Saturday, October 28, 2006

Public Privacy

This little blogging adventure has created an odd paradox. Each entry is public and available to anyone who might find it. Anyone. In the entire world. And yet, in my head, there is the perception of privacy. I suppose that comes from the fact that it is somewhat anonymous. In so many ways, the internet creates this illusion of anonymity and privacy even as we reveal things to strangers. Since my first and last names aren't stuck on each entry, I make the assumption that no one really knows who am I.

But what happens when they do?

I've been totally comfortable knowing that one or two folks have found my blog and read it. I appreciate the comments. I like sharing my thoughts. But it occurs to me that I've not given the URL to a single person I know. Why?

I guess it seems more vulnerable to have someone I know read my thoughts. It feels more intimate. It feels more exposed. And I'm not sure I understand that phenomenon. I'm not writing anything that reveals my deep, dark fantasies. I'm not admitting to heinous crimes. So what makes it feel this way?

Perhaps it isn't what I write, but simply the fact that I'm writing? I've never thought of myself as a writer. I'm not a terribly creative or insightful person. I'm just writing stuff down. And maybe that, in itself, is a little embarrassing.

And maybe out of millions of bloggers, I'm the only one who feels this way. Maybe not.

Maybe it is time to invite a friend to read.

5 comments:

Winston said...

You are experiencing what almost all of us do at some point. Sometimes more than once. Inviting someone to read is your choice, and a very personal choice as you have already found. But having a blog, whether anonymously or out in the open, it's kind of like your own little "Field of Dreams". Build it and they will come...

cyndy said...

Good evening Em
from Michele's weekend meet and greet. I' not a writer either, nor do I spell out my heinous crimes or greatnesses in life..I just talk like I would to my friends and I only "blog" when something actually makes me think "humm"
A blog is yours...to do with what you feel or will

radioactive girl said...

Nobody that I know in real life knows about my blog. I think if I knew they did I would stop writing things. Not because I am writing anything that is super private, or secret but just because I would be embarrassed to be putting my real uncensored thoughts out there for people I actually have to deal with. I also think my husband would make fun of me for doing something so "dorky". There it is, the reason I haven't told anyone. Except when I write things, I am always careful to read it and make sure that if someone I knew stumbled upon it they wouldn't be hurt by what I wrote.

Em said...

Radioactive...Thank you! I think that fear of being the 'dork' is a key reason I've kept quiet. Like you, even my significant other doesn't know. Yet. I don't think she would make fun of me. But she might think I had lost my mind! LOL I am careful what I write. There is always the chance that person might read it. But for now, you and I can hide under the 'dork' blanket of invisibility.

abbynormal said...

Hi em, thanks for stopping by my blog and for your comment! I will visit again.

When I first started blogging, no one knew about it, not even my husband. Then I got a couple of readers, then a couple more. I eventually invited my husband to read just so he knew I wasn't dissing him!

It is strange to have a public "journal", but I've met some interesting people through blogging. Most people in my real life don't know that I blog.