I've mentioned a few times that Son16 has multiple special needs. And kind folks have ask to learn more. And I've promised to write about it. And I will. But for the moment, just a quickie...
It is always interesting when he has one of those moments where he can share what it feels like to be him. And this morning was one of those moments. A brief insight into a disability that is awash in social skill deficits.
The youth group from our church, of which he participates, was going out for brunch. So before we left the house to get him to the church, I was making sure he had plenty of money and telling him which restaurant they were going to visit. And he asked the question:
"Is this the kind of restaurant where you go to the counter and order or the kind where they come to the table?"
I told him it was not a fast food place. It was a regular restaurant where the person would come to the table to take his order.
He breathed a sigh of relief and said that was good because "he hated confrontations".
I asked him what that meant? What confrontation was he talking about?
He explained that going up to the counter to order felt very "confrontational" to him because he had to go up and get into their space and tell them what he wanted. He felt more comfortable when they came to the table to ask.
Fascinating! The way the simple act of ordering at a fast food restaurant feels so hard to a kid who processes social interactions differently than the rest of us. He has done it plenty of times but I never realized how he felt every time it happened.
That moment of insight, of learning a bit more about how things are for him, is one more small step in the journey to understanding.