Happy Birthday - Five Years After

I wrote my first blog post five years ago. I decided to blog a bit as I was turning 50. It was a time in my life to explore new technologies. And it was a time to be a bit more reflective about my life. Plus everyone who could type was starting a blog.

I wrote my last blog post almost one year ago. But at that time, I had already skipped months at a time over that previous year. By that point in my life, things were insane. Our oldest kid had moved out to go to college and then moved back in. Our second kid - the one with aspergers - was on his way to graduating high school and starting a transition college program. And our youngest was heading into her senior year in high school. Life was just too freaking busy to type.

But today I turn 55. A number that, for some reason, feels old to me. Not sure why this particular number is tough...but it is. All three kids are in college...three different colleges. One lives in his own apartment, one lives in a dorm, and one lives at home. Life is hectic.

But I'm going to try moving back to the blogging world. I feel the need to find time to slow down a few days a week and just write. Maybe to reflect and think about my life. Maybe to get back in touch with friends in the blogging world. And maybe just cause it is fun.

Either way...I'm back. And hopefully I can settle in and be a productive writer once again.

Identity In 2010

I first put my toe in the shallow end of the Internet pool way back on October 21, 1994. That's when I set up an account on AOL and began exploring the Internet. And I remember that moment of panic when the prompt came up to create a Screen Name. A what?? I didn't know I would need a screen name. But the HELP section explained it to me. And it gave some precautions. So I felt I should choose something that didn't tell people exactly who I was.

After that, for years, we were all told to be somewhat anonymous online. Women shouldn't use a screen name that indicated they were female cause they would just be targeted for sex. Kids shouldn't reveal they were young or they would be targeted for sex. Somehow, middle aged white guys weren't being targeted for sex. Some of us were just a tad insulted. But we moved on...being anonymous online. Hiding behind screen names. I had a screen name for AOL...and so did my wife. I had a screen name for CompuServe (remember that one!?!). Of course, it was a different screen name than the AOL screen name cause the same one wasn't available on both services. But heck, being a whole bunch of anonymous people had advantages. Every time I wanted to hang out in certain user created chat rooms...well, we don't need to explore that part of my online history.

Point being, for years we were all a big secret.

And then things began to change. Integrity came with transparency. Being the real me made it possible to blog and do other things online as a professional. And as those professional uses of social media began to overlap with personal uses, there was more confusion between various aliases in some places with real names (or in my case, still clinging to the idea that some secrecy was the way to go), an initial and a name.

Then came facebook. Everyone suddenly felt the need to use their real names. Otherwise, how could those old college friends find you? Besides, facebook feels like a safe place...just people sharing photos of their kids, talking about the routine pieces of their lives, and touching base with old and new friends.

Now...what's a boy to do? My professional blog and professional twitter account identify me the same way. My name. My facebook account has my real name. But here...in blogger...the place I've actually connected and talked with many people...I'm still a nickname. Sure, many of the folks who have talked with me via e-mail over the years know my real name now. But there is an odd disconnect between here and everywhere else. All my family and friends know me on facebook. Only two people that I actually know in real life know about my blog. But I don't write anything here that would offend them or upset them. And even if I did, I write what I really think. It isn't a big secret.

So at what point does pseudo-privacy and anonymity fade away and we all become clickable as the person that we really are?

What do YOU think? How do YOU handle it? Are YOU...really you?

My network has networks

Is it just me or has it gotten really hard to manage an online presence? I know we are all busy with holiday stuff and kids and paying the bills and all that good stuff. It all takes time. And then we try to squeeze in time to read a few blogs, comment on a few, and update our own.

But that's just the tip of the iceberg! This blog is just one blog for me. I also have two that are part of my job. In addition, I help maintain numerous parts of a large website for our school. But even those big pages are just the beginning.

Let's talk blogs. How many do you read? My Google Reader tells me I'm subscribed to 162! Some are for fun. Some are for work. But it takes time to read them all. Google tells me I've read 1,193 items in the past 30 days. There were way more that I didn't get time to read. The problem is...I wanted to! I wanted to read them all. But there just wasn't time.

Then there is e-mail. At the moment I've got eight (yep...EIGHT) e-mail accounts. Many I don't have to check cause they are just associated with work things and all the e-mail gets routed to one inbox. But I do check four accounts several times a day and try to respond to all the mail I receive.

And Twitter. Do you tweet? Did you have to download and try Twitterific and Spaz and a variety of other desktop applications so you could easily read the stream of tweets?

Facebook? Yep...got a page...visit it about once a month. MySpace. Got a page...never go there.

And don't even get me started on things like Ning and delicious and bloglines and all the other social networking possibilities!

I guess what I'm saying is...how do you manage it all?? Do you even try? Or did you narrow things down to a simple e-mail and blog?

I want to be in touch. I love being in touch. I love the social networking phenomenon. But damn, it sometimes seems like a lot of work to have fun!

It was twenty years ago today...

Well, not really. In reality it was two years and nine days ago today that I started this adventure into blogging with the Shakespearean paraphrase To Blog or Not To Blog. And over the first year and a half or so I did pretty well. I wrote. I visited you. I commented. I got to know lots of blogger friends online.

And then a harsh reality intruded. Life dealt our little family a series of blows starting last December with the death of our 16-year-old niece in a sledding accident. That was followed less than two months later with the death of my mom. At about that same time, my mother-in-law was classified as no longer being in remission with her battle against leukemia and a variety of treatments were reintroduced. Shortly after all that, my favorite aunt - one who had played a very large part in raising me - passed away. In addition, my wife had emergency gall bladder surgery followed by a difficult recovery. And thanks to all the information gathered during that episode, she has since been diagnosed with high blood pressure and diabetes. And finally, I was diagnosed as having several mild basal cell carcinomas.

Fun, huh?

As all that took place, my writing and my visits to read your writing dwindled. It was sporadic at best...and non-existent the rest of the time. Finally, as I reached the end of summer school and left for our family vacation, I took a break from the blog. I had intended to take that break just for a couple of weeks while we traveled and relaxed. But upon returning home, the stress of the past year still weighed heavily. Several aspects of our life felt out of control as we had devoted so little time to things around the house. So I just decided the blog had to rest until things felt somewhat back to normal.

Now here I am! Normal? Not a chance, really. But much better. The beginning of the school year is behind and things feel much more settled than they have in a long time. We are still working to settle some things with my mom's estate. My MIL has completed some very successful courses of chemo and the doctors are hopeful that she will again be considered in remission. And my wife's health is doing just fine.

So I'm back! And no, you don't have to leave any sympathetic comments about all that happened. We all have bad times and so many of you have already left comments or e-mailed (or both!) just to check on me. And I gotta say, to get so many e-mails from folks who just wanted to say "hi"...to see how I was doing...and who said they missed reading the blog, that was awesome. Thank you!

Over the next few weeks I'll try to catch up on things that I've missed writing about...and get back in the swing of things. And I can't wait to wander around and see all that has been going on with everyone!

To Blog or Not To Blog? The answer is still a resounding YES!

In memory...

A nod to Winston Rand at nobody asked.... Winston passed away on Saturday. He was a very good online friend - someone who encouraged me a lot in my efforts at blogging. And he was an excellent writer with a great outlook on life.

His voice will be missed.

You came looking for me...

I know...I've been away. Haven't posted since New Year's Day. But here is just how awesome you guys have been...

tulipmom stopped by "just checking in"

whimsical, who never fails to check on me with a comment and/or an e-mail, stopped to ask "is everything ok?"

CS left a message hoping that my cold was not still hanging on and keeping me down

Mama P said...well...it was about sex so we'll leave it at that

And then Gretchen said... "you never write...you don't call...what's up?"

You got me Gretchen. I've not called. Or written. So I would do that right now...except...I don't know your phone number nor your address. So let's pretend...

Your phone is ringing...you run to pick it up (thinking it is probably a poll for Clinton or Obama and why can't they just leave you alone!?!?)...and it is me! "Hey friend, how ya doing?!?!" Then we talk...we share funny stories...we compare what we got for Christmas...and life is good again. :)

For all the rest of you that have commented or e-mailed but that I didn't pretend-call, I have been away. Not for any dramatic reason. Work has just been crazy busy. Home life has been busy. And it takes a lot more time than you would think to figure out how to hide a receding hairline.

Does that mean I'm back now? Yeah, I think so. Things seem to be slowing down a bit. Everyone had the cold. Everyone is over the cold. And I haven't had to spend too much time shoveling snow lately. And my Patriots only have one more game to play. So I think I may actually find time for the fun things I enjoy again. And writing would definitely be one of those things.

And just as much fun will be visiting your blogs! It has been so long it may take me all weekend to get around to everyone and catch up on what's been going on. But I'll get there. And it will be good to see each of you again.

Wanna catch a movie?

A couple of days ago I got an e-mail invitation from Dorky Dad's Facebook page. He invited me to check out our movie compatibility. How could I resist? I mean, if we only lived about 1300 miles closer together, we might even be able to catch a movie together. Just two good blogger buddies hanging out at the cinema.

But then I took the little quiz. Oops!

While we scored as "casual buddies", it seems clear that if we tried to choose a comedy we would both enjoy, the entire outing would end in a war of raisinetes and goobers. On the other hand, we do seem pretty compatible on the...uhhh...love stuff. But I don't think I'm driving 1300 miles just so Dorky Dad and I can share a box of kleenex while we sniff our way through The Way We Were.

But the fun thing about this Facebook movie compatibility test was that it also let me compare my score to any other friends who had taken the quiz. Again, how could I resist?

And who would I match up with best? Jessica from Oh The Joys!

It looks like we could spend a fun evening at the movies and not have any difficulty at all in finding a movie we would both enjoy. Sounds good to me!

So Jessica, just let me know when you're free and I'll meet you in the lobby.

I'll be the one in the Park Ranger outfit. ;)

Blog Action on the Environment

Blog Action Day and many of us are writing about our contribution to the environment. But more than my contribution, I'm mostly reminded of how much I don't do.

Oh sure, I drive a small car that gets good mileage, but I've never given any thought to car pooling. And we recycle our glass and paper and plastic, and yet we still contribute far too much to the landfill. So sometimes I feel like our efforts won't really make a lot of difference.

But one of our choices has proven me wrong. I've written before about our membership in a local farm that engages in Community Supported Agriculture. We just completed our second year of membership. And it has been a fantastic experience. We consistently get far more produce for our money than we would ever get at the supermarket. Everything we get is fresh picked. It is all grown organically. And we are supporting a local farmer. I feel really good about this and the food is awesome! We eat fresh produce every day for the entire summer and our freezer is packed with frozen veggies and tomato sauce and salsa. We'll be eating food from the farm all winter.

And the support of the farm has been a good thing. The membership in the farm has grown every year. This farm had been a community supported farm for several years before we joined, but in our first year, there were 50 members. This year, it increased to 85...and he turned away close to 40 more. But the support of the local community has allowed him to purchase extra farmland and next year he'll be able to provide food to nearly 125 families in the area.

Local. No fuel or pollution to transport it. Organic. No fertilizers or pesticides in the earth. It tastes fantastic. And I actually get to meet and know the farmer that grows food for my family.

This is one contribution to the environment that I really do think makes a big difference.

Still in my corner...

I began blogging one year ago. In that time I've written 127 posts (this makes 128). I've had a lot of fun thinking about topics. I've become a little more tuned in to the little details of my day as I ponder whether or not something would make good blog material. I've had a chance to try to write creatively in both serious and humorous posts. And I've had a blast.

But that is not the best part of this experience. The totally unexpected aspect of this has been building a community with other bloggers.

See, I never expected anyone to really read this thing! I'm not writing about anything deep or thought-provoking. And there are certainly more creative folks out there. So I expected to write for my own fun and that would be it.

But people did read. Many of you read more than once, even! And you keep coming back. While I've only written 127 posts, I've had just over 12,000 visitors!!! And you've left several thousand comments. Some of you know quite a bit about me and my family by now. And that is awesome.

And I've come to read your blogs. I feel like I "know" many of you now and I look forward to each new item you share. And I still open up my browser and read your posts and leave my comments with a certain sense of awe that you are in Alaska, Canada, Tennessee, Australia, Texas, France, the Philippines, California, Minnesota, South Carolina, England, and yes, even here in Connecticut.

Your posts, your comments, our visits back and forth have connected me with people that I would never meet in real life. Some of those visits have been short. Some of us have traded comments and read about each other a whole bunch of times over the past year. And in some cases, the posts and comments have turned into conversations via e-mail, giving us time to share even more.

When I started this thing, I wondered if I would stick with it. Would I run out of things to say? Would I get bored talking about my own life - which frankly, isn't that fascinating. Would I just get distracted and forget. But none of those things happened. I'm still here in my corner and I'm looking forward to Post #129!

And I'm looking forward to more conversations with you.

Brought to you by the letter P

My friend cs has tagged me with this little meme. It seems simple enough...write about seven words that begin with the letter P. All I have to do is choose seven words and start writing.

Yeah, I know. Seven words that begin with P. I was tempted. What a list of P words that came to mind! P words in the bathroom. P words in the bedroom. Body parts and body functions. All starting with P.

But that would be too easy. Besides, if you read the words chosen by cs, you'll see that she set the bar a little bit higher than the words that first raced around in my brain.

So I've chosen different words to explore - all beginning with the letter P.

Parent. I've got three kids between 13 and 20 years of age. And one of our kids has multiple special needs. So for the past twenty years, one of the most significant aspects of my life has been parenting. And I feel good about my parenting. I'm not great at it but I take it very seriously. I'm not always conventional or predictable. But I have a great time with my kids. And no matter how old they get, I'll always have the pleasure of being their parent.

Partner. There are so many ways to describe my relationship with my wife. Spouses. Lovers. Best friends. Soul mates. Some terms seem more romantic, some seem more practical. And they all imply different aspects of our relationship. And 'partner' is certainly one aspect that is very important. We share in having fun and also in making tough decisions. We share in the challenges of raising a family and making a home. We support each other when money is tight and we celebrate together when things are going well. We are partners - side by side, sharing in all aspects of life.

Pagan. Just a couple of weeks ago, I participated in the Joys & Trials meme. In the comments, a couple of folks asked questions about just what spiritual path I followed. I grew up in a conservative Southern Baptist family. Upon reaching adulthood and moving away from home, I stopped attending church and didn't really even think about religion for many years. When I finally returned to a church, I chose Unitarian Universalism, a church that has no specific doctrine, giving me the opportunity to explore based on my own interests and feelings. And that exploration has led me through a much more liberal perspective on Christianity, some Buddhist study, a lot of reading on Quantum Theology, and paganism. I'll admit, I don't practice any pathway as much as I think I should. But I do seem to have settled into a belief system that is sort of a blending of a few of my original beliefs combined with some of the quantum theories and a lot of paganism. I've sometimes referred to myself as a solitary autodidactic eclectic. Just a fancy way of saying I sort of make it up as I go along. But for me, it has to be that way. There are aspects of different spiritual pathways that are meaningful to me and I incorporate those into my beliefs. But I probably pull the most from paganism. I love the connection to nature, the feelings of mystery, the historical connections to old Celtic practices. The more I really pay attention to my body, the more aware I am of just how much I am influenced by the changing of the seasons and by spending time outdoors. And pagan spirituality reinforces that for me on many levels. I used to think I had to pick a path and stick with it. Sort of the "finding the right way" attitude. Now I know that, for me at least, it will always be a learning process, growing as I grow.

Play. I love to play. I enjoy board games and card games. I love to just be silly. I'm sure everyone in my family would tell you that I rarely act my age. But who says old guys have to act serious? My daughter just told me this week that one of her friends told her that she really liked me and wished her dad was more fun. You just can't beat that kind of review!

Pets. Animals have been a huge part of our family. At the moment, we only have five - one dog, two turtles, and two rabbits. But we've had as many as twenty at a time including dogs, cats, turtles, rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, and fish. Some of our animals have been entered into the local fairs. We've even had a couple of Grand Champions! And just in case all those animals weren't enough, we've also been a foster family for raising guide dog puppies a couple of times. All those extra paws and claws and fins certainly make our house a fun place to be.

Present. Nope, not like a birthday present (though you can send me a present any time you want!) I'm talking about being present. In the moment. This is my personal challenge - to really be present in the moment. It is so easy to be sitting in the sun or floating in the lake while my brain reviews things I need to do at work. I can go out to dinner with my family and find myself planning things I need to get done on the weekend. And I'm trying to stop that. To learn to really be present in the moment. To embrace each activity as it happens. There will be plenty of time for work when I get to work. Plenty of time for chores and paying bills. My kids are growing up fast and I want to really live in every minute.

Word seven. But cs established a pattern (oh look, another P word!). She chose to only write about six words. That seems perfect (there's another one). So I'm going parrot her lead and do the same (okay, am I trying too hard now?).

But I do need pass this P meme along to another blogger. And to do that, I'm going to the Pole. The North Pole. Well, nearly that far. I'm passing it along to Kati in Alaska. Have fun, Kati! I'm eager to see what you do with the P's!

While I was away...

Just before school began, I was away from the blogosphere for a while. A little time camping. A few days of working extra hours. And when I got back to this corner, I was surprised and honored to find that three different bloggers had passed along blog awards to me.

Talk about a shock! When I started blogging I really didn't expect anyone to read it. And I certainly never expected anyone to check in on a regular basis. But many of you do and it is more fun than I ever imagined. And to get a pat on the back along the way is just very cool.

Jenster, who has a wonderful blog, tapped me with the Blogger Reflection Award. The award gets passed along to bloggers who have been an encouragement, a source of love, impacted you in some way, and have been a Godly example to you. Bloggers who, when you reflect on them you get a sense of pride and joy… of knowing them and being blessed by them.

Wow, quite an honor to have Jenster think so highly of some of the things I've written. Thank you!

Now the rules of the award...

1. Copy this set of rules.
2. Reflect on five bloggers and write a least a paragraph about each one.
3. Make sure you link this post so others can read it and the rules.
4. Go leave your chosen bloggers a comment and let them know they’ve been given the award.
5. Put the award icon on your site.

I'll proudly display the icon. And I read more than five blogs that really touch me with their writing. But I'll narrow it down to five for the moment and here they are...

Nancy at Just Thinking... certainly qualifies as a reflective blogger. She writes about her life and family, but she also speaks courageously about her concerns for the world, the environment, and the people that live on the planet.

Wizened Wizard is definitely someone I feel proud to know - at least as much as you can know someone through their blog. She continues to amaze me with her thoughtful writing and her love and respect for nature (and her amazing photos) keep me coming back to her blog day after day.

Radioactive Girl is an inspiration. She has shared openly and bravely about her battles with cancer and the health concerns of her children. Of course that isn't all her blog is about. All of her writing is great to read.

Many people would claim that a seventeen year old kid isn't very reflective. In most cases, I might agree. But there is one seventeen year old who has great insight and writes about it so well, she clearly sets the bar higher for all of us. Theory of Thought definitely earns this blogging award with her writing.

Lastly, one of my newest blogging friends is Darren over at Clare's Dad. For the past year or so, he has been a stay-at-home dad with his pre-school daughter and has written a lot about the joys of sharing that time together. Now, she is off to school and he is off to find a job outside the home. I can't wait to see what happens next.

In addition to the Reflective Blogger Award, two people passed along the Nice Matters Award. This award gets passed to people who are just plain nice. And frankly, that's about a high a compliment as you can get!

The two folks who passed it along to me are pretty darn nice, too! Which explains why they got the award. Tulip Mom is a stay-at-home mom raising her son with Asperger's Syndrome. But she doesn't stop there. She writes about parenting plus a whole bunch of other stuff at her blog. And then there is Dorky Dad. When it comes to writing entertaining blogs, DD is the guru, the Peyton Manning of blogging. If you don't know who Peyton Manning is, he is a pretty decent football player - which is hard to admit for a real New England fan. But it isn't hard to admit that Dorky Dad is a totally rocking blogger. And I would have nominated both of these if they hadn't already been honored.

Fortunately, so that you can stop reading soon, this award has no rules that require me to write individual little paragraphs about my nominees. So let me just say that all five of these folks are super nice. They've all left comments and/or sent e-mail that encouraged me along the way with my blogging. And they all write blogs that I love to visit. So my nominees for the Nice Matters Award are...

Jocelyn at O Mighty Crisis - a great entertainer with her writing
CS at another tangential thinker - great writing with terrific photos
Big Brother - he IS watching...and writing about it.
Whim at The Babblings of Whimsicalnbrainpan - she has been through a lot (you can read all about it) and she is an amazing person
Charlotta (who looks just like Wonder Woman!) and is very supportive to other bloggers.

These are all terrific bloggers and totally deserve recognition for being super nice.

It is an honor to get these awards...but an even bigger honor to shine a little light on some of my favorite bloggers!

I'm a hobnobber!!

My blogger friend CS over at another tangential thinker writes on her blog almost every day. And I read her blog every time she adds to it. Why? Because she shares such wonderful stories of her life and she takes awesome photos that bring her words to life. CS says her credo is "life is weird and unpredictable, but often in a good way." Well, CS isn't weird. But what she might choose to write about or photograph is often unpredictable. And always in a good way!

Why else do I read her? Cause she is a hobnobber, too! That's right, she won the Power Of Schmooze award. And then she turned right around and gave that award to me!


Much like CS, I always thought of schmoozing with a somewhat negative point of view. It seemed like someone being insincere and manipulative. And while some of the definitions of "schmooze" do include the fact that it can be done to flatter or manipulate, that certainly is not all it is meant to be. For example, CS quotes the definition that says "to converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.” And when I checked it out, I also found "to talk intimately and cozily" and "a long and intimate conversation".

I think that sums up blogging for me. My blog, and the many wonderful blogs I read, comprise a long and intimate conversation. Sure, the conversation gets broken up into pieces, shared bit by bit, growing and changing as life unfolds around us. But when I add up all the different things I've read about some of you, I've certainly gained a lot of insight into your lives. And I think I've shared enough that some of you can look right in my window and know whats going on in my house.

In CS' definition it mentions to talk casually "to make a social connection." I do feel connected to many of you. I read about you every day. I know more about some of you than about people I see every day in my life. And I love that about blogging.

So I accept this blogger schmooze award with pride...and thank you, CS!

And I get the honor of passing it along to some folks who use their blogs in the best hobnob fashion by encouraging us to make social connections among the blogosphere and by sharing bits and pieces of their lives with us. So...I present to you...three schmoozers!

Jenster - who says her writing is just the mundane ramblings of a busy homemaker, but who, in reality, shares wonderful stories about her life.

Nancy - who seems like she is thoughtful and soft spoken and who tells us about her day and about her observations and reflections on the world around us.

Charlotta - who admits she has a lotta thoughts and she enjoys sharing them. She has even tried to answer that question that always vexes us males....why do women always go to the bathroom in groups. It just never seemed like something that would require audience participation.

Now in my best schmoozing style, lean over close so I can give you an air kiss on both cheeks, tell you that "you look lovely, dahling", and send you off to have a good weekend!

Feel the vibe!

Some of you (okay, maybe only one or two) have noticed that I’ve become the not-so-good blogger lately. I post less often. I try to read your blogs pretty often, but I’m not very diligent about commenting. So what happened? Did I lose my blog lust? Did I run out of things to say? Did the kids put super glue on the keyboard?

Nay, nay, none of those things happened. Summer happened! And thus, camping and swimming and boating happened. And all of that leads me to the first part of this posting.

Big Brother from Life in the Twilight Zone (actually from Quebec) tagged me with the Good Vibrations meme. So here, in no special order, are five things that get my good vibes going, that make my chakras zing, that put a smile on my face, and make the day worthwhile.

1. Nature. I love doing things outdoors. I’m not a terribly athletic person. Okay, to be honest, I’m not at all athletic! So I’m not out there jogging 20 miles or rock climbing or anything so strenuous. But I do love to be out in the sun, to swim, to go boating. I love to walk at night and look at the moon and the stars. I love a full moon meditation or just sitting in the shade and reading a good book. In fact, if you read my last post, you got a glimpse of my summer. And this is all the fun stuff that has kept me from a lot of blogging lately.

2. My wife. Twenty-two years and I still think she is the best! No matter what we are doing we manage to have a great time doing it together. We talk and laugh a lot. We enjoy spending time together. She is my best friend. And I’m looking forward to at least twenty-two more years of waking up with her every day.

3. My kids. I’ve got three terrific kids. Oh I know, there was the time I tried to sell one of them on ebay. And there was that other time that I put the whole bunch of them out by the curb with the FREE sign. But all parents have those moments, right? But most days I just wouldn’t trade them for anything. Each in their own way they are funny and smart and compassionate and generous and fun to be around. I think I’ll keep ‘em. For now.

4. Books. I love books. Our house is filled with books. We have so many books we ran out of books shelves a long time ago so there are stacks on tables and on the floor. We trade used books. We listen to audio books. I love a good story and love to read. And almost any day that doesn’t seem to be going well can be turned around with a few minutes spent with a great book.

5. My job. I know, not what most people might list as one of their top five. But I love my job. It challenges me. It allows me to learn and to share what I’ve learned with others. I get to work with a lot of great folks. And I get to do a lot of fun, creative things. I enjoy a day off as much as the next person, but I never really mind when it is time to go back to work.

So there are five things that get me into a good vibe. And now I get to pass this along. I think many of you have already done this meme, so I'm only gonna tag a couple of folks. And if they did it and I missed it, I apologize. Feel free to torment me from afar. But for now, let's reach out and tag:

• Rebecca at Circle of the Muses because I love her writing
• Barb at My Crazy Life because she is also a great writer...and maybe we'll get an update on her desire for a tattoo

Okay folks, start vibrating!

DUDE!

My little blog has been recognized as a hot, rockin' blog. Hard to believe, I know. And yet, I present to you my brand new bit of bling - the Awesome Dude Blogger badge!

Wicked cool, eh?

But while I bask in the glow of the shiny new blogger award, let me give props to the man who passed it along to me, cause he really is the awesomest, dudiest blogger around. His daily writings on light bulbs, refrigerators, lawn sprinklers, and other seemingly mundane elements of life are turned into terrific stories every time he sits down at the keyboard. So my shout out of gratitude goes to Jonathan over at Dorky Dad. Thanks, dude!

And now I get the fun of declaring another guy as a totally Awesome Dude Blogger. And that's easy to do. This guy lives just a short drive north of me. And though we've never met, I've gotten to know him quite a bit through his writings. He entertains with his stories of putting his mechanic's kids through Harvard with his car repairs and his secret interest in Rebecca De Mornay in Risky Business. But mostly he shares stories of his two great kids (Peanut and The Champ) and his lovely bride, Mrs. Joe. Plus he is a fan of the Patriots and the Red Sox - what could be more awesome than that?!?

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Above Average Joe. It is an honor to slap this award on him.

And by the way, you can actually choose your bling. You can grab the button above, or you can try the more subtle and dignified style and use this button:


Either way, you also get the chance now to pass along the props and recognize another Awesome Dude Blogger.

Spread the love.

I'm not so weird

It seems like every blogger has been tagged with the "8 Weird Things About Me" meme. And now, my new blogger friend Gretchen over at Quantum Leap has tagged me. And I'm more than happy to fess up to a few oddities about myself, but first I want to give a nod to Gretchen. She is a pretty new blogger - just got started in April. And I'm glad I found her pretty quickly. She is a smart and funny mom of two who shares stories of her day along with some inspirational thoughts. She also happens to be addicted to coffee - or the "elixir of the gods" as she calls it. I can certainly identify with that addiction!

So the first rule of the meme is that I must share eight weird things about myself. I don't think of myself as being very weird, but I'm quite certain those who know me would disagree. But they aren't here, so you have to go with what I come up with!

1. I totally love movies - and rarely ever go. There is nothing that compares with settling into a comfy seat in the theater, popcorn and soda in hand, and enjoying a movie. I love the darkness. I love the previews of coming attractions. I love the stupid trivia questions on the screen before the movie begins. And I love the movies. But I just can't justify spending that much money to watch a movie! For my wife and I to attend one movie, we pay more than a full month of Netflix membership in which time we can easily watch a dozen or so movies. And microwave popcorn is so much less expensive.

2. There is at least some part of my body every day that is hard to feel. Or if I do feel it, it is mostly tingly. Never normal. That part might be a toe. A bunch of toes. Even a whole foot. I first wrote about this last November, and I've had a few doctor visits and tests since then. Nothing is better, nothing is worse. What they call idiopathic neuropathy. That basically means it is something to do with my nerves and they don't have a clue. How comforting.

3. I hate being cold. I don't like to swim in water that is even remotely chilly. I don't really enjoy playing in the snow. I went snow skiing once and decided that was an activity for masochists. I DO NOT LIKE COLD. And yet, I love living in New England. And I think winter is a really beautiful season. I like seeing the snow. I just don't want to go outdoors between Halloween and April Fool's Day.

4. I do my own laundry. Okay, that's not so weird. But I do the laundry for the entire family. And not because I find it somehow therapeutic to do laundry. Nope, not at all. But I have very precise rules about how I like it to be done. I'm very particular about the sorting. I have clearly defined ideas about what gets washed in hot, warm and cold. And what gets dried at high, medium, and low. And then there is the folding and hanging. Definite rules about that. Shirts get hung with the second button from the top being done. And for folding....

Ya know, this is sounding less weird and more obsessive compulsive, so we'll leave the laundry for now. :)

5. I like to sleep with the TV on. Not like a nap on the couch. I mean all night. In bed. Listening to the TV. I drift off to sleep listening to The Colbert Report or some other late night show. If I wake up in the night, I can roll over and go back to sleep listening to a re-run of CSI or Star Trek. And as I wake up in the morning, I can flip over to the morning weather or Mike and Mike on ESPN to kick off my day. Now, some readers may be wondering if my wife has filed for divorce after putting up with this stuff? Nay, dear reader. She is the one who got me hooked on it!

6. I collect quotes. I don't have anything to do with them. I don't put them on my blog. I don't print them out and hang them anywhere. But I love a good quote.

7. I'm very competitive. I love games of all sorts...volleyball, Uno, chess, badminton, tennis, poker, dominoes, etc, etc. And I love to win. Oh sure, I've got three kids so I've had to throw a game of Chutes and Ladders now and then. But not too often. Can't go soft on the kids. They had to learn to step it up or get their Garanimal-covered buttocks kicked.

8. I love rules. I live a rule-governed life. It provides order. Reduces anxiety. Allows for accurate predictions. Which is why, it pains me to break the second rule of this meme. I'm supposed to now tag eight people. I just can't. Not because I don't know eight wonderful and weird bloggers. I've read your blogs. I know who you are! But the problem is, most of you have already done this meme. And there is no way any of you have sixteen weird things to share. Well, okay, you do. And maybe you. But that might be all.

So there ya have it. Eight oddities about me, spread out for public viewing and ridicule. All I ask is that you be gentle.

Look Ma, I'm back!

After a long break from the blog, I am back at the keyboard. I know, I know...the excitement is almost more than you can bear. So I'll try to start with a low-key post so you can ease back into the routine of reading stuff coming out of my corner.

First of all, for those of you who worried that I jumped in my new little red car and rode off into the horizon, no such luck. "Little Red" and I have been busy but not going anywhere quite so exciting.

So what has been going on? What has happened since I last wrote?

Son17 had to have an MRI. This came up rather quickly due to elevated prolactin levels in a blood test. This can be a side effect of his medications, but it can lead to some more serious problems. So the MRI was to make certain that no damage was being done to various brain regions. The results were all fine. Nothing to worry about. But the procedure took most of a day. Son17 definitely does not have the ability to lay still for an hour inside that machine. So they had to give him a general anesthetic. So we had to be there early, have little "pre-procedure" meetings with anesthesiologists, nurses, doctors, etc. Have the actual MRI. Then hang around long enough for him to recover and wobble out to the car.

Son19 turned into Son20. Fascinating how my kids' names change every year, huh?

The school year ended for me. Pardon me while I do the dance of joy one more time.......

Okay, I'm back. And while I work year-round, the summer schedule is much less hectic. Since a large part of what I do is professional development with our staff, the end of the year saw all of my different workshop series coming to a close. In the last three weeks of school I led eight different workshops. I was exhausted!

School also ended for the kids. If you could peek into the other room, you could see them doing the dance of joy, as well. Well, truthfully, they aren't dancing. But I do fear they have become permanently attached to the Game Cube.

Daughter13 graduated middle school, so the end of the year took on a special significance for her. A small graduation ceremony in the morning followed by her first official dance that night. After seeing her head off to the bus every day in jeans and a sweatshirt, she surely looked all grown up in her new dress. And yes, a boy did ask her to the dance. He did not pick her up here...since he is only 13 and can't drive. But he did wait for her out front and escort her through a very nice evening. And Daughter13's report on the evening...the DJ was good, the snacks were good, Justin did get her punch, Justin did dress up even though some boys just wore shorts and a t-shirt, and they didn't kiss, they only hugged.

Last but not least, the opening of the camper. We own a camper that stays parked in a campground year round about 45 minutes from our house. As soon as school ends every year, we open it up, clean it up, and get ready for a summer of camping. My wife and the younger kids will live there much of the summer and I'll alternate sleeping at home and commuting to work from the camper during the weeks and will spend all weekends there. Some people have a summer home. We have a summer bed on wheels. But we love it. And today was the day Son20 and I went down to set up the deck, put up the screen porch, hook up all the utilities, air out the camper, and get it ready for some inside cleaning and fun.

And that, my good blogger friends, is what I've been doing while I was missing from the keyboard. But I've surely missed you! Jocelyn and Winston and Barb and Dorky Dad and May and Rebecca and Wizened and Wendz and Liv and Chelle and thethinker and Sheila and Redneck Mommy and .... well, instead of listing more, I'm going to read! I'm sure I've got a lot of catching up to do!!

Two weeks and counting...

Two weeks since I wrote my last post. I don't think I've ever skipped that long. And why have I been absent from the keyboard. Because it is the end of the school year and I'm going insane!!!

Tomorrow will be the last day of school where I work. And that last couple of weeks have been hellish. Nothing bad. Just more busy than I've ever been in my life. Going in early. Working late. Bringing work home.

My contract requires me to work a year-round schedule, so I don't get summers off. But I will get a few days off prior to summer school. And every moment off will be heavenly.

And Monday will be the final day of school for the kids. And over the past couple of weeks, they have had 17,000 projects and papers and posters to complete. It was unreal. It makes their study for finals seems almost insignificant in terms of how much time they've invested. The projects just demand so much time and effort and work. And they require parental participation. We don't do their work for them. But it still involves support, encouragement, trips to the store for poster board, cotton balls, craft sand, glue sticks, more ink for the printer for all the photos they've printed for posters.

When Monday evening rolls around, there's a cold beer in the fridge with my name on it!

And then I'll get back to writing and visiting your places. Cause I miss ya!

Five More Questions

I have returned from the black hole of periodontal recovery and I'm ready to write once again!

Last month I participated in the Five Question meme with Rebecca from Circle of the Muses. And I really enjoyed writing about topics chosen by someone else. So I decided to do this one more time.

This time the questions come from CS at another tangential thinker. CS's writings are always entertaining and thought-provoking and I knew she would offer up five more good questions. And I was right! CS really looked at some of my postings and challenged me with questions that made me look more deeply at some things I had written about. So here are her questions and my answers:

1) In your very first post, you talked about blogging out of a love of computers and the internet and said, "I'm not really writing to find or entertain a particular audience. I'm writing for my own pleasure. If someone comes along, that's cool. If not, that's okay, too." As you've gained an audience, has your thinking about blogging changed?

Yes, my thinking has changed. I still write primarily for my own enjoyment. I like having a few quiet moments to take a stab at turning some daily event into something a little entertaining. It pushes some creative button for me. But in the beginning, I really didn't think much about comments. Now I do. I don't write to get more comments. My choice of topics probably proves that cause I don't strive for earth-shattering topics. But when I get comments, I love it! It really makes my blog feel more like a bit of a conversation with people. That has allowed me to "get to know" a few bloggers a lot better. That's been a lot of fun. But knowing that some folks are reading really challenges me to at least try to write better. I try to be more creative. I check my spelling. And I really enjoy the conversation aspect of being a blogger.

2) You talked some about your mother's negativity and how she said, "the bible never told me I had to be nice to everyone." Are there good and bad things you've taken from how you were parented which have shaped your own way of being a father?

It would probably be untrue and unfair to say there are no good things from how I was parented that help me be a parent. We are all obviously influenced by so many things. But I could not list one. Perhaps it is because my mom is still alive and often still a conflicted relationship, so finding the good parts still gets a bit lost.

But I did take away a couple of negative things that I've tried hard not to use in my own parenting. Key among those would be a negative, pessimistic point of view about everything. My parents - particularly my mom - looked for the gray lining in every silver cloud. She was always suspicious of everyone. She believed the world was out to get her. People were generally bad. And she passed that along in every interaction that we had. I made all "A's" on my report card...she wanted to know why there weren't all "A+'s". I joined the youth choir at our church...she wanted to know why I didn't volunteer to sing a solo. When I think about growing up, this constant criticism and negative point of view is what I recall most. And what I've really had to struggle with as a parent. It is surprising how something like that can impact my parenting even when I usually have a pretty upbeat view of life. But it does. I can really quickly slip into criticism with my kids. And I battle against that every day.

3) On a related note, now that you are no longer eating exclusively from boxes or cans, what would be your ideal meal? (Because, after all, the mashed potato story in January was the first post I read of yours.)

LOL...well I'm still not the mashed potato expert in our house...but if I'm going to talk about my ideal meal, it would be meal that was cooked by someone else and served to me, so my cooking skills would not be an issue. So what would I eat? I would have to say that shrimp would be somehow involved. I love shrimp. Fried shrimp. Shrimp with pasta. Baked stuffed shrimp. Suddenly I sound like that guy in Forest Gump! But I really do love shrimp. So I would start there...probably shrimp and scallops, some sun dried tomatoes, a nice red sauce spiced up with the red pepper flakes over a bed of angel hair pasta. Steamed asparagus on the side with a bit of butter and salt. Fresh, warm bread on the side. And a glass of some really good white wine. And dessert would probably be a nice slice of cheesecake with a cup of Hawaiian Kona coffee.

4) Are there things you've not yet done that you'd like to accomplish in your lifetime

That's a tough one. I've never had a lot of specific aspirations about accomplishments. Just that word implies some type of achievement. And I've always focused more on just being happy, enjoying life, enjoying my family. I never had goals of being "teacher of the year" or getting lots of promotions or owning my own business. So in that sense, I've accomplished what I wanted because I'm happy and I have a great family. So the only real accomplishment I would like to put a check mark beside would be providing a bit more financial security for my family. Teacher salaries don't lend themselves to lots of savings and investing. So that might be the one real accomplishment I would still like to get to.

But what if the question had just said...things you've not yet done that you would like to do? That changes the tone of the question a bit. And yes, there are many things I would like to do. Probably my biggest wish would be to have the chance to travel more. I would love to go to Europe. London, Paris, Rome. The opportunity to travel to some of these wonderful places would be awesome. And I've just never had that chance. I've been lucky enough to travel through much of the states, but other than a couple of trips up into Canada (which I really enjoyed) and a trip to the Bahamas, I've never been outside the US. So I hope to do that some day.

5) You commented that you'd be turning the idea of friendship and respect over in your head for the rest of the day. What did you come to?

When CS answered a question about friendship, she said the most important thing in a friendship was respect. But she elaborated about her thought process and I left a comment that her writing had left me thinking about the idea of friendship. And what did I think about? Well, respect is crucial in a friendship. As is honesty and loyalty. There are many qualities that are necessary in the development of a true, deep friendship. And I'm not sure that the quality I settled on is so different from CS's. Perhaps at some level it is just semantic differences. But the key quality I think is essential in both the person I'm befriending and in the relationship itself is - integrity. To me, this implies a person who is honest. A person who can be trusted. A person that I can admire and respect because they stand up for their beliefs and principles. But the word doesn't just apply to the person...but also to the relationship. Being in a relationship that has integrity feels as if we both have made a certain commitment...a bond to be honest with each other, to share advice when asked, to support each other, to encourage each other, to share love and compassion toward each other. But I also like that the word integrity means solidarity, togetherness, unity. That is a part of a deep friendship that can't be achieved if the people involved don't have a personal quality of integrity. In this sense, the personal qualities come together to form the qualities of the relationship itself.

It was fun thinking about these five questions! And it was certainly a challenge. Thanks to CS for her great questions. If you've never checked out her blog, pay her a visit. She has some excellent writing and some awesome photos.

And in the spirit of the meme, I will gladly compose questions for others. Leave a comment that says you would like to be interviewed. Or send me an e-mail. Just make sure your e-mail is on your blog or somehow included in your comment so I can send along your questions.

Good Friday!

It is indeed good! What a week it has been. Very busy. So today will be good just because it allows a chance to slow down, have an extra cup of coffee, and relax just a bit.

This week at work was unbelievable. It was a four day week. And yet, it was clear that I still had to get five days worth of work accomplished. I got there early every day. And stayed late a couple of times. And still didn't get quite everything done. Why is it that we can't treat a four day week as just that...a four day week?

The good thing from work this week is that I'm starting to see the results of a series of workshops I've been leading. I've got a group of teachers and clinical staff participating in a 7-part series on Web 2.0 technologies. They've all found good blogs and podcasts to read. They've learned to use iTunes and Bloglines and Google Reader to organize their stuff. And now we've been learning the basics of how to do a little blog. And four of them told me this week that they've decided to take a shot at it! Fantastic! Nothing I'll link to from here cause they are all doing blogs specifically related to their professional interests. But at least they are willing to go for it.

In news other than work stuff, we started the week feeling all nice and spring-like. Rolling up the sleeves on warm afternoons. And then yesterday...SNOW! Looking for 22 degrees tonight and barely getting out of the 30's tomorrow. Just not right!

And you recently read just how challenged I am when it comes to helping Son16 with his algebra homework. Well he had a math test yesterday. He had arranged to get extra help from his math teacher earlier in the week. And he felt pretty prepared. Last night at dinner he reported that he thought he did pretty well. In his words, "I think I did good like an A, a B, or a C. Not bad like a D or F." LOL At least I know where he draws the line between a good grade and a bad grade.

A final note of a more serious nature...

Baron Ectar, The Professor Of All That Is Unnecessary, passed away recently. And I just read about it yesterday. He was a blogger who I enjoyed reading very much. He was a young guy - just 44 - and his passing was very much unexpected. Prayers go out to his family and friends. Even by those of us who only knew him through his writing, he will be missed.

And the winner is...

I've been honored by thethinker at Theory of Thought with the Thinking Blogger Award. The award meme works like this...I get to pass along the award to five bloggers who write blogs that make me think. That will be a pleasure.

But first, a nod to thethinker. It is especially nice to have this meme passed along from her. She is a 16-year-old student with great insight and wit who writes wonderful stories about her life and her iPod addictions. So if you haven't paid her a visit, please do so.

And now to the recognition of five bloggers who make me think. Not an easy task. In the few months that I've been blogging, I've found many terrific writers. A few are listed on my blogroll. But there are many more that I read on an almost daily basis. I read blogs in the US and Canada and England and France and Australia and more. I learn. I laugh. I see beautiful photos from places I'll probably never get to visit. So how do I narrow it down to just five?

The choices were made a little easier by the fact that several of my daily reads have already been honored in this way. So I focused on those who had not yet received the recognition because they also deserve it.

So without any further delay...The Thinking Blogger Award is presented to...

nobody asked...
Winston was an easy choice for his Weird Words series, his political thoughts, and his comments on the art of blogging itself. And being from Tennessee, he can't resist throwing in the occasional cheer for the Volunteers.

Dorky Dad
Jonathan just might be one of the funniest people on the internet. He has a wonderful ability to find humor in the routines of daily life and he shares that with the rest of us. In doing so, he encourages me to view some mundane elements of life with smile on my face. The fact that he is also the "No. 1 Lobster Panties Site On The Internet" just makes it even more fun.

O Mighty Crisis
Jocelyn is an english teacher, a wife, a parent, and resident of the cold state of Minnesota. And she writes about it all. With passion and wit, she shares stories of cold winters, family outings in the snow, the joys of motherhood, the challenges of turning forty, and the trials and tribulations of teaching. And don't even think about using the phrase "begs the question" in a comment!

AbbyNormal
Abby has great stories about being a parent, a member of the PTO/PTA, and a part time special education math and reading teacher. She sees life from both sides of the desk and finds very creative techniques for sharing the stories. Of course her kids are still afraid to go inside the Teachers' Lounge...that mysterious room behind the closed door.

Ruthless In The Suburbs
Ruth lives right here in my home state of Connecticut. She bills herself as a "stay at home mom trying to Do It All". It seems she does...so I'm not sure how she finds time to blog. But she writes nice, long posts that share some of the best moments of her day.

These folks always entertain me. They make me think. They make me enjoy reading blogs.

And now, to meet the requirements of the meme, here are the rules...

1. If you get tagged, create your own post of five blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this place so that people know where the meme is from.
3. Display the award, if you like, linking to the post that you wrote.