This is just wrong!

It's still October!!

Happy Birthday - Five Years After

I wrote my first blog post five years ago. I decided to blog a bit as I was turning 50. It was a time in my life to explore new technologies. And it was a time to be a bit more reflective about my life. Plus everyone who could type was starting a blog.

I wrote my last blog post almost one year ago. But at that time, I had already skipped months at a time over that previous year. By that point in my life, things were insane. Our oldest kid had moved out to go to college and then moved back in. Our second kid - the one with aspergers - was on his way to graduating high school and starting a transition college program. And our youngest was heading into her senior year in high school. Life was just too freaking busy to type.

But today I turn 55. A number that, for some reason, feels old to me. Not sure why this particular number is tough...but it is. All three kids are in college...three different colleges. One lives in his own apartment, one lives in a dorm, and one lives at home. Life is hectic.

But I'm going to try moving back to the blogging world. I feel the need to find time to slow down a few days a week and just write. Maybe to reflect and think about my life. Maybe to get back in touch with friends in the blogging world. And maybe just cause it is fun.

Either way...I'm back. And hopefully I can settle in and be a productive writer once again.

How Did You Do Christmas?

So my last post was a list of some of the ways we do Christmas. And I have to say, for one more year, all that stuff pretty much held true. I had plenty of egg nog. I had my favorite things to eat. I heard all my favorite songs. I ate my favorite foods. And I definitely got the gift I most wanted!

The one thing that turned out to be different? My wife wasn't so hard to buy for this year! And I'll admit, some of that was because she gave me some great ideas on her "wish list". And we even did some shopping together where she purchased some things and I put them under the tree. But I also came up with a fair number of surprises for her - all of which were greatly appreciated.

And it has been a holiday season filled with laughter. Having all three kids in the house, hanging out together, playing games, watching lots of movies - we've just had a lot of fun together. That's not to say three siblings in the house don't bicker a bit. God help me, they do. But it hasn't been too bad. And we've had a lot of fun with them.

It has also been a most relaxing time. This is a year where we've not visited nor been visited by any family. They are all in very different parts of the country this year. So our holiday has been quite, restful, peaceful. No rushing about making sure everything is clean. No preparing extra-special meals for "company". No worries about sleeping in late, going to bed early, taking afternoon naps, or any other aspect of scheduling. So that has been very nice.

All in all, a very good holiday.

And tomorrow evening, just our family and Son1's new girlfriend to ring in the new year. We've got our favorite New Year's Eve foods planned. We'll play some games. Watch a movie. And kiss when the clock strikes midnight.

Here's hoping your holiday and your new year are the best ever!

How do YOU do Christmas?

My blog friend Mrs. Chili over at The Blue Door posted a meme on Monday about the holidays. And as I read her responses, I couldn't help but reflect on traditions around the holidays. We all have so many. And so many of us have the SAME traditions. And yet, we each tweak them just a bit to fit our own personal likes and the needs of our families. Comparing and contrasting seemed like fun. So you can check our her thoughts on the holidays and then see what I had to say on the same topics...

1. Real tree or Artificial?  Believe it or not, we have one of each. The real tree is in the family room and covered with all our favorite old ornaments and kid crafts, etc. And all our colored lights. And that is the tree the presents go underneath. But some years we also put up an artificial tree in the living room with white lights and more formal ornaments. This year...just the real one.
2. Do you like decorating the tree? Parts of it. I always have to put the tree in the stand and get the lights on ahead of time. I don’t love that part. But the ornaments are all done with the whole family and that part is fun.
3. When do you put up the tree? It varies...usually around the second weekend of December. This year, I put the tree in the stand and put on the lights tonight. We'll all put on the ornaments tomorrow evening.
4. When do you take the tree down?  Usually about a week after New Year’s.
5. Do you like eggnog? Oh I do! Most of the folks in my family do not, so when we buy it, I know I’m only sharing with Son1, so that means a lot for me.
6. Ever broken a present right after opening it? I don’t think so.
7 . Hardest person to buy for? My wife. And it is my fault. I put too much pressure on myself to get the perfect gift every time.
8. Easiest person to buy for? Our daughter. She always provides us with a color-coded list with appropriate hyperlinks to web sites, reviews, etc.
9. Do you have a nativity scene? We do.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail. But we have been narrowing our list of who gets them every year. What a chore to do that whole process.
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Underwear. From my mom. And not when I was a kid.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? It’s A Wonderful Life. I know...how predictable.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? As soon as possible after Black Friday is over and those folks go home.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Honestly, not that I can remember.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Thing. Singular. Then I would have to pick my wife’s rouladen. We have that for our Christmas dinner every year. I love it.
16. Have you ever actually eaten fruit cake? Sure. Often as a kid. Not so often as an adult. See, I really do learn as I grow!
17. Favorite Christmas song? Again with the singular! I’m pretty sure I can’t narrow it down to one song so I won’t even try. I’ll just say that I love Christmas music. I love the traditional songs such as Oh Holy Night and White Christmas. Plus I love some of the new stuff by The Roaches, Sara McLaughlin, and others. And I’m warning you, I love to sing along...which isn’t always a pretty thing.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? We’ve been at home for the holidays for a long time now.
19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?  Absolutely.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel on the real tree. When we use the artificial tree, a big red bow.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Both. It works like this. When our kids were very young (in fact, when there was only “kid” without the “s”) we started letting them open one small give on Christmas Eve. We were trying to take the edge off cause he/they would be so excited about the whole thing we were afraid they were going to explode. So one gift the night before.....that we selected cause we wanted to make sure it was a small one....and then all the rest Christmas morning. That tradition is still continued today. And even though two of them are in their 20’s, they would get quite pouty if there was no Christmas Eve gift opening.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?  People who just like to complain about things related to the holidays. Yes, there is more traffic and stores are busy. Relax. We’ll all get home for Christmas.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Oh that’s a tough one. If you were there as we decorated the tree, you would think about half of them are my favorites. I grab one to hang up and suddenly start reminiscing about when we bought it or what I remember about it. But if I have to choose a theme or color...I would have to say I love our more crafty/country style ornaments. The colored balls are fun...but I like the wooden ornaments best.
24. Favorite Christmas dinner? That rouladen I mentioned earlier with mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, a good veggie. And a nice piece of pie for dessert.
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Easy question! I’m am totally wanting to upgrade to an iPhone.

Things Happen That Surprise Me

My wife and I have been having a series of serious talks over the past week. Nothing serious about "us"...just exploring some topics that we both care deeply about. Some of it relates to our processing of grief, some to our spirituality, some to our beliefs about the relationship between pleasure and happiness. As we've gone through these discussions this week, we've both had some "ah ha" moments where we learned new things, came upon a new idea, or gained new perspective from the other.

But we did finish our last conversation late last night with still some questions remaining unanswered and some feelings still lingering without resolution.

Then we went to church this morning. It was a day where our minister had swapped pulpits with another minister in the state - he was at their church and she was at ours. And with a visiting minister, we walked in without any idea what the sermon would be about - no title on the web page, no summary in the monthly newsletter.

As she talked, we were both struck repeatedly by how the things she said related to our conversations. Over and over. We couldn't wait till we got out to the car to just look at each other and go "oh my god!" Several things said summarized some of our thoughts perfectly. Some of what she said expanded our ideas. And some of it gave us new ideas and thoughts that just helped pull it all together.

Coincidence? Synchronicity? Fate? Dumb luck?

I have no idea what really makes things like that happen. But when it does, I can feel myself reacting to the surprise and the pure joy of being in the moment with that kind of experience.

10%

Interesting doing this whole "new things" effort for the year. I'm already about 10% along the way and the attempt to embrace/try/experience 54 new things during the year certainly has had a different impact already than what I had anticipated. I expected sitting down, thinking about things I would like to try, and giving them a shot. And I've done a bit of that and have no doubt I'll continue to try new things based on that approach.

What I did not expect was the awareness of trying things all the time. As I'm paying more attention to what I do each day, I'm aware that I do a lot of little new things all the time. Some are pretty insignificant. But others really do have a bit more impact. And I was never aware of all these things coming into my life.

Some people believe that the more you focus on something and think about something, the more you attract that thing to yourself. Is that it? Am I actually trying even more new things than normal just because it is in my thoughts more now? Or have I always done this but just never paid enough attention?

Either way, it is definitely interesting to be more aware and to enjoy each of those experiences.

More Every Day

Definition of LIBERAL

a : one who is open-minded or not strict in the observance of orthodox, traditional, or established forms or waysb capitalized : a member or supporter of a liberal political partyc : an advocate or adherent of liberalism especially in individual rights

The above comes from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary online. And I'm thinking this is me. In fact, I know I'm liberal, but I'm beginning to think I'm very liberal. Conversations I have with friends and family leave me thinking that I'm not just a little off center....but more that I'm so far away from the center that I don't even see it any more!

Open-minded? Absolutely. Not strict in the observance of established ways. Totally. In many cases, I view "established ways" as code for "resistant to change". In a recent conversation with an old college friend, he was bemoaning the fact that his students (he is a college professor) just did not write very well. Sure, they used complex sentences, decent grammar, well thought out reasoning. But on occasion, they just seemed too casual. In fact, hold on to your hats here, a few of them had even used some text speak in a homework assignment. I know. Horrors. These surely are the end times!

He was surprised when I basically said...."so what?" If they are writing well reasoned papers with complex writing strategies, what's the harm in including some of the casual words that are part of our every day communication? Should school work be devoid of what is real in our lives? Perhaps that kind of thinking is why many kids think of school as irrelevant or "old fashioned" or many of the other complaints kids have about the institution. I'm a teacher. I'm all for standards. But standards can change with the times. 

My friend felt differently.

And yes, I support the liberal party. In truth, my real problem with politics is that the liberal party is just way too conservative! I voted for Obama. And I hear pundits talk about how he has to move to the center to get re-elected. Move to the center? He was smack dab in the center to begin with! How about moving toward some actual, liberal thinking??? For example, it was back in 1972 that the ERA passed both houses of Congress. But has it been ratified yet? Nope. For some strange reason, our country is still threatened by the idea of women being equal! And don't get me started on the rights of gay and lesbian folks to get married. But does the so-called "liberal" party stick up for those kinds of issues? No way.

And in a recent chat with a good friend, I was expressing my dismay that a gentleman in our state was recently sentenced to death for a crime. Yes, the crime he committed was awful. But I simply don't support the idea of killing someone. I mean, that was his crime. He killed someone. And if we view killing as so terrible, then why do we want to do it even more? Plus I know all the political arguments - it costs more to execute a prisoner than the have him spend life in prison. States with the death penalty traditionally have higher rates of capital crimes than those that don't...so clearly it isn't a deterrent. And the US is pretty much the only developed nation that still chooses to kill its citizens when they just don't like what they do.

My friend was horrified. He could I want this terrible person to live??? At some point, I don't even know how to explain myself in the face of that.

And what about those individual rights? Well, the current uproar about TSA and the full body scanners (sometimes referred to as the "porno scanners") and the National Opt-Out Day that may or may not happen tomorrow is the perfect example. No way would I want to be scanned by one of those things. And not because I don't want someone seeing me naked. Go ahead and look, I don't care. But every reputable scientist who has spoken out on the issue says the radiation levels are dangerous. That's good enough for me. And yes, I do care of they see my wife and/or kids naked. And like the guy we've all come to know....I just don't really want those folks touching my junk. Or my wife's private parts. Or my kids. Millions of people fly all over the world every day without going through those screeners or getting groped. And the incidents of disaster are extremely rare. And there is no proof...none at all...that these types of scanners and fondling would have prevented any of the few that have taken place.

They say we NEED these things to protect us from shoe bombers and underwear bombers. But wait a minute. We stopped both those guys. Without any of this nonsense. So why do we suddenly need it now?

And why is it necessary that we give up our basic rights of privacy just so the guys who see terrorists around every corner can scan us and feel us and probe our luggage and make us strip off our shoes and belts and dump everything in our pockets? Is it really necessary? Has anyone ever tried to take down a jumbo jet with a car key? And if not, why do they need to see mine?

Yeah, I'm a liberal. I wear it proudly. But I fear my liberalism is creating a pretty large gap between me and most everyone I know. And sometimes that makes me sad.