Saturday, January 03, 2009

A Series of Unfortunate Events

This afternoon I made a quick trip to the grocery story. Daughter15 and Son21 went along with me. Son21 actually wanted to deposit a check in the bank inside the grocery store and Daughter15 just went along for the ride.

When we entered the store, Daughter15 and I ventured off to find something yummy for dinner while Son21 headed to the bank. But in just moments he was joining us in the produce section. Our first unfortunate event was that we arrived at the store at 4:05. But the bank had closed at 4:00. Oops. His entire reason for going had been thwarted and he was annoyed. Rather than tag along with us, he quickly became bored and impatient and went off on his own.

Daughter15 and I finished gathering things for dinner and headed to check out. We didn't have many items so we chose to go through one of the checkout lines where you scan and bag your own items. Well, who was right in front of us in line? Son21. He had decided to purchase one of those new vitamin water drinks as a way of pacifying his annoyance about the bank.

But moving in behind him in line led to the second unfortunate event. For it seems the woman in front of Son21 was the slowest person in the history of human existence. She had a cart full of groceries and had scanned them all and paid for them. Now they were piled up at the end of the belt waiting to be bagged. Son21 had scanned his one item and paid before she even got started.

Now be patient with me while I share just how she went about this. Cause we surely had to be patient! She opened one bag to hold her groceries. And rather than set the one bag on the end of the belt, she put it inside the cart...which was parked behind her. And then she proceeded to use one hand to slowly and methodically lift one item from the belt, turn, place it carefully in the bag inside her cart, then turn back to the belt for the next item. Never using BOTH hands cause she was holding her gloves in the other hand. So it was one item at a time.

So we waited. And waited. And I wanted to scream "put your gloves down and use both hands and let's move along here!!!". But being the patient person I am (ahem), I did not scream. But I did eventually start scanning our groceries and told Son21 to grab them halfway down the belt, bag them, and we could be on our way. So he did. He sat his vitamin water down, bagged our groceries, and we were ready to leave just as the slow poke in front of us was walking away.

And then we discovered unfortunate event number three. She had apparently bagged and walked away with Son21's vitamin water. He was flabbergasted. Stunned. Disbelieving. And he stood there for several moments repeating "she took my vitamin water...she took my vitamin water...". I had sympathy. I also had a lot of laughter just watching the disbelief on his face. How could someone bagging their groceries in such a slow and deliberate manner make a mistake and take something that wasn't hers??

But she had. And I finally stopped laughing long enough to offer to buy him another. But nope, he was totally fed up with this whole trip and he just wanted to go home. And we heard about his vitamin water all the way home!

And again at dinner.

And after dinner.

And I have the feeling we just might hear about it some more tomorrow. And the next time we go to the grocery store!


Anonymous said...

Aren't some people remarkably clueless?

furiousBall said...

if i was standing behind you, i would have excused myself, leaned over removed one glove from her hands and then beat her senseless with it until i was sated

Debbie said...

I have had to physically restrain myself from helping people like that. Oh the patience it takes. I am over 21 (way over, but let's not go there) but I can feel his frustration.

J said...

You have a lot more patience than I do. I wouldn't have been able to resist the urge to yell at her.

EsLocura said...

Oh I would have lost it, patience is a virtue I have little of, if it were me, I'd be ranting about my water for months to come.

Mrs. Chili said...

Ugh. I despise the grocery store (or anyplace, really, where I have to have direct contact with the general public).

Oh! You'll love this! It's a few days before Christmas and nine-year-old Beanie and I are in the grocery store. At the end of the aisle we're in are three people, two of them with carts, chatting. Completely oblivious to us and the fact that they're blocking the way out of the aisle. So I lean over and say, without a HINT of anything nasty in my voice, "Excuse me; could we get by, please?" One woman turns around and says "Well, MERRY CHRISTMAS to you, too! A little PATIENCE might be nice." I was floored. I never do such a thing in front of my children, but once the woman was out of the way, I called her a bitch.

dizzblnd said...

See... I would have said, "Here let me help you. There are a lot of people behind you. Since I just scanned paid for and bagged all of my things AND was 2 people behind you, I have some free time" OK.. the sarcasm would have been in my head but oh well.

Leave it to a brooding male to make a simple trip so miserable. Hopefully he gets over it soon, if not, go get him a baby pacifier. LOL

Thanks for playing my Mad Lib ;)

Cocotte said...

I'm surprised your son didn't chase the woman down in the parking lot. I would have!

I hate those self-checkout things. It either won't accept my dollar bills or I leave something behind. Hurrying through is just never an option.

Mama Mara said...

Your remarkable restraint will be repaid somehow. Perhaps when you're 90 years old and moving at a snail's pace, you'll be fortunate enough not to have furiousBall behind you in line, and you won't be beaten senseless by a piece of your own clothing.

Poor Son21, though. It wasn't just water lost, it was a little piece of his belief in human decency. Had I been behind you in line, I'd have bought him his vitamin water. Tell him we're not all horrible out there.

whimsical brainpan said...

It sounds like you and you Son suffer from the same affliction (curse?) that I do.

Any line that I get in will automatically become the slowest. I must admit that no one has ever walked off with my purchase before though.

Anonymous said...

I think that same person frequents my grocery store too *aaarrgghh*

Melody said...

Oh it is a wonder Son21 didn't go after the woman and get his water back - I know I would have! (Or maybe you should have as it would save you hearing about "she took my water", morning, noon and night! Lol!!)

People annoy me. Full Stop.

Tanya @ Teenautism said...

Tell Son21 that he now has a great story to tell all his friends.

"She was holding her gloves in the other hand." Oh, it doesn't get any better than that. Except the part about the vitamin water. Ha!

Jazz said...

What furiousball said. You are a saint.

Jill said...

I once got stuck in one of those self-service lines behind a guy with an enormous cartload of groceries who was letting his two small children take turns scanning the items. And it was a "ten items or less" line. I thought my head was going to explode. I settled for just giving him mean looks. Which he probably didn't notice.

Anonymous said...

Can you leave him home the next time you go to the grocery store? :-) Yes, some days I have no patience with people like slow-bagger. I never act inappropriately but I generally mumble to myself all the way to the car.

Gnightgirl said...

Aurgh, there should be some rules posted at those self-scans. I stood behind a lady that got a phone call and left everyone standing behind her while she rested her butt on the scanner before finishing up her chores. FINALLY someone she knew walked up behind her and told her to hurry UP.

People are nuts. But you sure put a hilarious spin on this.