Monday, March 19, 2007

Rise and shine! NOT!!!

My alarm went off at the usual time this morning - 5:40AM. I turned it off and rolled over to climb out of bed. And the next thing I was aware of was my wife, fifteen minutes later, nudging me and asking if I had gone back to sleep. Trying to save face, but handicapped by the early hour, the best answer I could give her was "maybe".

I jumped up and ran for the shower. Ran through the shower might be a better description. There was definitely only time to wash the high-priority areas. Everything else had to survive with a quick rinse. I halfway dried off, threw on some jeans and a shirt, and headed downstairs.

I quickly started throwing together my lunch and lunch for Son16. About that time, he wandered in for breakfast. Thank goodness he was on time! But for some odd reason, at nearly 17 years old, he suddenly found the task of locating clean socks beyond his ability. He complained that the socks he had picked out last night were missing. Were those the socks you wore yesterday...and stuffed in your shoes, I asked? Yep...those were the ones. I had stolen those and washed them last night. He felt violated. But together we managed to find clean socks and pull together some breakfast for both of us.

By this time, Daughter13 should have been in the shower. But I heard no water running upstairs. I dashed up the stairs to find her alarm beeping while she slept peacefully in her bed. I yelled gently woke her and ran back downstairs to make some coffee.

Son16 finished breakfast, fed the dog, and headed off to school. Still no daughter. And no wife. And I needed to shave.

Back up the stairs, found Daughter13 still sleeping and this time I really did yell. And took a little glee in watching her leap off the bed in shock.

Down the hall to our room...where I discovered my wife had formed a new Best Friends Forever relationship with her snooze alarm. I politely encouraged her to get up while I tried to shave quickly without undue lacerations.

Back down the stairs where my wife was feeding our daughter. Just in time for Daughter13 to make it to the bus.

Then I dashed out to work, leaving my wife shuffling around the kitchen in her mis-matched jammies looking like a sleep-deprivation study gone wrong.

Driving at a slightly unreasonable speed, I made it to work and fell into the chair at my desk at what could generously be called on time.

Another morning routine successfully complete.

Except...

I forgot to brush my teeth.


35 comments:

Beth said...

oh man, Dragon Breath all day long!

Bardouble29 said...

man I feel your pain. I despise Mondays! I had insomnia last night and sleep was just beyond my grasp! But I made it to work...but early to bed tonight!

Teena said...

Mondays suck! I'd love to work a four day week and have Mondays off.

Thomas said...

My first day back from spring break and even I didn't even bite it that back.

Ass breath is my worst nightmare.
I nearly lost it the day that I forgot a BELT.

Happy freakin monday

TV

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

LOL!

Sorry you had such a rough start to your week EM. Maybe you should think about keeping a spare toothbrush and some toothpaste at work. ;-)

Dorky Dad said...

You forgot to brush your teeth? Oh, man, I was wondering about that smell.

Now I'm going to be thankful for my relatively easy mornings.

mist1 said...

Did you floss?

wendy a said...

I thought the punch line was going to be "Then I realised it was SUNDAY!......" It happened to me once. When I got to the office and found the doors locked, I suddenly realised it was Easter Monday!

Came here from Wendz page. I saw the comment that you are Pagan, but go to the Unitarian Meeting House. My step-dad is the same. I think you two would get along great. He's at a Wicca moot in France at the moment.

wendy a said...

Sorry, Blogger wont let me use links in the comments. Dads page is at uk.geocities.com/g8sum/weblog.html

Chelle said...

OH MAN...that is the worst!! I can wash my whole body....deodorant and perfume, the whole nine yards...but if I forget to brush your teeth....I feel dirty!!

I bet you ate a LOT if mints or chewed a LOT of gum huh? LOL

Jazz said...

Which is exactly why I keep a toothbrush and toothpaste (and even floss!) at work. You just never ever know.

Oh, The Joys said...

Heh. Breath of the MIGHTY STEED!

Jenster said...

LOL! Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed. :o)

radioactive girl said...

People laugh at me all the time, but I carry a toothbrush in my purse/diaper bag just for that reason.

Kati said...

Altoids, Man, Altoids!!!! ;)

Oh, I can so totally understand. This is what makes me very glad that I don't have to be to work before noon on any of my days. I'm just NOT a morning person, and gotta have a couple of hours to actually get moving. And that ever-so-important mug of chai or coffee (depending on the morning).

Glad you made it in time, without any undue lacerations or vehicular problems.

liv said...

sounds like someone has a case of the mondays...

my mornings only exist slightly differently because I pray for my kids to stay asleep as long as possible in the hope that I will be able to roll out of bed around 8:30, greet the sitter and then roll my fat, unshowered ass out the door and off to yoga. hey, it's a job.

Rainbow dreams said...

I hate mornings.... especially Mondays, but that sounds even more chaotic than our house :)

I'd have had to find a toothbrush from somewhere...
hope the rest of the week passes peacefully, Katie

Trish said...

I hate when I forget to brush my teeth...that's why I have mint gum stashed in my purse. Because, really...I don't want to kill anyone that comes near.

Em said...

Just as some of you suggested, a toothbrush and toothpaste were added to my desk drawer today. Can't make that mistake twice! LOL

velvet girl said...

"...shuffling around the kitchen in her mis-matched jammies looking like a sleep-deprivation study gone wrong."

Oh, how I laughed at this! That's me on any given day.

And the end was excellent. That's the worst! I've got toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse. And mint gum. Just in case.

-velvet

Melody said...

Don't you HATE that??? Urgh!

Cyndy said...

I hear ya
I feel ya
I know what you mean!
Hey don't they make those "brush ups" for a good reason now!!!!????

:)

ramblingwoman said...

Wow! I don't think I could get up that early! What time do you start work? I know in the states school starts earlier than here - my children start at 10 to 9!

Forgetting to clean your teeth? Ewwww.....furry mouth all day, and when you smile, bits between your teeth...all you street cred gone!

Above Average Joe said...

Get yourself a coffee from the machine in the breakroom and blame your breath on that. The so-called coffee that comes out of those things tastes & smells like crap.

Diesel said...

Gaahh. That's all I'd be thinking about all day. I think I'd have to go buy a new toothbrush.

Chicky Pea said...

Oh, no! Not the teeth!

Baron Ectar said...

I work with creatures that do not care what I look or smell like - thank God

thethinker said...

I do the same thing that your daughter does! For some reason, I've become immune to my alarm. I really need to get a louder one.

Did you at least have a breath mint with you?

Elle said...

LOL I love the snooze button... I know dh wishes he could form a relationship with it; but alas he goes to work every day. I mostly go by the 3 alarms down the hall.

CSL said...

Maybe you fell back asleep? YOu should insist that you were just resting your eyes. I have more mornings like this than I care to admit.

Dirk_Star said...

After what I went through last night it sounds like you have it pretty easy.

I may never recover from the horrors I experienced...

Jocelyn said...

I love the closing photo.

Your day just made me exhausted and reminded me of why I make all lunches the night before. I can't function in the mornings.

Dave said...

Oh yah... I know exactly what you mean... I have had many a day like that as well. You would think that I would find a way to doing it right. I NEVER find time to have breakfast. Thanks to McDonald's!! :-)

Wizened Wizard said...

Someday - if you're lucky - the kids will be grown and gone, the bliss of retirement will be upon you, and you'll realize you've traded these nasty awakenings and dashes for... wondering what the hell day is this?!? And you'll reminisce fondly (believe it or not) about life back when.

In the meantime, maybe you should all go to bed a bit earlier!

Chucky said...

yeah that sounds like what I go thought every morning. Well not the weekends and not the family.

I wake up 15 min before I have to leave my house.