How Did You Do Christmas?

So my last post was a list of some of the ways we do Christmas. And I have to say, for one more year, all that stuff pretty much held true. I had plenty of egg nog. I had my favorite things to eat. I heard all my favorite songs. I ate my favorite foods. And I definitely got the gift I most wanted!

The one thing that turned out to be different? My wife wasn't so hard to buy for this year! And I'll admit, some of that was because she gave me some great ideas on her "wish list". And we even did some shopping together where she purchased some things and I put them under the tree. But I also came up with a fair number of surprises for her - all of which were greatly appreciated.

And it has been a holiday season filled with laughter. Having all three kids in the house, hanging out together, playing games, watching lots of movies - we've just had a lot of fun together. That's not to say three siblings in the house don't bicker a bit. God help me, they do. But it hasn't been too bad. And we've had a lot of fun with them.

It has also been a most relaxing time. This is a year where we've not visited nor been visited by any family. They are all in very different parts of the country this year. So our holiday has been quite, restful, peaceful. No rushing about making sure everything is clean. No preparing extra-special meals for "company". No worries about sleeping in late, going to bed early, taking afternoon naps, or any other aspect of scheduling. So that has been very nice.

All in all, a very good holiday.

And tomorrow evening, just our family and Son1's new girlfriend to ring in the new year. We've got our favorite New Year's Eve foods planned. We'll play some games. Watch a movie. And kiss when the clock strikes midnight.

Here's hoping your holiday and your new year are the best ever!

What would you do?

Today I pulled out a large box that was part of what ended up in our house after my mom passed away. And yes, I know, she passed away many months ago, so your first question can rightfully be...why are you just now going through those boxes? Well, lots of reasons.

There are so many boxes and so many things that the task is overwhelming. I don't mind admitting that I'm intimidated by the task that lies before me. There is so much to go through and I have no idea what to do with all that I uncover. The work we did in sorting and packing her house was just the beginning.

The other major reason for a delay...it is hard emotionally. After her death, we worked hard to pack up the things in her house and move them here. That alone was a task that was so difficult due to the distance involved and the emotions tangled up in the process.

So here I am, 21 months later, pulling out a large Rubbermaid container and starting through it. I knew this was a container that held photos. In fact, as I worked my way through it, it had more than 20 photo albums inside along with a fairly large pile of photos that were just tossed in the box. Twenty albums....hundreds of photos. Some of them are labeled...many are not. Some are people I know...some are not. Some are not people in my family, but seem to be friends of my parents. Others are family members that I don't know and, without any labels, I probably will never identify. And then, for some reason, there are multiple copies of some photos...the same photo showing up in different photo albums. No logic in that at all.

I labeled books as best as I could. But there are still hundreds of photos that leave me at a loss. What to do? What do you do with photos that you just can't identify? If they seem like acquaintances of my parents....easy choice. I can toss those. No one will ever want to see those again. But what about all the rest? All the photos they have of our kids...those are photos that we also have. Do I need multiple copies of each? And what about really old photos of family? Some are very old and probably would be meaningful if I had any idea who they were. But I don't. They are just old photos with old people.

I'm only one box in...with so many more to go. And I'm already at a loss.

A Lesson In Loss

A few folks have looked at the Wordle I posted when I returned from my long absence and said they would love to hear more about some of those words. And I’ll certainly share on several of them. For my own benefit, I’ll probably spend more time on the happier words than the sad words. But I’m gonna start with the sad ones – especially since they contributed to my long absence from blogging.

Some of those words in there – funeral, mother-in-law, estate, and cancer – all relate to the loss of several family members over the past 30 months.

Our first loss was our niece who died in a tragic accident in December 2007.

We really had not recovered from that loss when my mom passed away in February 2008. I never wrote so much about her death, but I did share some of what we dealt with after the fact both here and here.

Just two months after my mom’s death, my favorite aunt passed away. One more emotional blow when we were still struggling with our recent losses.

Throughout all of this time, my mother-in-law battled leukemia. After a long struggle, she finally passed away this past October.

All of these required our family to pack up and travel all around the country for funerals. We all became too good at putting on our “funeral clothes” doing the meet-and-greet at viewings and meals hosted by friends and churches, and serving as pall bearers to loved ones. These are skills at which no one should have to become very adept.

Aside from those skills, we learned other things. We learned to enjoy our family more. We learned to seize the day – go out, have fun, travel – not just worry about saving money for the future. The future is just too uncertain.

During that time of grieving, regrouping, learning…I stopped writing. It just mental energy to write that I just didn’t have at the time. I know, if you’ve read my writing, you think not a whole lot of mental energy could be going into that! But it was more creative energy than I could muster.

Instead, I spent time with family. I read a lot. We talked about our future and what we really wanted. We regrouped. We traveled. We ate out more. We started to have fun and embrace life in ways we never had before. Not that we did “new” stuff…we just did “more” stuff. A lot more.

That’s not to say we don’t still grieve. Some of it still feels too recent to let go. But losing people you love can really open your eyes to those you love that are still with you. Making the most of the time together is a critical thing to do.

We’ve worked hard to learn that lesson.

The First of the Season

The first camping trip of the season is always one of the best. Oh sure, it takes a lot of work setting up the camper, stocking it with food and supplies, just getting everything in order for the season.

But there is also the relaxing, the sitting in the sun, the swimming, the paddle boat, the kayaks, the delicious meals on the grill and the fun of just hanging out with the family away from the phones and the homework and the chores and the errands.

Hope your weekend was just as awesome.

Two people, one body

Most of you have read enough about Son18 to have a little insight into his disabilities. He is smart but very narrowly focused on his own agenda in life. He is funny and chatty but usually chooses not to talk to anyone. He has massive anxieties and compulsions. He is fun and interesting and frustrating and annoying - all at the same time.

But the most consistent thing I could point out would be his immaturity. He generally has been slow to reach developmental milestones. He still loves to play with his toys. He has routinely been far behind all his peers in everything from taking his first step to appreciating contemporary music.

Until now. Son18 has a girlfriend. I know...I'm even more surprised than you! But yes, between school and facebook and the phone, he has slowly developed a crush on a classmate. And apparently, she feels the same way about him.

This is simply stunning to us! He is suddenly showing us an entirely different person than what we've known for the last 18.5 years. The kid who just spent a large portion of his allowance to purchase custom pieces to add to his massive Lego collection is also asking questions about how to use cologne, wanted his own razor and shave cream, and actually seems to care what he is wearing.

Our heads are spinning. There is just a cognitive disconnect when your kid builds Lego creations while waiting for his girlfriend's mom to come pick him up for an afternoon of movie watching at her house. But that is exactly what took place yesterday.

We are happy for him that he has a girlfriend. We worry how his OCD will rear its ugly head when it comes to talking on the phone and sending messages. And we already dread the fallout when this crush is over. And let's face it, it will be over at some point. And what does that do to someone who has spent hours in tears thinking he will never have a friend?

Joy. Worry. Fear. All the emotions swirling in our heads.

But the biggest thing at the moment is just trying to get to know this new person who has shown up in Son18's body.

1 day, 2 evacuations - what are the odds?

It started with one quick text message...

I'M GONNA DIE

I got that message about 11:15 this morning from Son18 at school. Being more curious about why he was breaking the rules and using his phone in school than about his melodramatic announcement, I sent a text back asking why he was writing me. He proceeded to text quickly that the school had been threatened and they were in a lock down. Making the assumption that he probably should not be texting from school, I assured him quickly that if he was in lock down, he was safe...so just sit tight.

Moments passed. And then one final text from Son18...

Well if I do die, I luv u

Sure...rip my heart out! Now I had to pay more attention. But before I could, wifey called and wanted to know if I knew anything about what might be going on at the high school. Daughter15 had called wifey to say they were being dismissed early but she had no idea when it might be.

Well, a dozen text messages and quick calls later confirmed that the school was dismissing students - some being evacuated to a nearby elementary school, some put on buses and sent home, and those who could get parents to come get them were being released to parents. And the kids - who had not seen or talked with each other during all the excitement - managed to talk to wifey, get her on the road to pick them up, and coordinate a pickup spot approved by the school during this evacuation.

Ultimately, everyone got home safely. And the news reports that there was a written bomb threat at the high school but all kids were sent home safely, the campus was closed and searched, and no explosive devices were found. So a lot of excitement, a flurry of communication, and all was well.

Tonight, after all that excitement plus the other events of our day, wifey and I decided to go out for dinner. Just as our drinks were served, the fire alarm went off in the restaurant and we had to evacuate. Now we were starting to feel cursed! Two evacuations in one day seemed almost unfair.

We drove to a nearby restaurant, managed to eat without being kicked out in the cold due to bombs, fire, locusts, or any other disaster...and it is now very nice to be sitting at home by the fire.

Tomorrow has got to be calmer, right?

Pardon me while I puff out my chest with pride

In a recent post by molly_g over at Soapy Water, she discussed the difficulties she and many other families experience each year as holiday letters pour into our mailboxes with the obligatory shout-outs about the successes of their little munchkins. And like molly, I love our family and friends and feel good about their kids...but it is sometimes hard when our best news of the year might be "a better IEP meeting than last year".

And we get this same experience every Sunday at church. We have a time for sharing that often boils down to a series of parents standing up to mention their kid making honor roll or getting some scholarship to some awesome university. I feel good for them...but I also wonder about the successes we'll maybe share one day about Son18.

So I figure, when something good happens, I'm not holding back! And this is one of those times.

As part of his school program last year and this year, we've included a Community Work Experience class. This teaches the kids how to fill out job applications, write a basic resume, etc. But it also actually sets the kids up do to internships at different places in the community.

Last year, for about 12 weeks, Son18 did his first internship at one of the local elementary schools as an aide to the kindergarten teacher. It was basically a job where he would make copies, clean glue off tables, etc. For us, it was more about the opportunity to branch out socially and work around people that he didn't know.

He thrived. The teacher loved him. The kids loved him. And by the end of the year, not only was he sweeping up glitter after the craft activities, he was actually working with small groups of kids who needed extra help practicing their new reading words! It was a great experience for him.

So we get to this school year. This time his internship was going to be more tailored to what he likes. Son18 loves reading and writing so he was set up as an intern at the local newspaper. Again, the job was initially set up to include typing (do they still call it typing?) PR notices from local businesses that would go into the paper.

He loved it. He would inquire about all sorts of things he saw and heard in the newsroom. He progressed to typing articles. He learned to do phone interviews. He learned to operate the database software that archives every article in the history of the paper. He learned the basics of the software used to layout the paper.

At the end of his 9-week internship, his supervisor felt he was doing so well and learning so much, she asked if he could stay for an extra 9 weeks!

He did. And it was incredible. Not only did he continue to learn, he ended up with more than half a dozen bylines!

He finishes that job tomorrow. He will walk away with a portfolio of his writing, an evaluation that says he ended up doing the same work that they usually assign to the college interns, a letter of recommendation that the assistant editor insisted on writing, and encouragement by the newspaper staff for him to use the partnership between the high school and the local community college to begin taking college English courses at the college as part of his senior year in high school next year.

We are thrilled. Proud. And yes, I'm outright boasting! But when you have a kid with pretty complex special needs you gotta do it when you get the chance!

I wonder....is it too early to send next year's Christmas letter now???

A Series of Unfortunate Events

This afternoon I made a quick trip to the grocery story. Daughter15 and Son21 went along with me. Son21 actually wanted to deposit a check in the bank inside the grocery store and Daughter15 just went along for the ride.

When we entered the store, Daughter15 and I ventured off to find something yummy for dinner while Son21 headed to the bank. But in just moments he was joining us in the produce section. Our first unfortunate event was that we arrived at the store at 4:05. But the bank had closed at 4:00. Oops. His entire reason for going had been thwarted and he was annoyed. Rather than tag along with us, he quickly became bored and impatient and went off on his own.

Daughter15 and I finished gathering things for dinner and headed to check out. We didn't have many items so we chose to go through one of the checkout lines where you scan and bag your own items. Well, who was right in front of us in line? Son21. He had decided to purchase one of those new vitamin water drinks as a way of pacifying his annoyance about the bank.

But moving in behind him in line led to the second unfortunate event. For it seems the woman in front of Son21 was the slowest person in the history of human existence. She had a cart full of groceries and had scanned them all and paid for them. Now they were piled up at the end of the belt waiting to be bagged. Son21 had scanned his one item and paid before she even got started.

Now be patient with me while I share just how she went about this. Cause we surely had to be patient! She opened one bag to hold her groceries. And rather than set the one bag on the end of the belt, she put it inside the cart...which was parked behind her. And then she proceeded to use one hand to slowly and methodically lift one item from the belt, turn, place it carefully in the bag inside her cart, then turn back to the belt for the next item. Never using BOTH hands cause she was holding her gloves in the other hand. So it was one item at a time.

So we waited. And waited. And I wanted to scream "put your gloves down and use both hands and let's move along here!!!". But being the patient person I am (ahem), I did not scream. But I did eventually start scanning our groceries and told Son21 to grab them halfway down the belt, bag them, and we could be on our way. So he did. He sat his vitamin water down, bagged our groceries, and we were ready to leave just as the slow poke in front of us was walking away.

And then we discovered unfortunate event number three. She had apparently bagged and walked away with Son21's vitamin water. He was flabbergasted. Stunned. Disbelieving. And he stood there for several moments repeating "she took my vitamin water...she took my vitamin water...". I had sympathy. I also had a lot of laughter just watching the disbelief on his face. How could someone bagging their groceries in such a slow and deliberate manner make a mistake and take something that wasn't hers??

But she had. And I finally stopped laughing long enough to offer to buy him another. But nope, he was totally fed up with this whole trip and he just wanted to go home. And we heard about his vitamin water all the way home!

And again at dinner.

And after dinner.

And I have the feeling we just might hear about it some more tomorrow. And the next time we go to the grocery store!

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a super Christmas! We took off to visit my wife's family for a week. A very nice visit. Travel was pretty easy. The visit was fun. We had a nice Christmas, everyone got nice gifts, we ate awesome food for the week, and we came home feeling ready to kick back and relax for the rest of the holiday break.

Our family tradition for New Year's Eve (which may be a tradition for millions of people?) is appetizers. We just put out appetizers around dinner time. And we add more appetizers to the table as the evening goes on. We browse the table and eat all evening. Shrimp. Chips and dip. Little hot dogs in crescent rolls. Pizza bites. Meatballs. Chicken wings. It varies year to year...but always the appetizer spread. So I'm looking forward to some good eating later tonight. And the timing is perfect cause I'm actually pain free from the new braces for the first time! So bring on the food!!

I've got no words of wisdom or resolutions to share. I just hope you and your families and friends have a great New Year's and a fantastic 2009.

12 Days of Christmas

Up to this point I've spent 1 hour cruising for parking places, 2 hours walking in the mall, 3 hours sitting in traffic, 4 hours shopping online, and 5 golden hours waiting in lines to check out. Will it be possible to survive the rest?

We have almost entirely given up on eating food that we prepared. Taco Bell, Wendy's, Chili's, Burger King...I should be able to earn something for being a frequent eater. I mean, I earn miles for being a frequent flyer....so I should at least get a free piece of bacon on my whopper next time I pass through the drive-in.

We've also almost given up on family time. The holidays really aren't about family anyway...that is just in the movies. We are too busy to really see each other. Unless you count Daughter15's band concert. We saw her. Sorta. From our seat way in the back. Too bad she was sitting behind that tall flute player. Why can't they let the alto sax players sit on the front row just once?

But there is something for which to be grateful. Gift bags. All sizes and shapes. Instant gift preparation...no wrapping, no tape, scissors. Just drop it in and cover it all with a big wad of tissue paper. Every year I silently send good wishes to the person who created that life saver!

The OBX

The biggest event I missed writing about was our trip to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. It was our first real family vacation in 14 years...and it was fabulous. We spent 9 days on the road...flying into Norfolk, Va. for a night, then driving down to Nags Head for 7 days, then back to Norfolk for a final day to visit their aquarium and science center. It was all fantastic.

I could give you a day by day, activity by activity, meal by meal account of the trip...but I won't. It would take about 40 posts and involve overwhelming Blogger with hundreds of photos. But I will say we had the opportunity to enjoy swimming and playing in the ocean, going on dolphin watches, touring nesting sites of sea turtles, hiking, visiting the largest natural sand dunes in the eastern United States, flying kites on the beaches and the dunes, and so much more.

Yes, there were four of us with digital cameras so we really did come home with hundreds of photos. Son21 even documented his trip in food...taking a photo of his plate at every restaurant we visited. And I'm sure if you visited the Facebook pages of the kids, you would find more photos of our trip.

But I'll only show you a few here. If you want to see them all, drop by the house for a beer and a slide show.



We rented a house in Nag's Head for the week. It was a beautiful house with all the amenities - fully stocked kitchen, laundry service, heated pool, hot tub, five balconies, and nine (yes NINE) TV/DVD players. And each bedroom was a master suite so every kid had their own bedroom and bath. They felt quite pampered! LOL

The best part of it all was the location. Sitting in the family room or the dining room, we could look one direction and look out over the ocean...and in the other direction we could enjoy Albermarle Sound. And to walk to the beach...60 seconds. The photo above was the beach we visited nearly every day. It was perfect.



Not sure the photo really illustrates just how big and tall the dunes at Jockey's Ridge really are...but they were huge! It was definitely a workout to hike around the dunes. And Daughter15 and I returned to the dunes later in the week for some kite flying.



It seemed we could not get enough of the beautiful sunsets...whether on the beach, on our balcony, or here at the Sound.


There are a lot of famous lighthouses on the Outer Banks. This one, the Bodie Island Lighthouse, was closest to where we were.



It really was one of the most beautiful places I've ever visited. And even in a busy summer week, there were plenty of open spaces and serene locales.

It was a fun trip. And after the past ten months or so, it was quite restorative for our family.

Where did he go?

Camping! And more camping. And swimming and kayaking and basking in the sun. And don't forget sleeping late. And napping. And eating tons of good food off the grill. And reading. And a bit of mini golf.

And then I started over and did it all again!

The best photos definitely come from the lake. The early morning trips on the kayak when the lake and campground is quiet. There might be a few columns of smoke up in the trees from someone cooking breakfast over a morning fire. But other than that...peace and quiet on the lake in the early morning.

And when I go out later in the day, Daughter14 is always eager to
jump in the other kayak and go along for a paddle. The rest of the family prefers a more leisurely ride in the paddle boat.

So what's next on the schedule? Well I gotta come around and visit your blogs...see what has been going on.

And we've gotta do a little work around the house and a bit of back to school shopping. Which seems so wrong cause school has barely ended and now we are buying backpacks and new clothes for the upcoming year. Too fast!!

And then, in just ten days, we'll be leaving for our family vacation. Now what makes this one so special? Because we have not taken a real family vacation in fourteen years. Yep, 14. My work schedule wasn't conducive to it. And sometimes we just couldn't afford it. And the reality of a kid with special needs is that it can be very difficult to travel, stay in hotels, deal with unpredictable schedules, etc.

But this time, we are out of here! We'll be heading to the Outer Banks of North Carolina and all the kids are coming along and we can hardly wait!

But for now...home for a few days...and I'll be around to visit soon!

So what to do when it rains?

That's right...the 60/80 conundrum yesterday left us wondering what to do for fun. And all the kids said bowling! Something we had not all done together in years. But we headed to the lanes and had a great time!

Son21...

Daughter14...

and Son17 all showed off their styles.

And they all thought they would kick dad's butt. They didn't! Na na na na na na! But trust me, my score was nothing to brag about. In fact, I have photos of the electronic score sheet. But its my blog and I see no reason to embarrass myself by posting that! :)

60 or 80?

Does it even matter? Our plan for the three-day weekend was to head to our camper, enjoy playing in the lake, use the new kayaks, sit by the campfire, etc.

But it rained. And rained some more. It rained so much we didn't even go yesterday. Even when it wasn't raining, it looked like rain. It was cloudy and cool. Not great camping weather.

So we stayed home yesterday. Watched some good DVD's. Took a nap. Took the kids out for dinner. So not what we had planned but not a bad day.

But today we planned to get up and get right down there and make the best of the two days left in the long weekend.

When we woke up, it was raining. The weather channel says an 80% chance of rain and thundershowers today. Going online it says there is a 60% chance of rain and thunderstorms. Who is right? And does it matter? Do either of those numbers sound like the forecast that would beckon you to put on your thong and jump in the water? How about building a fire and roasting some marshmallows? Hard to keep a fire blazing in a downpour.

Do we go camping? Or do I break out that new book and spend an afternoon reading and relaxing? Either way will be fun. But seriously...can we have a bit of sun sometime this weekend!?!

__________________________________

Note: To relieve those chills you've been having since paragraph #5, I don't really wear a thong swimsuit. So you don't have to cover your eyes and keep the kids inside. I do have a new swimsuit with a very cool Hawaiian print, though. :)

THREE DAYS LEFT

If you are a parent, you know just how crazy the end of the school year can be. There are band concerts, field trips, special assemblies, forms to fill out, missing library books to find and return, finals to help kids prepare for, schedules to preview for next year, letters from administrators and guidance counselors about special summer events, makeup work for things that got missed, and a long list of other special things that get crammed into the last days of the school year.

But it is almost over. There are only THREE DAYS LEFT in the school year for the kids. A few more finals on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and they are free!

If you are a teacher, you know just how crazy the end of the school year can be. There are band concerts, field trips, special assemblies, forms to fill out, missing curriculum materials to find and return, finals to prepare, summer school schedules to preview, letters to write to parents about special events in the summer and leftover information from this year, and a long list of other special things that get crammed into the last days of the school year.

But it is almost over. There are only THREE DAYS LEFT in the school year! A final day with the kids on Monday and two teacher days on Tuesday and Wednesday and I'll be free!

Well, almost. Because my job description is a bit different. I don't actually teach in a classroom any more. I'm the technology coordinator and a professional development specialist for our school. So while I attend concerts and assemblies and field trips and all that stuff to assist the staff, I'm also scrambling to set up e-mail accounts for summer staff, filling out requisition forms for equipment upgrades and replacements during the summer, finding missing equipment that got loaned out and never returned, writing letters to parents about planned upgrades to the school web site and blogs for next year, and a long list of other special things that get crammed into the last days of the school year.

But it is almost over. There are only THREE DAYS LEFT in the school year for me! Videotaping the graduation ceremony on Monday and setting up laptops and projectors for two meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday, installing new software in the building, backing up the servers, finalizing accounts for summer staff and I'll be free!

Well, almost. Summer school doesn't begin until June 30th, but I'll be back on the 23rd to prepare a summer workshop on using the advanced data analysis tools in Excel for a group of teachers and clinicians wanting to enhance their skills in collecting, analyzing and reporting data. But at that point, I really can say just THREE DAYS LEFT because I'll prep on the 23rd and 24th and lead the workshop on the 25th. And then I'm free.

Really. Four whole days off ... until summer school begins.

A nice celebration

Yesterday was Daughter14's Affirmation ceremony. An Affirmation ceremony is the "coming of age" ceremony at our church.

All 9th grade students spend a year in the Affirmation class. During the year they explore the principles and beliefs of our religion...but also continue to explore a variety of other religious and spiritual pathways. These explorations are combined with discussions of all the "big" topics - what makes a person unique and special; what does each of them value in others; is there a God or Goddess or multiple gods and goddesses and, if so, what form do they take and what is their role in our daily lives; what happens when we die; etc.

It is not easy for a 14 year old to figure out what they believe about these things. It isn't even easy for a 52 year old to figure it out!

But the culminating portion of the class is that each student, working with the two class leaders and their own personal mentor, writes a credo statement about their beliefs at this point in their life. And then those statements are shared with the congregation during the Affirmation ceremony.

My daughter hates speaking in front of a crowd. And she considers any group with more than two people to be a crowd! But the church was packed and she did an awesome job.

In fact, all the kids did a terrific job.

And then there was a nice reception afterwards. I mean, all good events have food...right!?!

Daughter14....you did great! We are very proud of you!!!

Squeezing in the fun

I know my recent posts make it sound as if our life has become one crisis after another with nothing in between except grief, sadness, trauma and paperwork. And it is true that some days start to feel a bit like that! But we've done our best to squeeze in some "together" time and make sure we were remembering to enjoy our life.

A few weeks back, my wife and I traveled up to Northampton, MA to one of our favorite little clubs to have some dinner and to see The Wailin' Jennys, a folk group from Canada. These three women - plus one new group member, a guy they referred to as "the new jenny" - are just incredible. Between the four of them, they played at least 10 or so instruments throughout the show, entertained the crowd with plenty of charm and humor, and offered up some of their most popular songs. It was a really fun evening.

But we didn't want to keep all the fun to ourselves. So we also took the entire family to see Cirque du Soleil. This is the third time their touring show has made a stop in CT. We went to see them the first time, nearly four years ago, and all five of us were blown away! So there have been steady requests from the kids to see them again. And trust me, when you can get three teens too all agree that one thing is good, you don't take that lightly! So we were thrilled to have the opportunity to see them again.

If you seen Cirque, you know what they are like. If you've not seen them, words won't really describe it. And if you've seen them on Bravo, you know what they are about, but seeing them on TV does not do justice to just how incredible they are. While the tickets are a bit pricey, there isn't a bad seat in the tent. Yes, they really do perform in a tent. But once you are inside, it really doesn't feel like a tent. And the seats wrap around about 75% of the stage so every seat is close and has an excellent view.

And the performance itself is mesmerizing. Every aspect - the clowns, the lighting, the music, the gymnastics, the dance, the storyline - everything has been pulled together by what I believe are some of the most creative people around. One minute we were laughing as clowns raced through the audience and the next we were holding our breath as men performed on the wheel of death.

The kids loved it. We loved it. And the requests to see the next touring show have already begun.

So we've certainly had our tough moments over the past few months, but we've squeezed in some laughs and some good times when we've had the opportunity. And that time together has been especially nice as we've worked our way back to normal.

Fact or Fiction

Saturday was a good day of recovery for my wife - Ms NFMC (thanks for the alias, May!). But on the heels of one good day of recovery at home, she had a night of restlessness and nausea and vomiting. She was unable to keep down any food, any liquid, any of her medications.

And it was green. Like pea soup green.

So we looked on our list of "Call the doctor if any of these are present". This list had been kindly provided by the hospital when we left on Friday. There were about ten things on the list. She had three. Extreme nausea. Vomiting. Green vomit.

So the call was made. And guess what they told us to do???

You guessed it - return the emergency room - the place where it all began last Wednesday morning. The triage wait was very short. Nothing else on Sunday was short. We were in that tiny room in the ER for eight hours.

Eight is a very big number when you are bored out of your freaking mind! There is NOTHING to do in ER. Not one single magazine. No Sports Illustrated. No National Geographic. Hell, I would have been happy with Women's Day! But nope, nothing to read.

And no food or beverage. We left home about 8AM on Sunday morning. No coffee. No breakfast. And they would not let me bring in a soda or a snack. Nothing. Oh sure, I could go to the cafeteria and eat. But I could easily return to find my wife gone to some test with no idea what really happened to her. So I stuck around.

But I did eventually entertain myself. For example, when I took my wife's heart monitor off - that little thing they clip on your finger to monitor your pulse (heck, she was sleeping by then, she didn't know), I found out that my pulse was about two beats per minute faster than her pulse. And that little gizmo also monitors the level of oxygen in the blood. Don't ask me how, some sort of medical techno magic. But however it works, my rate was again about two higher than her rate. But we were both in the upper 90's - which apparently is good. But what was a little concerning about their magic technology was that the sheet had an oxygen content of about 60. Really? Hmmmm.

Oh, and those little stretchy things they wrap around your arm tourniquet-style to make the vein pop up for an IV...well those little suckers will really fly across the room if you pull back on them really good.

But enough about me and my fun. This is about my wife, huh? Cause she was the one laying on the bed. And since she went in reporting massive vomiting, they immediately gave her an anti-nausea medication. It stopped the urge almost immediately. And then, since she had been awake all night, she fell asleep and slept for most of the eight hours we were there.

And if they solved the problem right away, why did we stay so long? Well it wasn't cause the food was good! Apparently they wanted to figure out why she was throwing up. Picky, picky. So she slept...and periodically had someone take an x-ray or do an ultrasound or take a blood sample.

And the result of all that? They don't know! Their guess (gee, isn't it nice when the doctor only has a theory?!?!) is that she had a reaction to one of the anti-surgery medications they gave her. But did they change any of those? Nope. Just gave her some anti-nausea medication to take at home and sent us on our way.

After eight hours. I did say it took eight hours, right?

And today? She seems just fine. No throwing up. No pain from the surgery. Still sleepy from the medications. But basically it seems like the recovery is back on track.

Now...which parts of this story are fact and which are fiction?

Sadly, all of it is fact.

Put down the pins...

...and step away from the voodoo doll!

I'm starting to feel cursed! I mean, I just wrote last Friday about the on-going trauma to our little family. But we were bouncing back. And we bounced all the way to Wednesday morning about 3AM. That was when my wife woke me up due to her severe pain. We were off to the emergency room for a little visit by 4AM. And after a series of blood tests, ultrasounds, and 92 different interns and residents poking on her until she practically screamed and then asking "does that hurt?"....it was 1PM and they carried her off to surgery.

By the time I saw her again around 5, she was missing a gall bladder. But in so much less pain! Those little incisions were so much less painful than a gall bladder that was infected and engorged.

They kept her at the hospital until noon today...just monitoring lingering infection and pain, but she is home now and seriously medicated.

And the highlight of the whole ordeal (aside from her obvious improvement in health) was Son18 giving me a call at the hospital yesterday just to ask..."So when they took out her gall bladder, what did they do with it? Do they just have a big garbage can full of body parts?"

Whatever can they have, it now has one more seriously infected gall bladder. Better in the can than in my wife!

Landmarks in time...

During my absence from writing a couple of major landmarks took place in our family. First of all, my wife and I celebrated our anniversary. Twenty-three years of being together. And most of that time has been very good. Sure, we bicker about things at times. But not very often and not very intently. We generally get along very well.

And surprisingly, this year filled with sadness and difficulty within our extended family, has actually been a year that I've felt particularly close to my wife. Sharing our grief, supporting each other, and encouraging each other has been a really amazing bonding experience for us. We've become closer than ever. I hate the circumstances that caused it. But I treasure the new-found closeness that makes our marriage better than ever.

The other big landmark was a birthday. Son17 blew out the candles and became Son18. And of course we celebrated with a nice dinner out, a yummy chocolate cake, and plenty of gifts. And he was very happy with the gifts since he got exactly what he requested - an iPod Nano, the second season of LOST on DVD, an iTunes gift card, and some gigantic Lego model called the Exoforce Mobile Devastator. He got a few small things as well, but that was his "big four" and he was most happy.

A belated blogger Happy Anniversary to my wife and Happy Birthday to Son18!