Monday, October 01, 2007

Work, Retreat, Breaking & Entering

Ten days since my last post! I've been around to visit just a few of you in that time, but not many. So what has kept me away?

Work. Things have just been crazy at work. Going in early. Staying late. Not even time to visit a couple of blogs on my lunch break. Why so busy? My assistant has been out for almost a week with some viral/plague/influenza/ebola thing. Apparently it is going around as numerous staff have been out. A few tried to show up to work, but quickly gave up and went back home to lie on their couch and die. For those who merely coughed up a lung but avoided the Grim Reaper, they are slowly returning to work. My assistant made it back today, but going up a flight of stairs nearly pushed him over into the great beyond.

Retreat. I've mentioned before that I'm on the Policy Board for our church. And this past weekend was our leadership retreat. A couple of days of workshops ranging from really good to "can I kill myself now?" What made it a retreat and not just a workshop? Cause we went somewhere else. We retreated. We retreated all the way to a neighboring town and had our meetings in their church. A long weekend, but not bad.

Breaking & Entering. Let me start by saying I didn't mean to break and enter. I just meant to enter. I was the poor sap in charge of breakfast on Saturday morning for our retreat. So on Friday night, the key was passed over to me so that I could arrive early and get the coffee going. Which is exactly what I did. I unlocked the door, picked up my bags of bagels and danish and coffee supplies, and got about ten steps inside the building when the loudest alarm I've ever heard started to blare. Needless to say, I was surprised! No one had told us there was an alarm!! As I stood frozen in place, wondering what to do, a recorded voice began screaming, even louder than the alarm. I didn't stand around long enough to commit the recording to memory, but it went something like...

EMERGENCY BURGLAR ALERT!!! YOU HAVE ENTERED A PROTECTED AREA!!! PLEASE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!!! EMERGENCY BURGLAR ALERT!!! YOU HAVE ENTERED A PROTECTED AREA!!! PLEASE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!!! EMERGENCY BURGLAR ALERT!!! YOU HAVE ENTERED A PROTECTED AREA!!! PLEASE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!!!


You get the idea. Loud and intimidating.

I backed out of the building, locked the door, and waited for the police to arrive - wondering if the fact that I had a key to the building would protect me from incarceration. I had no phone number to contact anyone from that church. And no one else from my church had arrived yet.

But no cops ever showed up. And eventually the alarm stopped. And when confronted with the possibility of facing multiple indictments of breaking and entering versus facing church folk with no coffee to drink, I decided to try it again.

No problem. No alarm. Apparently it was on some sort of timer and the timer now viewed me as "friend" rather than "foe" because I was coming in the door at the right time. So the coffee got made. I got a couple of extra gray hairs. And a very long and tiring week came to an end.

12 comments:

Ruth Dynamite said...

Those alarms make me shudder. I think everyone has been really tied up these past few weeks. Maybe it's a seasonal right of passage?

Glad you had a little "retreat" from it all.

Mama P said...

I have that same alarm for my room when my husband I and I are having sex and I don't want toddlers prying.

Gretchen said...

Just a day in the life, right, Em? :)

Jill said...

Maybe it was just the Almighty making sure that you really wanted to be there. :)

Redneck Mommy said...

I'm giggling at the thought of you, frozen with fear and confusion when the alarm went off.

When I managed a movie theatre we had a similar alarm.

Once I accidentally triggered it, because I didn't get to the alarm panel quick enough.

I just about wet my pants.

Was that an over share? Snicker.

Joeprah said...

Those alarms are hella loud. I woulda dropped those bagels and went back to bed.

Foreigner by Default said...

I feel deprived now.

Never set off the alarm in my entire life :( And I've been around a while!

Does it count when the security gates in the shop start beeping? Cause that's happened to me alright!

SzélsőFa said...

Last week, in our neighbourhood an alarm went off and was on ALL DAY LONG. At 8 pm my husband called the police about the potential outcomes of breaking that alarm box with an axe.
He decided to call the security system instead (the one that protected that house in question) and they somehow managed to take off the voice. The sad thing is that this situation keeps recurring in every 2-3 months. With the very same house.
The owners are rarely at home so we don't have much chance to talk to them.

Trish said...

Nothing gets the adrenaline going like tripping a fire alarm. So did you even NEED a coffee after that?

Ropinator said...

I am not a Doctor and I am not planning to be but I really doubt that your assistant got plague.

A said...

I dunno, I had it last week and am still recovering. Home sick from work Tuesday AND Friday. Home from all evening stuff, too. Pretty sure it was the Plague. You managed to avoid it, Em? Luck buggar!

We have an alarm like that at our church, well it's loud, but doesn't yell or anything. Had to get it since we had a couple of break ins and some people hiding over night. Sad state, hmm? Perhaps if more of the would-be burglars actually went to church, fewer alarms would be needed?

I have a retreat in a couple of weeks. I'm really looking forward to it! Hopefully no alarms!

Winston said...

Been wondering what was going on with you. Now we know. If they finally catch up to you and you need bail money, see if the gestapo will let you blog it and we'll take up a collection.