Happy Birthday - Five Years After

I wrote my first blog post five years ago. I decided to blog a bit as I was turning 50. It was a time in my life to explore new technologies. And it was a time to be a bit more reflective about my life. Plus everyone who could type was starting a blog.

I wrote my last blog post almost one year ago. But at that time, I had already skipped months at a time over that previous year. By that point in my life, things were insane. Our oldest kid had moved out to go to college and then moved back in. Our second kid - the one with aspergers - was on his way to graduating high school and starting a transition college program. And our youngest was heading into her senior year in high school. Life was just too freaking busy to type.

But today I turn 55. A number that, for some reason, feels old to me. Not sure why this particular number is tough...but it is. All three kids are in college...three different colleges. One lives in his own apartment, one lives in a dorm, and one lives at home. Life is hectic.

But I'm going to try moving back to the blogging world. I feel the need to find time to slow down a few days a week and just write. Maybe to reflect and think about my life. Maybe to get back in touch with friends in the blogging world. And maybe just cause it is fun.

Either way...I'm back. And hopefully I can settle in and be a productive writer once again.

The Old Dog Tries Some New Tricks

Way back when I started this blog, I wrote about transitions. Go ahead...check it out. I'll wait.

Welcome back! So that was four years ago. Today I turn 54. And I find myself working through a whole new set of transitions.

Not about being old. I've got no real problem with turning 54. Well, no problem other than the places that hurt that didn't use to hurt.

No, the real transitions this time are more about trying to find myself...or maybe explore a new self...in the aftermath of so many changes in my life.

During these past 4 years, both my mom and my wife's mom passed away. We also had two other deaths in the family that were very hard on everyone. But not every transition was about death. We've also sent Son2 off to college. After struggling for 20 years raising this kid with asperger's syndrome, anxiety disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, he is off on his own. We are still more involved than any parent of a more typical college kid, but still, he has moved out of the house and is being successful.

So good changes. Bad changes. Lots of changes.

Time for me to regroup. To look for new ways to focus on positive things. To get back to an exploration of spirituality. To try new things. To let go of trying to be the uber parent. To let go of sadness.

Lucky you. You get to come along for the ride. And one of the best ways for me to be spontaneous is to have a plan. Yeah, I know...but that's how I am. So you'll see a link to a second blog over there on the side. I'm taking a shot at one of those memes that so many others have tried. And maybe going down that road will help me find an adventure or two.

Suggestions for new adventures are always welcome. Just keep in mind that I hate heights.

Happy 2007!

I've been reading everyone's resolutions today. A few of the 'usuals'...lose weight, procrastinate less, eat less, etc. We all have those...but they are so hard to live by. But I wish each of you the best!

Teena had a great scheme for combining her blogging and her fitness...that she says she got from someone else...but still, a fun idea.

Some folks have deeply moving resolutions about new directions in their lives. And I hope each comes to life for you.

For me, I don't usually make resolutions. But anyone reading along knows I turned 50 this year. So I am trying to work a little harder on good fitness. For me, that means exercising more, eating more fruit, eating fewer potato chips (my greatest weakness when it comes to snacking), flossing, and going to various doctors and dentists when they say I should and not just when I'm in pain. Not because I'm 50 and getting old. But because I'm 50 and I'm giving myself a tune-up so I'll be ready to kick butt for the next 50 years!

Hope you have a great 2007...and beyond!

One Possible Solution?

Some of you will recall the broken tooth right before Thanksgiving. And that was the second one in the past couple of months. Well this fella may have found the perfect solution. Seems he tooled his own set of teeth out of stainless steel! Let's see those suckers break!!


A handsome look, don't ya think???

The Nerve Test Thingy

A few days ago I mentioned going to the doctor with some discomfort and ending up scheduled for a round of bloodwork and a nerve conduction test.

You would think the bloodwork would be pretty basic. A quick stick and it's done. But not this time. Apparently this lab tech graduated from the Marquis de Sade College of Bloodletting. It hurt when the needle was going in. It hurt while it was in. And it hurt even worse when he pulled it out. And I still managed to walk out without bitch slapping him across the room.

And then came The Nerve Test Thingy. It was weird! First of all I had to walk around the room on tiptoe and then on my heels. No problem there. Then I had to hold my hands out in front of me, close my eyes, and shake my head. No problem again. Then I had to pat my head while rubbing my tummy. Oh, okay, so I made that one up. Let's move on.

The real core of The Nerve Test Thingy was the zapping, the poking, and the vibrating. The doctor had me lay down on the table while he attached all sorts of little devices to my arms and legs to measure response. Then he proceeded to zap me with a little electrical gadget that looked like those battery operated nose hair trimmers. It varied in intensity from a slight tingle to making me jump around the table like those actors when the yell 'clear' and zap them with the paddles! And then he put away that little gadget and poked me with wires (sort of an accupuncture thingy)...and oh yes, that was pleasant. NOT! Finally he touched me here and here and there (no, not THERE!) with a little vibrator. My job was just to let him know what I felt.

I'll get the results of some of this nonsense tomorrow. At the moment I'm not worried about the outcome. I think I'll be just fine. Unless they want more tests. Those things are worse than my original symptoms!

I never expected this!

So I turned 50 last month. Not such a big deal. I don't feel old. Don't look old (so I'm told by reliable sources). So I wasn't really worried. Oh, getting the bifocals - pardon me, graduated lenses - made me feel a little old. But that seemed to be the only real sign of aging.

And then I broke a tooth. Could happen to anybody, right? But I wasn't eating cashew nuts or nachos or chewy taffy. Oh no. I broke a huge hunk off of a tooth eating a glazed donut. A fresh one. Soft. Should not have broken a tooth, right? Dentist managed to repair without much discomfort.

Then I went to the doctor due to some discomfort. That led to some simple tests in the office. Not being satisfied, I'm now lined up for blood work, a session of nerve conduction testing, and a return to the doctor. Oh...and get this. The doctor actually used the phrase "a person of your age". OUCH! Totally unnecessary, dear doctor.

And last night, eating a pizza with a soft crust, I broke another freaking tooth!! Not the same one...but the same position on the opposite side! Of course the dentist was all booked up today. I whined on the phone about eating Thanksgiving dinner with a broken tooth and earned their sympathy. They worked me into the schedule and all is well - as long as I avoid hard food, sticky food, cold food, and hot food. And get this...he actually used the phrase "when people get to be your age". Is this a conspiracy?!?

So I feel a little like I'm falling apart overnight. And I'm not loving that feeling. But I know I've had enough of that 'person of your age' shit! I'm just NOT that old!

The Big Day

Yes, the day has arrived. Fifty years old. Half a century. Daughter13 sweetly asks, "So Dad, does this make you a senior citizen?" Ouch!

Work was fun. My office was draped, filled, covered in black crepe paper streamers. Fans were provided for 'hot flashes'. Photos and other desk items were 'artfully' rearranged or hidden away entirely. Login passwords were changed on my computer (to simulate a loss of memory as I typed in over and over what I thought was my password). Electronic greeting cards filled my Inbox while my desk was piled high with various cards featuring pictures of old men. I got little gifts here and there. One classroom really surprised me with a little party where each student made a small presentation of a card, gift, balloon, or treat. And the staff had a birthday cake at the end of the day.

At home there have been cards, gifts, various phone calls from friends and family, and a trip out to dinner with my wife and the kids. Now all that is left is blowing out the candles (hopefully NOT fifty of the suckers!) and having some coffee and cake before calling it a day and settling down to relax.

Being fifty really doesn't seem so bad. But then, it is only Day One.

(Hmmm...I've never hurt there before)

You've Got Mail!

It was bound to happen. My invitation to join the AARP arrived in the mail today. Ouch! The big birthday is still a few days away. Do we have to rush things?!?! Besides, while some people calculate and know just how long before they can ditch their job and golf all day, I actually love my job. And I don't golf. And I'm in no hurry to retire!

Okay, I know the AARP isn't just for retired folks. And I mean no disrespect to the organization. I'm sure they do good things for seniors. (Ooo, that's another 'ouch'. Do I have to call myself a 'senior'???) But I can't overlook the humor in the large (obviously) button on their home page to make the text larger. And, as someone who still feels young, I cringe when the top link on their Fun & Games page is Tell Us About Your Grandparenting Activities. Dear god, please let 'grandparenting' be years away!!!

Growing Old(er)

With my fiftieth birthday just days away, I crossed one of those lines in the sand today. I got new glasses. No, not bifocals. Those are so 'old school'. Nope, I got the amazing graduated lenses. When telling me just how amazing they really would be, the doctor assured me that the top part of the lense would allow me to see Uranus with crystal clarity while the bottom portion of the lense would allow me to read the fine print on my watch battery. And somewhere in between, if I held my head nice and straight, the focus would be perfect for looking in the neighbor's window.

Well, I got 'em on right now. Drove home without killing anyone. And I will admit, I can see pretty darn good. But there is obviously some adjustment period here. The obvious, of course, is that people tend to look down when we read so they stick the 'close vision' part along the bottom. Of course, we look down to walk and traverse stairs, too. So that will take some getting used to. But I had been warned. On the other hand, no one had told me that things would seem to 'bend' nearer and farther away as I moved my head from side to side. And at the moment, the laptop screen seems to be just at the right distance to be out of focus unless I find that one tiny sweet spot with my head just slightly tilted to the right and my chin tucked down, just so.

I'll get used to them. And they are better than my old glasses. But the whole thing makes me feel just a tad older than when I got up this morning.

To Blog, or Not To Blog

The question of the day...should I start my own blog?

TO:

Transition. A life change is always a good time to begin something new. Earlier this month, my youngest (Daughter13) became a teenager. That makes me the proud dad of three teenagers. Of course, it also means my hair is turning grey at a faster pace than ever! Later this month, I'll turn fifty. That's right, the big FIVE OH. I'm not freaked out by that. But I'm very aware of where it puts me every time some survey asks me to check off my age group!

Addiction. I read my first blog about a year ago. I was so innocent at the time. And for six months or so, it was a gradual process of finding blogs I really enjoy. It was a casual pleasure. But then I started to need more blogs. And I added RSS feeds so I didn't have to wait around to know the latest posting. Now I find reading (and sometimes commenting) has become part of every day. And I figure, if I'm gonna be playing in the blogosphere anyway, I might as well go ahead and dive in the deep end.

The Geek Factor. I love computers. I love the internet. Creating a blog tweaks the geek deep inside.

NOT TO:

Enough already! One estimate is that 75,000 new blogs are created every day. Another estimate put it this way: a new blog is created every second. EVERY SECOND!! Do Google and Wordpress and the others really have servers that big??? And can all those blogs find an audience or do they just add to the muddle? On the other hand, I'm not really writing to find or entertain a particular audience. I'm writing for my own pleasure. If someone comes along, that's cool. If not, that's okay, too.

SUMMARY

Transition + Addiction + Geek Factor > The Muddle

So I created my little corner and this is where I'll be.