I earn miles for being a frequent flyer....so I should at least get a free piece of bacon on my whopper next time I pass through the drive-in.

We've also almost given up on family time. The holidays really aren't about family anyway...that is just in the movies. We are too busy to really see each other. Unless you count Daughter15's band concert. We saw her. Sorta. From our seat way in the back. Too bad she was sitting behind that tall flute player. Why can't they let the alto sax players sit on the front row just once?

But there is something for which to be grateful. Gift bags. All sizes and shapes. Instant gift preparation...no wrapping, no tape, scissors. Just drop it in and cover it all with a big wad of tissue paper. Every year I silently send good wishes to the person who created that life saver!

That was then...this is now

It is 48 hours since we opened our gifts on Christmas morning. And I'm very aware of how different my Christmas has become.

A few years back, much of Christmas day and the days following would have been filled with assembling toys, helping kids figure out how to use toys, putting stickers and decals on toys, and playing with the kids and their toys.

Now, 48 hours since they opened their gifts, and the only times I've seen the kids have been at meals.

Son20, gleeful over two new games for his Xbox, has barely left his room. I'm sure there is some carpel tunnel stuff going on with that game controller. He has his headphone on, talking with other players around the globe, and barely aware of anything else. Oh sure, he has invited both siblings in to watch and to play. And he even told us how awesome the games were. But other than that, he hasn't been visible.

Son17 got a portable DVD player and some DVD's to watch. Other than checking with us about how to recharge the battery, we haven't talked with him much. For a while he sat in the same room with his headphones on and giggled at The Simpson's Christmas...but eventually we sent him to a different room so we could talk over the laughter.

And Daughter14...got a new iPod. She has shown up for meals...with her ear buds firmly in place. Other than that, it is as if she were abducted by aliens.

And don't get me wrong...our kids got other things. Books, clothes, etc. Things they had requested. But the electronic gadgetry was shining so brightly that those other items got lost in the glow.

Do I miss spending time putting together things? Playing with things? Swearing at the things that don't go together easily? Sure. I miss those days. But it sure feels more relaxing this way. And it even means I get to pay attention to my gifts! That never happened when the kids were young!

A greeting of the season

A Blessed Yule and Happy Solstice to all!

Happy 2007!

I've been reading everyone's resolutions today. A few of the 'usuals'...lose weight, procrastinate less, eat less, etc. We all have those...but they are so hard to live by. But I wish each of you the best!

Teena had a great scheme for combining her blogging and her fitness...that she says she got from someone else...but still, a fun idea.

Some folks have deeply moving resolutions about new directions in their lives. And I hope each comes to life for you.

For me, I don't usually make resolutions. But anyone reading along knows I turned 50 this year. So I am trying to work a little harder on good fitness. For me, that means exercising more, eating more fruit, eating fewer potato chips (my greatest weakness when it comes to snacking), flossing, and going to various doctors and dentists when they say I should and not just when I'm in pain. Not because I'm 50 and getting old. But because I'm 50 and I'm giving myself a tune-up so I'll be ready to kick butt for the next 50 years!

Hope you have a great 2007...and beyond!

Yule

Today is the first full day of winter. As the earth turns on its axis and brings us into winter, pagans recall the celebrations of our ancestors. The bonfires and the Yule log, said to foretell good luck if it burned for twelve hours. Our ancestors also bring us the tradition of decorating our homes with evergreens as a way of reminding us about the life in nature when much of nature around us seems to die away. Even mistletoe, thought to provide healing and protection, was used in decorations.

We embrace the dark and cold of winter. We gather together with our families and friends around the hearth. It is a time of rekindling relationships and connections with each other.

But we also we lean toward tomorrow, and the day after. Always leaning toward the light of the longer days.

Blessed Yule.

The Eve of The Eve

All Hallows Eve, Halloween, Samhain. Pumpkins, candy corn, ghosties, ghoulies, goblins, Tarot cards, spirits and trick or treating. Tomorrow is certainly a fun holiday with a lot of variety in how celebrants from around the world observe the day.

The cold, lean months are coming. We gather around home and hearth as the colder weather encourages us to spend more time indoors. Crops have been gathered and fields stand empty until the spring.

And for those of us who celebrate Samhain, it is a spiritual time of the year. This is the time when it is believed the veils between the worlds is at its thinnest. At this time, we honor our ancestors. Ancient customs included setting food out for dead relatives, communication with the dead was thought to be easy, and divination was a particularly potent ritual. Even today, many pagans find ways to honor the dead and to celebrate what they left to us.

The kids will be out trick or treating. We'll pass out the Snickers Fun Size bars and Skittles. Our jack-o-lantern will take a prominent seat on the porch. And a good time will be had by all.

But we'll also pause for a few moments, light a solitary candle on the altar, and give thanks to those who've gone before.

I hope they hear us.