Notes From My Corner

Getting ready

2011-11-28T09:37:00.001-05:00

Getting ready for Christmas is a lot of work. And the one task that always stresses me is the tree. But it was done today. Fast. Easy. Very nice.

So we had this little storm...

2011-11-12T09:14:00.001-05:00

We were out of town on the day it began. Two weeks ago today. We were at the campground where we park our camper year-round. And it was the day we were there closing up for the winter season. It was a brisk day, cloudy, with a forecast for some small bits of snow late in the afternoon.

However, the forecast was changing. There was a chance for more than "small bits'. Now they were talking maybe 6 inches or so where we live. That is unheard of for an October snow. Frankly, any snow in October is unusual.

And we knew it might be a bit more than we anticipated when the snow began while we were still at the camper. It wasn't "late afternoon". It was barely noon! We finished and up and started for home. A typical drive of about one hour.

Double that. A long, slow drive as heavy snow covered the roads. So of course, we got home as quickly as possible - a decision that would haunt us later.

It snowed all afternoon. It snowed all night. And we woke up on Sunday to a beautiful day, blue sky, and about 9 inches of snow on the ground. So now I would at least have to shovel cause the kids would be coming the next day for Halloween. All the little ghoulies and goblins hunting for Snickers and Sour Patch Kids. But it was early morning...so I settled in to watch some pregame shows for the football games that afternoon.

And promptly at 10AM...under clear skies...our power went out.

The Patriots weren't playing till 4PM, so I figured it would be back by then. I bundled up a bit and went to shovel. And the reality started to hit. It was heavy, wet snow. HEAVY. Looking up and down our street, trees were down. Branches were down. A large tree in our front yard had split almost in half and was blocking the sidewalk and part of the road.

I shoveled. We shoveled. I moved branches. I cut branches that were too big to move into smaller pieces so I could move them. The neighbors even came to help clear the branch blocking part of the street. We all thought it was a pain in the ass to deal with such an early snow this way...but we just didn't know what was coming.

There was no power for football. Or dinner. Or hot water for showers. Or heat...as the nighttime temps fell below freezing and we huddled around our fireplace. And by the time we awoke on Monday, the forecast for getting power back was....the next Sunday!!!

And that was when it returned. We got power back 174.5 hours after it went off.

We became like nomads. Getting up every morning and planning our day around three things - getting food, getting showers, finding an electrical outlet to charge our phones. And we weren't alone. Hundreds of folks piled into the high school for showers and charging. Every restaurant had power strips at every outlet and they would take your phones and charge them in the kitchen when all the other outlets were full. Starbucks had coffee...but no working registers. So they just gave the coffee away for free.

And every night, we huddled in the dark near the fireplace. Played games. Talked. Read with our little battery powered reading light.

It was a LONG week. L - O - N - G.

And then it ended. And oddly, there are a few things we found that we missed. We missed the long dark nights of just sitting and talking. We missed playing family games to pass the time. Perhaps we'll do more of that in the future.

But I can go the rest of my days without showering in the high school locker room again...or begging for a table by an outlet at a restaurant.

This is just wrong!

2011-10-29T15:17:00.001-04:00

It's still October!!

Happy Birthday - Five Years After

2011-10-27T20:33:00.001-04:00

I wrote my first blog post five years ago. I decided to blog a bit as I was turning 50. It was a time in my life to explore new technologies. And it was a time to be a bit more reflective about my life. Plus everyone who could type was starting a blog.

I wrote my last blog post almost one year ago. But at that time, I had already skipped months at a time over that previous year. By that point in my life, things were insane. Our oldest kid had moved out to go to college and then moved back in. Our second kid - the one with aspergers - was on his way to graduating high school and starting a transition college program. And our youngest was heading into her senior year in high school. Life was just too freaking busy to type.

But today I turn 55. A number that, for some reason, feels old to me. Not sure why this particular number is tough...but it is. All three kids are in college...three different colleges. One lives in his own apartment, one lives in a dorm, and one lives at home. Life is hectic.

But I'm going to try moving back to the blogging world. I feel the need to find time to slow down a few days a week and just write. Maybe to reflect and think about my life. Maybe to get back in touch with friends in the blogging world. And maybe just cause it is fun.

Either way...I'm back. And hopefully I can settle in and be a productive writer once again.

How Did You Do Christmas?

2010-12-30T21:44:00.000-05:00

So my last post was a list of some of the ways we do Christmas. And I have to say, for one more year, all that stuff pretty much held true. I had plenty of egg nog. I had my favorite things to eat. I heard all my favorite songs. I ate my favorite foods. And I definitely got the gift I most wanted!

The one thing that turned out to be different? My wife wasn't so hard to buy for this year! And I'll admit, some of that was because she gave me some great ideas on her "wish list". And we even did some shopping together where she purchased some things and I put them under the tree. But I also came up with a fair number of surprises for her - all of which were greatly appreciated.

And it has been a holiday season filled with laughter. Having all three kids in the house, hanging out together, playing games, watching lots of movies - we've just had a lot of fun together. That's not to say three siblings in the house don't bicker a bit. God help me, they do. But it hasn't been too bad. And we've had a lot of fun with them.

It has also been a most relaxing time. This is a year where we've not visited nor been visited by any family. They are all in very different parts of the country this year. So our holiday has been quite, restful, peaceful. No rushing about making sure everything is clean. No preparing extra-special meals for "company". No worries about sleeping in late, going to bed early, taking afternoon naps, or any other aspect of scheduling. So that has been very nice.

All in all, a very good holiday.

And tomorrow evening, just our family and Son1's new girlfriend to ring in the new year. We've got our favorite New Year's Eve foods planned. We'll play some games. Watch a movie. And kiss when the clock strikes midnight.

Here's hoping your holiday and your new year are the best ever!

How do YOU do Christmas?

2010-12-07T23:09:00.001-05:00

My blog friend Mrs. Chili over at The Blue Door posted a meme on Monday about the holidays. And as I read her responses, I couldn't help but reflect on traditions around the holidays. We all have so many. And so many of us have the SAME traditions. And yet, we each tweak them just a bit to fit our own personal likes and the needs of our families. Comparing and contrasting seemed like fun. So you can check our her thoughts on the holidays and then see what I had to say on the same topics...

1. Real tree or Artificial? Believe it or not, we have one of each. The real tree is in the family room and covered with all our favorite old ornaments and kid crafts, etc. And all our colored lights. And that is the tree the presents go underneath. But some years we also put up an artificial tree in the living room with white lights and more formal ornaments. This year...just the real one.
2. Do you like decorating the tree? Parts of it. I always have to put the tree in the stand and get the lights on ahead of time. I don’t love that part. But the ornaments are all done with the whole family and that part is fun.
3. When do you put up the tree? It varies...usually around the second weekend of December. This year, I put the tree in the stand and put on the lights tonight. We'll all put on the ornaments tomorrow evening.
4. When do you take the tree down? Usually about a week after New Year’s.
5. Do you like eggnog? Oh I do! Most of the folks in my family do not, so when we buy it, I know I’m only sharing with Son1, so that means a lot for me.
6. Ever broken a present right after opening it? I don’t think so.
7 . Hardest person to buy for? My wife. And it is my fault. I put too much pressure on myself to get the perfect gift every time.
8. Easiest person to buy for? Our daughter. She always provides us with a color-coded list with appropriate hyperlinks to web sites, reviews, etc.
9. Do you have a nativity scene? We do.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail. But we have been narrowing our list of who gets them every year. What a chore to do that whole process.
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Underwear. From my mom. And not when I was a kid.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? It’s A Wonderful Life. I know...how predictable.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? As soon as possible after Black Friday is over and those folks go home.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Honestly, not that I can remember.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Thing. Singular. Then I would have to pick my wife’s rouladen. We have that for our Christmas dinner every year. I love it.
16. Have you ever actually eaten fruit cake? Sure. Often as a kid. Not so often as an adult. See, I really do learn as I grow!
17. Favorite Christmas song? Again with the singular! I’m pretty sure I can’t narrow it down to one song so I won’t even try. I’ll just say that I love Christmas music. I love the traditional songs such as Oh Holy Night and White Christmas. Plus I love some of the new stuff by The Roaches, Sara McLaughlin, and others. And I’m warning you, I love to sing along...which isn’t always a pretty thing.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? We’ve been at home for the holidays for a long time now.
19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Absolutely.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel on the real tree. When we use the artificial tree, a big red bow.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Both. It works like this. When our kids were very young (in fact, when there was only “kid” without the “s”) we started letting them open one small give on Christmas Eve. We were trying to take the edge off cause he/they would be so excited about the whole thing we were afraid they were going to explode. So one gift the night before.....that we selected cause we wanted to make sure it was a small one....and then all the rest Christmas morning. That tradition is still continued today. And even though two of them are in their 20’s, they would get quite pouty if there was no Christmas Eve gift opening.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? People who just like to complain about things related to the holidays. Yes, there is more traffic and stores are busy. Relax. We’ll all get home for Christmas.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Oh that’s a tough one. If you were there as we decorated the tree, you would think about half of them are my favorites. I grab one to hang up and suddenly start reminiscing about when we bought it or what I remember about it. But if I have to choose a theme or color...I would have to say I love our more crafty/country style ornaments. The colored balls are fun...but I like the wooden ornaments best.
24. Favorite Christmas dinner? That rouladen I mentioned earlier with mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, a good veggie. And a nice piece of pie for dessert.
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Easy question! I’m am totally wanting to upgrade to an iPhone.

Things Happen That Surprise Me

2010-12-05T18:35:00.000-05:00

My wife and I have been having a series of serious talks over the past week. Nothing serious about "us"...just exploring some topics that we both care deeply about. Some of it relates to our processing of grief, some to our spirituality, some to our beliefs about the relationship between pleasure and happiness. As we've gone through these discussions this week, we've both had some "ah ha" moments where we learned new things, came upon a new idea, or gained new perspective from the other.

But we did finish our last conversation late last night with still some questions remaining unanswered and some feelings still lingering without resolution.

Then we went to church this morning. It was a day where our minister had swapped pulpits with another minister in the state - he was at their church and she was at ours. And with a visiting minister, we walked in without any idea what the sermon would be about - no title on the web page, no summary in the monthly newsletter.

As she talked, we were both struck repeatedly by how the things she said related to our conversations. Over and over. We couldn't wait till we got out to the car to just look at each other and go "oh my god!" Several things said summarized some of our thoughts perfectly. Some of what she said expanded our ideas. And some of it gave us new ideas and thoughts that just helped pull it all together.

Coincidence? Synchronicity? Fate? Dumb luck?

I have no idea what really makes things like that happen. But when it does, I can feel myself reacting to the surprise and the pure joy of being in the moment with that kind of experience.

10%

2010-11-26T19:30:00.001-05:00

Interesting doing this whole "new things" effort for the year. I'm already about 10% along the way and the attempt to embrace/try/experience 54 new things during the year certainly has had a different impact already than what I had anticipated. I expected sitting down, thinking about things I would like to try, and giving them a shot. And I've done a bit of that and have no doubt I'll continue to try new things based on that approach.

What I did not expect was the awareness of trying things all the time. As I'm paying more attention to what I do each day, I'm aware that I do a lot of little new things all the time. Some are pretty insignificant. But others really do have a bit more impact. And I was never aware of all these things coming into my life.

Some people believe that the more you focus on something and think about something, the more you attract that thing to yourself. Is that it? Am I actually trying even more new things than normal just because it is in my thoughts more now? Or have I always done this but just never paid enough attention?

Either way, it is definitely interesting to be more aware and to enjoy each of those experiences.

More Every Day

2010-11-23T22:15:00.000-05:00

Definition of LIBERAL

a : one who is open-minded or not strict in the observance of orthodox, traditional, or established forms or waysb capitalized : a member or supporter of a liberal political partyc : an advocate or adherent of liberalism especially in individual rights

The above comes from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary online. And I'm thinking this is me. In fact, I know I'm liberal, but I'm beginning to think I'm very liberal. Conversations I have with friends and family leave me thinking that I'm not just a little off center....but more that I'm so far away from the center that I don't even see it any more!

Open-minded? Absolutely. Not strict in the observance of established ways. Totally. In many cases, I view "established ways" as code for "resistant to change". In a recent conversation with an old college friend, he was bemoaning the fact that his students (he is a college professor) just did not write very well. Sure, they used complex sentences, decent grammar, well thought out reasoning. But on occasion, they just seemed too casual. In fact, hold on to your hats here, a few of them had even used some text speak in a homework assignment. I know. Horrors. These surely are the end times!

He was surprised when I basically said...."so what?" If they are writing well reasoned papers with complex writing strategies, what's the harm in including some of the casual words that are part of our every day communication? Should school work be devoid of what is real in our lives? Perhaps that kind of thinking is why many kids think of school as irrelevant or "old fashioned" or many of the other complaints kids have about the institution. I'm a teacher. I'm all for standards. But standards can change with the times.

My friend felt differently.

And yes, I support the liberal party. In truth, my real problem with politics is that the liberal party is just way too conservative! I voted for Obama. And I hear pundits talk about how he has to move to the center to get re-elected. Move to the center? He was smack dab in the center to begin with! How about moving toward some actual, liberal thinking??? For example, it was back in 1972 that the ERA passed both houses of Congress. But has it been ratified yet? Nope. For some strange reason, our country is still threatened by the idea of women being equal! And don't get me started on the rights of gay and lesbian folks to get married. But does the so-called "liberal" party stick up for those kinds of issues? No way.

And in a recent chat with a good friend, I was expressing my dismay that a gentleman in our state was recently sentenced to death for a crime. Yes, the crime he committed was awful. But I simply don't support the idea of killing someone. I mean, that was his crime. He killed someone. And if we view killing as so terrible, then why do we want to do it even more? Plus I know all the political arguments - it costs more to execute a prisoner than the have him spend life in prison. States with the death penalty traditionally have higher rates of capital crimes than those that don't...so clearly it isn't a deterrent. And the US is pretty much the only developed nation that still chooses to kill its citizens when they just don't like what they do.

My friend was horrified. He could I want this terrible person to live??? At some point, I don't even know how to explain myself in the face of that.

And what about those individual rights? Well, the current uproar about TSA and the full body scanners (sometimes referred to as the "porno scanners") and the National Opt-Out Day that may or may not happen tomorrow is the perfect example. No way would I want to be scanned by one of those things. And not because I don't want someone seeing me naked. Go ahead and look, I don't care. But every reputable scientist who has spoken out on the issue says the radiation levels are dangerous. That's good enough for me. And yes, I do care of they see my wife and/or kids naked. And like the guy we've all come to know....I just don't really want those folks touching my junk. Or my wife's private parts. Or my kids. Millions of people fly all over the world every day without going through those screeners or getting groped. And the incidents of disaster are extremely rare. And there is no proof...none at all...that these types of scanners and fondling would have prevented any of the few that have taken place.

They say we NEED these things to protect us from shoe bombers and underwear bombers. But wait a minute. We stopped both those guys. Without any of this nonsense. So why do we suddenly need it now?

And why is it necessary that we give up our basic rights of privacy just so the guys who see terrorists around every corner can scan us and feel us and probe our luggage and make us strip off our shoes and belts and dump everything in our pockets? Is it really necessary? Has anyone ever tried to take down a jumbo jet with a car key? And if not, why do they need to see mine?

Yeah, I'm a liberal. I wear it proudly. But I fear my liberalism is creating a pretty large gap between me and most everyone I know. And sometimes that makes me sad.

What would you do?

2010-11-07T22:38:00.000-05:00

Today I pulled out a large box that was part of what ended up in our house after my mom passed away. And yes, I know, she passed away many months ago, so your first question can rightfully be...why are you just now going through those boxes? Well, lots of reasons.

There are so many boxes and so many things that the task is overwhelming. I don't mind admitting that I'm intimidated by the task that lies before me. There is so much to go through and I have no idea what to do with all that I uncover. The work we did in sorting and packing her house was just the beginning.

The other major reason for a delay...it is hard emotionally. After her death, we worked hard to pack up the things in her house and move them here. That alone was a task that was so difficult due to the distance involved and the emotions tangled up in the process.

So here I am, 21 months later, pulling out a large Rubbermaid container and starting through it. I knew this was a container that held photos. In fact, as I worked my way through it, it had more than 20 photo albums inside along with a fairly large pile of photos that were just tossed in the box. Twenty albums....hundreds of photos. Some of them are labeled...many are not. Some are people I know...some are not. Some are not people in my family, but seem to be friends of my parents. Others are family members that I don't know and, without any labels, I probably will never identify. And then, for some reason, there are multiple copies of some photos...the same photo showing up in different photo albums. No logic in that at all.

I labeled books as best as I could. But there are still hundreds of photos that leave me at a loss. What to do? What do you do with photos that you just can't identify? If they seem like acquaintances of my parents....easy choice. I can toss those. No one will ever want to see those again. But what about all the rest? All the photos they have of our kids...those are photos that we also have. Do I need multiple copies of each? And what about really old photos of family? Some are very old and probably would be meaningful if I had any idea who they were. But I don't. They are just old photos with old people.

I'm only one box in...with so many more to go. And I'm already at a loss.

New Things

2010-11-01T22:29:00.000-04:00

So I've made my first choice for my "new things" effort. An attempt to motivate and keep myself inspired and focused on positive messages.

It also resulted in the creation of one more blog...but I promised not to keep making up blogs. Google needs the server space for other people. But I did want to keep a record of what I've done, so you'll see one more link in the right column under The Rest of Me. I'm calling it Messages for Me.

I'm Troubled By Halloween - Part 2

2010-10-30T10:34:00.000-04:00

So just in case you didn't get enough of my ramblings in my post yesterday, let's revisit my troubles with Halloween. This time, I want to go to the other end of the spectrum. We talked enough about the events that trouble me due to their violence, their intensity, and their overt attempts at scaring people into going to church.

Now we go way over to the most family friendly of the Halloween activities....the Trunk or Treat. Again, this is an event most often sponsored by a church group, but in some cases, other community organizations have promoted such an activity. The focus of the activity, depending on who you listen to, is to "provide a safe family environment for trick or treaters" or to be an "excellent outreach event" for a church.

There is nothing scary about a Trunk or Treat. In fact, many of them even have costume guidelines to make sure that all the kids come dressed as a super hero or a fairy but not Dracula or a ghost. And that seems to be one key part of this...to make a Halloween event that is not frightening.

I've got no problem with that. Little kids often need to avoid things that may seem frightening.

But this isn't really about the costume. I'm convinced, this is about sanitizing an event that seems a bit too non-Christian while segregating the church folks from the rest of their community. I mean, I know some people in the US live in neighborhoods that are just not safe. No one would go out and walk around at night. I get that. But I wonder if those are the places where Trunk or Treats are really taking place? Or does this mostly happen in nice middle and upper-middle class neighborhoods where the kids could safely trick or treat on well-lit sidewalks and among welcoming homes?

I also have no problem with a church or any other organization wanting to host their own activities as a form of building their own community. Certainly many groups have fall festivals, apple picking, trips to corn mazes, etc. Those are all excellent group activities.

But what happens when it becomes a way to exclude participation in their home neighborhood?

Many Trunk or Treaters aren't doing this as an extra fun event for their kids...they are doing as the ONLY event for their kids. They gather in a parking lot, pass out candy just to the kids who are members of their group, and then go home and keep the lights out on Halloween night....turning away all the other children in their community.

Is that really the kind of neighborhood we want? One where, in the guise of making Halloween safe, some of our most concerned parents actually turn away from their neighbors? If we want our sidewalks and neighborhoods to be safe on Halloween, shouldn't those concerned parents be the most visible presence walking about on that evening? Isn't that how we build a community and neighborhood...by participating, by being active, by actually showing up? I'm just not sure how we help encourage a safe Halloween if people keep their kids home on that night and become unwelcoming to other kids.

We are fortunate to live in a large neighborhood with plenty of sidewalks, lots of street lights, and homes that will have their porch lights on. Some folks will just pass out the candy while others will enjoy decorating with jack-o-lanterns, a scarecrow or two, the occasional scary sound effects tape, and even one neighbor who annually erects an entire graveyard in his front yard, complete with friends who dress up and rise from the coffins to greet kids. And yes, they are very kid-friendly with lookouts to alert them so the scary-fun stuff happens with older kids (and the adults who enjoy dropping by!) while the non-scary-fun stuff happens with younger kids.

Our sidewalks will be crowded. People will drive in from surrounding areas where walking is quite as safe. Our porch light will be on. And we have plenty of 3 Musketeers, Pixie Stix, M&M's and Kit Kat bars for everyone. So feel free to drop by. We love seeing everyone in their costumes...as well as those teenagers who drop by at the end of the night looking just a bit embarrassed by still hoping for a Reese's and enjoying a holiday that they don't want to ever outgrow.

We'll keep the light on for you.

I'm Troubled By Halloween - Part 1

2010-10-29T21:04:00.001-04:00

Let me set the record straight right up front. I love Halloween. I had fun as a kid, dressing in my costume and racing through the neighborhood gathering up the goodies. I had fun as a teenager going to Halloween parties. And I've had the most fun on Halloween as I walked through our neighborhood with our kids...holding their hand in the dark and then just holding the flashlight when they were too old to want to hold hands. I've prompted them to ring the bell and say "trick or treat". And of course, I prompted them to say "thank you" once the loot had been delivered. I've even participated in some Samhain rituals in pagan celebration of the season. So as you can see, I've got no intrinsic problem with the holiday.

But I am troubled by how it has been co-opted by groups for their own purposes. In the 90's we were treated to Hell Houses - church sponsored horror shows designed the scare the crap out of people with their interpretation of all the evils in the world such as abortion and drinking. Talk about taking the fun out of a haunted house...these folks knew just how to suck all the joy out of a holiday and turn it into a sledgehammer-to-the-head approach to winning people over to their view of Christianity.

Eventually, Hell Houses became a bit too gruesome and controversial so a newer, milder version of Hell Houses hit the scene. These new guided tours are known as Judgement House, a different dramatic presentation about the "truth of people's choices". In fact, Judgement House (the two "e's" are their idea, not mine) has been around since the early 80's, but seemed to really grow in popularity in the early part of this decade as Hell Houses faded from popularity.

Don't get me wrong. I've got nothing against religious groups sharing their beliefs and values. But the Hell House movement was extreme. However, it was not the most extreme horror show on this little tour.

Oh no, that honor goes to the Tribulation Trail. Located in the woods of southern Georgia, the Tribulation Trail is a 90-minute walk through the woods sponsored by the Mount Vernon Baptist Church. It bills itself as a "walk through drama portraying the end of times". What it really is, as reported by one participant, is an "intensely violent rendition of standard end-times scenarios". Six of the twelve scenes involve executions including a teenager watching his young sister beaten to death. Participants are "guided" from scene to scene by men and teenage boys carrying automatic rifles. Yet, the official website for the Tribulation Trail says it is fine for kids 10 years of age and older. And perhaps the most frightening thing of all...25,000 people a year buy tickets and take the walk and this year it is sold out.

So someone explain this to me. When so many religious groups are wanting to avoid Halloween because it isn't safe or "kid friendly"...costumes are too scary...there is too much "evil" associated with it...etc...etc...how is it that religious groups are also bringing us some of the most revolting moments of Halloween horror? Can these types of events really convert people? Or is it merely a faith-promoting tool for the believers?

I understand their purpose. I'm just very confused by their tactics. Confused and appalled. I'm very clear that these activities do not represent my values. And I'm clear that I don't believe this is what Halloween is all about...whether you believe in the spirituality of Samhain, Day of the Dead, or just want a good Snickers.

The Old Dog Tries Some New Tricks

2010-10-27T22:03:00.001-04:00

Way back when I started this blog, I wrote about transitions. Go ahead...check it out. I'll wait.

Welcome back! So that was four years ago. Today I turn 54. And I find myself working through a whole new set of transitions.

Not about being old. I've got no real problem with turning 54. Well, no problem other than the places that hurt that didn't use to hurt.

No, the real transitions this time are more about trying to find myself...or maybe explore a new self...in the aftermath of so many changes in my life.

During these past 4 years, both my mom and my wife's mom passed away. We also had two other deaths in the family that were very hard on everyone. But not every transition was about death. We've also sent Son2 off to college. After struggling for 20 years raising this kid with asperger's syndrome, anxiety disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, he is off on his own. We are still more involved than any parent of a more typical college kid, but still, he has moved out of the house and is being successful.

So good changes. Bad changes. Lots of changes.

Time for me to regroup. To look for new ways to focus on positive things. To get back to an exploration of spirituality. To try new things. To let go of trying to be the uber parent. To let go of sadness.

Lucky you. You get to come along for the ride. And one of the best ways for me to be spontaneous is to have a plan. Yeah, I know...but that's how I am. So you'll see a link to a second blog over there on the side. I'm taking a shot at one of those memes that so many others have tried. And maybe going down that road will help me find an adventure or two.

Suggestions for new adventures are always welcome. Just keep in mind that I hate heights.

Identity In 2010

2010-10-18T20:23:00.000-04:00

I first put my toe in the shallow end of the Internet pool way back on October 21, 1994. That's when I set up an account on AOL and began exploring the Internet. And I remember that moment of panic when the prompt came up to create a Screen Name. A what?? I didn't know I would need a screen name. But the HELP section explained it to me. And it gave some precautions. So I felt I should choose something that didn't tell people exactly who I was.

After that, for years, we were all told to be somewhat anonymous online. Women shouldn't use a screen name that indicated they were female cause they would just be targeted for sex. Kids shouldn't reveal they were young or they would be targeted for sex. Somehow, middle aged white guys weren't being targeted for sex. Some of us were just a tad insulted. But we moved on...being anonymous online. Hiding behind screen names. I had a screen name for AOL...and so did my wife. I had a screen name for CompuServe (remember that one!?!). Of course, it was a different screen name than the AOL screen name cause the same one wasn't available on both services. But heck, being a whole bunch of anonymous people had advantages. Every time I wanted to hang out in certain user created chat rooms...well, we don't need to explore that part of my online history.

Point being, for years we were all a big secret.

And then things began to change. Integrity came with transparency. Being the real me made it possible to blog and do other things online as a professional. And as those professional uses of social media began to overlap with personal uses, there was more confusion between various aliases in some places with real names (or in my case, still clinging to the idea that some secrecy was the way to go), an initial and a name.

Then came facebook. Everyone suddenly felt the need to use their real names. Otherwise, how could those old college friends find you? Besides, facebook feels like a safe place...just people sharing photos of their kids, talking about the routine pieces of their lives, and touching base with old and new friends.

Now...what's a boy to do? My professional blog and professional twitter account identify me the same way. My name. My facebook account has my real name. But here...in blogger...the place I've actually connected and talked with many people...I'm still a nickname. Sure, many of the folks who have talked with me via e-mail over the years know my real name now. But there is an odd disconnect between here and everywhere else. All my family and friends know me on facebook. Only two people that I actually know in real life know about my blog. But I don't write anything here that would offend them or upset them. And even if I did, I write what I really think. It isn't a big secret.

So at what point does pseudo-privacy and anonymity fade away and we all become clickable as the person that we really are?

What do YOU think? How do YOU handle it? Are YOU...really you?

A Powerful Message

2010-10-03T16:01:00.000-04:00

Please go check out Mrs. Chili's Letter to the Universe today. She speaks profoundly on behalf of so many who need support. And she links to some other sites that speak just as powerfully.

You rock Mrs. Chili!

In our last episode...

2010-10-02T20:59:00.000-04:00

Son2 continues to be in college.

Yeah, that fact alone is a bit surprising to us. I mean, we thought he could do it. On the other hand, we would not have been shocked if it had all come to an end by now.

There have been more major outings to islands. However, he continues to make friends and actively participate in social activities. The day came and went for Early Academic Reports. That's the time when the Learning Specialist would call the parents to let them know their kid was struggling (i.e. had some grade below a C). We got no call...just an e-mail saying he was doing fine. And at the end of their first four weeks this past Monday, he moved up a level.

Level? Yeah, every kid starts on Level 1. Based on a variety of achievements - good grades, passing room inspection, participating in social activities, etc, etc....they can move up to Level 2 after the first month. Level 2 means no more required daily study hall. Later curfew. Permission to join clubs for extracurricular activities, and things like that. If you don't move up at the end of the first four weeks, you get another opportunity every three weeks after that. Eventually, each kid tries to go all the way to Level 3 which gives them additional freedoms such as having a car on campus, etc.

So yep, Son2 is moving up, passing, participating. We are excited. We are proud. And we still hold our breath that each day will be one more day of success.

BTW...if you think the only thing I will ever write about again is Son2, you are wrong. Yet, you would be surprised just how much his energy still dominates our lives even when he lives on the other side of the state!

Island Hopping

2010-09-11T19:48:00.000-04:00

In 14 days of college, Son2 has become a person we do not know. When he lived with us, he was chatty with us but totally quiet around others. He had no friends. He didn't go out with others. And he was a slug. He liked to swim, but pretty much any other activity that required any physical effort was met with massive moaning and complaining. It took an act of god to get him to walk to the end of the driveway to get the mail.

Until today. Today he and a few of his new friends (yep, he has new friends...we are still in shock!) left the campus, traveled to the ferry, took the ferry across Long Island Sound to Block Island, rented bikes, and biked all the way around the island. They got some lunch and took the ferry back home.

Our kid did this. Not just other people's kids. OUR kid. It is entirely possible the pod version of him has taken control (sorry for a reference to a movie that might be too old for some of you!).

So what is this like? WEIRD! We are proud of the fact that he is working so hard to make friends. We are excited that he is being successful. But heck, we can't skip over the fact that we are a little concerned. We aren't calling and checking in on him all the time. And we don't have paid spies following him around campus. But it is hard not to worry about a kid who is so enthusiastically embracing the world when he has so little real world experience under his belt.

But he did it. At least he called when he was on the island and we know he did most of it. And we assume he made it back to campus cause we've had no frantic calls from a stranded boy on an island. So we just look at each other, shake our heads, and wonder where this kid came from.

As Daughter says - "that is NOT my brother!"

Where to begin?

2010-09-09T11:13:00.000-04:00

It has only been 11 days since Son2 moved to college but it feels like a lifetime! Try to imagine a group of kids - all with some special need and all with some social skills deficit - living and learning together. Sounds like a good plan. But then imagine that same group of kids - with somewhat limited abilities to set boundaries, lots of inability to inhibit impulses, and the first opportunity many of them have ever had not to be the "weird" kid in the resource room - and you start to see the big picture.

It would be fascinating as a clinical study.

It can be a bit scary and challenging as the parent!!

In just 11 days, he has made friends and then decided they weren't such great friends. And then made more friends. And he has watched - and reported in detail - all the making and changing of friends going on around him. Boyfriend/girlfriend pairs have formed...and dissolved. And formed again. Every social interaction is on hyper speed. Limitations on the abilities to inhibit and discriminate seem to open the floodgates for social happenings.

And yes, one girl who had not really talked to Son2 at all for the first few days finally spoke up. Her first words - "wanna have sex with me?" He politely declined.

Classes are going well. He seems to enjoy it for the most part. But make no mistake...it is college being done at an incredibly intense level.

The Fear

2010-08-22T08:48:00.000-04:00

As I sit here this morning sipping my coffee and looking at the clock, I'm just one week away from taking Son2 to college. Next Sunday morning, he moves into his dorm. And I'm filled with excitement for him. But I'm also filled with anxiety and fear.

For those of you who have read along, you know enough about Son2 to have some understanding of all this.

The excitement is obvious, for sure. Any parent is excited to see their kid head off to college. Meeting new people, learning new things, taking a big independent step out into the world.

But there have been so many times in his life when we felt that college would never be a realistic option for Son2. The anticipation of him going to college has always been tempered by the reality that he might never go. The complexities of his disabilities just can't be ignored. This was something we knew might never happen.

But now it is. And we are grateful for the opportunity he has. Something for which he worked hard and struggled. And we are excited to see him take this step.

But oh, the anxiety! What will it be like for him? Can he make friends? Will he be able to be successful? Will he have a complete breakdown without the support network he has relied on for his entire life?

I have no doubt he can do the academics. He can read and write well. He can memorize names and dates and places. He can do algebra. He can formulate a good thesis and write a pretty good paper. He is no straight-A kid, but he can do the work.

But will he? Will he be able to make himself? Can he learn to organize his time? His materials? Can he handle the social demands of living in a dorm and attending college? Can he overcome the executive functioning disabilities that are such a part of Asperger's?

Yes, this is a program specifically designed to assist kids with learning disabilities. He'll have lots of help - if he learns to use those resources. And he wants it so badly. But will he take advantage? Can he?

And he feels the anxiety, as well. He just told me this week that the stereotype of the 40-year-old man living in the basement with his mom was, as he put it, "not entirely uncomfortable" for him.

We all have doubts. We all have fears. It will be a long week of final preparations, family dinners, and packing. And we'll move him in next Sunday with our fingers crossed and our lucky rabbit's foot in the pocket. We'll leave him behind....this kid who has never spent a night at a grandparent's house without us there. He'll be there in the dorm, on his own, starting college classes the next morning.

I'll want to call him Sunday night. I'll want to call after every class. But I won't. I know he has to do this.

But how long will it be before the fear goes away?

She says it so well

2010-08-20T21:49:00.000-04:00

For any of you who have hung in there with me since early on, you've read posts about Son2 and his struggles with asperger's syndrome, ADHD, OCD, and anxiety disorder. Not an easy cocktail of special needs. And at times, I've tried to write about our struggles to help him and the impact on the family.

Tanya says it so well, I thought I would just send you over to her today. Our stories aren't identical, but I've surely carried Son2 from the store, leaving a week's worth of groceries in the cart, while dragging Son1 along behind.

Thanks, Tanya, for putting it so nicely. Let's hear it for Plan B!

That will be 25¢, please.

2010-08-18T13:31:00.001-04:00

Went with Son2 to the DMV this morning. Time to get that official state ID card, since he doesn't drive and have a flashy driver's license to prove he exists. And my dread was just how long it would take. The DMV, at least in CT, is not known for being speedy. People die and wither away just waiting in line at that place.

But I have to admit, they were quick today! We were in and out in less than 30 minutes - ID in hand with a pretty decent photo as a bonus.

But one thing had changed since my last visit.

The entire purpose of the DMV is forms. People filling out forms. Signing forms. Bringing forms from home that allow them to get new forms to be filled out. Forms.

And what do you need for all those forms? Something to write with. The usual pen-on-a-chain kind of thing glued to every counter top in the place.

There were no pens. No dangling chains where pens used to be. In fact, the most basic tool needed to actually accomplish your reason for going to the DMV has vanished.

In its place? Vending machines. Multiple vending machines selling cheaply made pens for 25¢. Yep, you gotta buy a pen to fill out all those forms.

I'm all about saving money, cutting budgets, reducing overhead. But seriously...shouldn't an agency that is all about forms at least have the necessary implements for dealing with those forms?

Just saying.

31 and Counting...

2010-08-16T17:01:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I started writing again and then went away. What's up with that? VACATION!!

I have been very lucky this year to get 6 weeks off from work to enjoy time with family and to relax and have fun. Well, really just 5 weeks and 6 days, but rounding up sounds even better.

During that time, there has been very little computer work. What there has been has been fun. And more fun. And relaxing. And reading. And napping.

Let's take a quick inventory...

We've gone camping three times...or was it four? Either way, plenty of time to relax and swim and kayak.

We spent 7 nights and 8 days on St. John in the US Virgin Islands. Oh yes, just as awesome as you might imagine. Beautiful beaches. Lots of swimming and snorkeling. Fabulous food - all served in open air restaurants. Wildlife, scenery, ruins, hiking - we had it all.

Reading. I love to read. But during the school year I end up mostly reading things related to work. So far during my time off...9 books under my belt! And with almost two weeks left, I'll get another couple of books crossed off my "to read" list.

Napping. Lots of napping. A boy is never too old for nap time!

So was it all about being lazy and hedonistic pursuits? Nah. I've also done a bunch of chores around the house, helped the neighbor lady with some of her chores, helped move Son1 back home. And helped prepare Son2 for his move away to college. So I've actually found time to be productive when I wasn't reading, napping, swimming, snorkeling....well, you get the picture.

A few more days to go. I hope YOUR summer is just as awesome!!

IT IS OFFICIAL!!!

2010-06-23T15:11:00.003-04:00

Last night at approximately 7:45 eastern time, Son2 strolled across the stage (so far away from where we were sitting that he was mostly a maroon spot on the horizon!) and collected his high school diploma. It is exciting when any kid reaches that milestone. For a kid who struggles with asperger's syndrome and a few other complicating factors, it was truly momentous. An achievement for him, for us, and for all those who have helped him along the way.

Congratulations!! We love you!!!

It all comes down to this...

2010-06-16T13:24:00.000-04:00

I've written about all my kids on the blog, but I've written about Son2 far more often than the others. Having a kid with multiple special needs provides a lot of story prompts!

It also provides more anxieties than any person should have to endure. And right now we are in the middle of final exams. Not just any final exams. Oh no, my friendly reader, I'm talking the FINAL final exams! This is it. Graduate if he does well. Live in our basement and sell vacuum cleaners door-to-door if he fails.

Okay, maybe that last option is a bit extreme. But after 14 years in the public school system (we stretched high school out over five years for maximum benefit), we really have come down to one class that must be passed in order to graduate. Oh it would be nice if he did well in all his classes. Hell, I'm a teacher. Of course I want him to do well. But he could truly fail three of them and nothing would change. But one class...the chem/physics class...it all rides on that one. And he is going into the final with a somewhat mediocre average in that class, so the final really could mean the difference.

Fourteen years coming down to one test.

When he started school all those many years ago, I had a head full of thick, dark brown hair. The kind any woman would want to run her fingers through. Well, not any woman, really. But my wife liked it okay. Now...fourteen years later...some thin spots, some gray hairs, some receding in the hairline area. And I'm wondering if this one test can push me from thinner and grayer to wispy and white?!?! The stress is just unbelievable.

We should have grades very soon. I'll keep you posted.

A Lesson In Loss

2010-06-11T20:46:00.000-04:00

A few folks have looked at the Wordle I posted when I returned from my long absence and said they would love to hear more about some of those words. And I’ll certainly share on several of them. For my own benefit, I’ll probably spend more time on the happier words than the sad words. But I’m gonna start with the sad ones – especially since they contributed to my long absence from blogging.

Some of those words in there – funeral, mother-in-law, estate, and cancer – all relate to the loss of several family members over the past 30 months.

Our first loss was our niece who died in a tragic accident in December 2007.

We really had not recovered from that loss when my mom passed away in February 2008. I never wrote so much about her death, but I did share some of what we dealt with after the fact both here and here.

Just two months after my mom’s death, my favorite aunt passed away. One more emotional blow when we were still struggling with our recent losses.

Throughout all of this time, my mother-in-law battled leukemia. After a long struggle, she finally passed away this past October.

All of these required our family to pack up and travel all around the country for funerals. We all became too good at putting on our “funeral clothes” doing the meet-and-greet at viewings and meals hosted by friends and churches, and serving as pall bearers to loved ones. These are skills at which no one should have to become very adept.

Aside from those skills, we learned other things. We learned to enjoy our family more. We learned to seize the day – go out, have fun, travel – not just worry about saving money for the future. The future is just too uncertain.

During that time of grieving, regrouping, learning…I stopped writing. It just mental energy to write that I just didn’t have at the time. I know, if you’ve read my writing, you think not a whole lot of mental energy could be going into that! But it was more creative energy than I could muster.

Instead, I spent time with family. I read a lot. We talked about our future and what we really wanted. We regrouped. We traveled. We ate out more. We started to have fun and embrace life in ways we never had before. Not that we did “new” stuff…we just did “more” stuff. A lot more.

That’s not to say we don’t still grieve. Some of it still feels too recent to let go. But losing people you love can really open your eyes to those you love that are still with you. Making the most of the time together is a critical thing to do.

We’ve worked hard to learn that lesson.

The First of the Season

2010-05-31T20:24:00.000-04:00

The first camping trip of the season is always one of the best. Oh sure, it takes a lot of work setting up the camper, stocking it with food and supplies, just getting everything in order for the season.

But there is also the relaxing, the sitting in the sun, the swimming, the paddle boat, the kayaks, the delicious meals on the grill and the fun of just hanging out with the family away from the phones and the homework and the chores and the errands.

Hope your weekend was just as awesome.

Timing is everything

2010-05-28T10:55:00.000-04:00

Some folks would swear that the beginning of the school year is the busiest time of the year. It is not.

Some folks believe the holiday season is the busiest. They are wrong.

The end of the school year is the most ludicrous time on the calendar.

As you know, we have three kids. Going to two different schools. That means two different schedules for finals, end-of-year projects, band concerts, staying late to prep for finals, and registering for a summer class (Son1 at his college). Then there is the scrambling to find summer jobs (Son1 who always waits too late!), trying to find time to open our camper and get ready for camping season (first day at the camper will be tomorrow), planning our summer vacation, planning for Son2's graduation, preparing for Son2 to attend college orientation and move into his dorm later this summer, etc, etc.

In addition, since I work at a school, that means a third calendar to follow! A different crush to get things done at the last minute. Different types of projects to wrap up for the year. Different graduation. Different final days for teachers.

It wears on you. Last night, my wife woke me up about 11PM. Why? Cause I had fallen asleep in the chair about 9PM and she just let me sleep till time for bed.

But just 15 more work days for me. YEA!

Of course, I'll be right back at work when summer school begins.

Did I Miss Anything?

2010-05-27T11:15:00.000-04:00

Yep, I'm afraid I did. At least here. Sixteen months ago I wrote my last blog post. Didn't know it would be the last one when I did it. But, well, life gets busy, ya know? And I just drifted away from writing.

But I did miss it. And I missed connecting with friends online. Now that's not to say I didn't connect. So many folks sent e-mails all through those 16 months. They were kind enough to check on me...to keep in touch...and to encourage me to write again.

And so I am. But it would just be crazy to try to write a post that catches you up on the past 16 months. And I'm pretty darn sure not one single person is still checking in here anyway...so no one will really notice. But, on the off chance that I pop up like some long-lost friend on someone's RSS feed, here is the past 16 months on one Wordle...

Yep, that's it. Some things that just were not fun for our family. And some things that were lots of fun.

And as we move forward and I share new things, no doubt you'll pick up on some tidbits from some of those past moments. I know...pretty exciting, huh?

Two people, one body

2009-01-25T10:35:00.003-05:00

Most of you have read enough about Son18 to have a little insight into his disabilities. He is smart but very narrowly focused on his own agenda in life. He is funny and chatty but usually chooses not to talk to anyone. He has massive anxieties and compulsions. He is fun and interesting and frustrating and annoying - all at the same time.

But the most consistent thing I could point out would be his immaturity. He generally has been slow to reach developmental milestones. He still loves to play with his toys. He has routinely been far behind all his peers in everything from taking his first step to appreciating contemporary music.

Until now. Son18 has a girlfriend. I know...I'm even more surprised than you! But yes, between school and facebook and the phone, he has slowly developed a crush on a classmate. And apparently, she feels the same way about him.

This is simply stunning to us! He is suddenly showing us an entirely different person than what we've known for the last 18.5 years. The kid who just spent a large portion of his allowance to purchase custom pieces to add to his massive Lego collection is also asking questions about how to use cologne, wanted his own razor and shave cream, and actually seems to care what he is wearing.

Our heads are spinning. There is just a cognitive disconnect when your kid builds Lego creations while waiting for his girlfriend's mom to come pick him up for an afternoon of movie watching at her house. But that is exactly what took place yesterday.

We are happy for him that he has a girlfriend. We worry how his OCD will rear its ugly head when it comes to talking on the phone and sending messages. And we already dread the fallout when this crush is over. And let's face it, it will be over at some point. And what does that do to someone who has spent hours in tears thinking he will never have a friend?

Joy. Worry. Fear. All the emotions swirling in our heads.

But the biggest thing at the moment is just trying to get to know this new person who has shown up in Son18's body.

1 day, 2 evacuations - what are the odds?

2009-01-08T21:41:00.004-05:00

It started with one quick text message...

I'M GONNA DIE

I got that message about 11:15 this morning from Son18 at school. Being more curious about why he was breaking the rules and using his phone in school than about his melodramatic announcement, I sent a text back asking why he was writing me. He proceeded to text quickly that the school had been threatened and they were in a lock down. Making the assumption that he probably should not be texting from school, I assured him quickly that if he was in lock down, he was safe...so just sit tight.

Moments passed. And then one final text from Son18...

Well if I do die, I luv u

Sure...rip my heart out! Now I had to pay more attention. But before I could, wifey called and wanted to know if I knew anything about what might be going on at the high school. Daughter15 had called wifey to say they were being dismissed early but she had no idea when it might be.

Well, a dozen text messages and quick calls later confirmed that the school was dismissing students - some being evacuated to a nearby elementary school, some put on buses and sent home, and those who could get parents to come get them were being released to parents. And the kids - who had not seen or talked with each other during all the excitement - managed to talk to wifey, get her on the road to pick them up, and coordinate a pickup spot approved by the school during this evacuation.

Ultimately, everyone got home safely. And the news reports that there was a written bomb threat at the high school but all kids were sent home safely, the campus was closed and searched, and no explosive devices were found. So a lot of excitement, a flurry of communication, and all was well.

Tonight, after all that excitement plus the other events of our day, wifey and I decided to go out for dinner. Just as our drinks were served, the fire alarm went off in the restaurant and we had to evacuate. Now we were starting to feel cursed! Two evacuations in one day seemed almost unfair.

We drove to a nearby restaurant, managed to eat without being kicked out in the cold due to bombs, fire, locusts, or any other disaster...and it is now very nice to be sitting at home by the fire.

Tomorrow has got to be calmer, right?

Pardon me while I puff out my chest with pride

2009-01-06T12:35:00.005-05:00

In a recent post by molly_g over at Soapy Water, she discussed the difficulties she and many other families experience each year as holiday letters pour into our mailboxes with the obligatory shout-outs about the successes of their little munchkins. And like molly, I love our family and friends and feel good about their kids...but it is sometimes hard when our best news of the year might be "a better IEP meeting than last year".

And we get this same experience every Sunday at church. We have a time for sharing that often boils down to a series of parents standing up to mention their kid making honor roll or getting some scholarship to some awesome university. I feel good for them...but I also wonder about the successes we'll maybe share one day about Son18.

So I figure, when something good happens, I'm not holding back! And this is one of those times.

As part of his school program last year and this year, we've included a Community Work Experience class. This teaches the kids how to fill out job applications, write a basic resume, etc. But it also actually sets the kids up do to internships at different places in the community.

Last year, for about 12 weeks, Son18 did his first internship at one of the local elementary schools as an aide to the kindergarten teacher. It was basically a job where he would make copies, clean glue off tables, etc. For us, it was more about the opportunity to branch out socially and work around people that he didn't know.

He thrived. The teacher loved him. The kids loved him. And by the end of the year, not only was he sweeping up glitter after the craft activities, he was actually working with small groups of kids who needed extra help practicing their new reading words! It was a great experience for him.

So we get to this school year. This time his internship was going to be more tailored to what he likes. Son18 loves reading and writing so he was set up as an intern at the local newspaper. Again, the job was initially set up to include typing (do they still call it typing?) PR notices from local businesses that would go into the paper.

He loved it. He would inquire about all sorts of things he saw and heard in the newsroom. He progressed to typing articles. He learned to do phone interviews. He learned to operate the database software that archives every article in the history of the paper. He learned the basics of the software used to layout the paper.

At the end of his 9-week internship, his supervisor felt he was doing so well and learning so much, she asked if he could stay for an extra 9 weeks!

He did. And it was incredible. Not only did he continue to learn, he ended up with more than half a dozen bylines!

He finishes that job tomorrow. He will walk away with a portfolio of his writing, an evaluation that says he ended up doing the same work that they usually assign to the college interns, a letter of recommendation that the assistant editor insisted on writing, and encouragement by the newspaper staff for him to use the partnership between the high school and the local community college to begin taking college English courses at the college as part of his senior year in high school next year.

We are thrilled. Proud. And yes, I'm outright boasting! But when you have a kid with pretty complex special needs you gotta do it when you get the chance!

I wonder....is it too early to send next year's Christmas letter now???

A Series of Unfortunate Events

2009-01-03T20:19:00.003-05:00

This afternoon I made a quick trip to the grocery story. Daughter15 and Son21 went along with me. Son21 actually wanted to deposit a check in the bank inside the grocery store and Daughter15 just went along for the ride.

When we entered the store, Daughter15 and I ventured off to find something yummy for dinner while Son21 headed to the bank. But in just moments he was joining us in the produce section. Our first unfortunate event was that we arrived at the store at 4:05. But the bank had closed at 4:00. Oops. His entire reason for going had been thwarted and he was annoyed. Rather than tag along with us, he quickly became bored and impatient and went off on his own.

Daughter15 and I finished gathering things for dinner and headed to check out. We didn't have many items so we chose to go through one of the checkout lines where you scan and bag your own items. Well, who was right in front of us in line? Son21. He had decided to purchase one of those new vitamin water drinks as a way of pacifying his annoyance about the bank.

But moving in behind him in line led to the second unfortunate event. For it seems the woman in front of Son21 was the slowest person in the history of human existence. She had a cart full of groceries and had scanned them all and paid for them. Now they were piled up at the end of the belt waiting to be bagged. Son21 had scanned his one item and paid before she even got started.

Now be patient with me while I share just how she went about this. Cause we surely had to be patient! She opened one bag to hold her groceries. And rather than set the one bag on the end of the belt, she put it inside the cart...which was parked behind her. And then she proceeded to use one hand to slowly and methodically lift one item from the belt, turn, place it carefully in the bag inside her cart, then turn back to the belt for the next item. Never using BOTH hands cause she was holding her gloves in the other hand. So it was one item at a time.

So we waited. And waited. And I wanted to scream "put your gloves down and use both hands and let's move along here!!!". But being the patient person I am (ahem), I did not scream. But I did eventually start scanning our groceries and told Son21 to grab them halfway down the belt, bag them, and we could be on our way. So he did. He sat his vitamin water down, bagged our groceries, and we were ready to leave just as the slow poke in front of us was walking away.

And then we discovered unfortunate event number three. She had apparently bagged and walked away with Son21's vitamin water. He was flabbergasted. Stunned. Disbelieving. And he stood there for several moments repeating "she took my vitamin water...she took my vitamin water...". I had sympathy. I also had a lot of laughter just watching the disbelief on his face. How could someone bagging their groceries in such a slow and deliberate manner make a mistake and take something that wasn't hers??

But she had. And I finally stopped laughing long enough to offer to buy him another. But nope, he was totally fed up with this whole trip and he just wanted to go home. And we heard about his vitamin water all the way home!

And again at dinner.

And after dinner.

And I have the feeling we just might hear about it some more tomorrow. And the next time we go to the grocery store!

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T09:59:00.002-05:00

I hope everyone had a super Christmas! We took off to visit my wife's family for a week. A very nice visit. Travel was pretty easy. The visit was fun. We had a nice Christmas, everyone got nice gifts, we ate awesome food for the week, and we came home feeling ready to kick back and relax for the rest of the holiday break.

Our family tradition for New Year's Eve (which may be a tradition for millions of people?) is appetizers. We just put out appetizers around dinner time. And we add more appetizers to the table as the evening goes on. We browse the table and eat all evening. Shrimp. Chips and dip. Little hot dogs in crescent rolls. Pizza bites. Meatballs. Chicken wings. It varies year to year...but always the appetizer spread. So I'm looking forward to some good eating later tonight. And the timing is perfect cause I'm actually pain free from the new braces for the first time! So bring on the food!!

I've got no words of wisdom or resolutions to share. I just hope you and your families and friends have a great New Year's and a fantastic 2009.

Christmas Gift List

2008-12-23T13:07:00.003-05:00

Well this is my final post before the big day so I figured I better let you guys know what I want. Or more precisely, what I need. One of the blogs that I really enjoy is Greg's General Store. And Greg (see how the name just fits!) did this fun thing where he Googled what he needed....as in "greg needs" and hit Enter. Well I did the same. And here are the top ten things I need. Or so Google says. And Google is very smart and powerful.

Em needs more love. Sure...I'm not gonna argue with that one. Fits right in with the spirit of the season. So bring on the love!
Em needs G.E., and right now G.E. needs Em. Wow, I had no idea I needed G.E. But if they need me, their people should get in touch with my people and we just might be able to arrange something for the new year.
Em needs more love. Again? Okay, who am I to complain? Let the love flow.
Em needs help. Always. With so many things. So anyone who wants to help, drop by the house. I'll put you to work.
Em needs enterprising minds with the attitude, products, skills, finances and business ideas that can change the world. You betcha! Give me that and we can probably forget about #4 on the list.
Em needs $3351-$7151. Yep. No doubt about that. And let's try to keep it closer to the big number if we can.
Em needs the approval of two-thirds of his neighbors. Absolutely. I love approval. It is great to be liked. And two-thirds seems to be a pretty reasonable benchmark.
Em needs assistance with obtaining the food and helping with setup and cleanup. Sounds like a party! Let's do it!!
Em need more timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. And yep, that is an exact quote from Google. I told you they were smart. They really do know.
Em needs him. Hmmmm....wonder what my wife will say about that?

Perhaps you won't be able to give me any of my Needs According to Google. But that's okay. You go have yourself an awesome holiday! And I'm sure when I return from visiting the in-laws and celebrating Christmas, I'll have stories to tell.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Tooth Hygiene

2008-12-17T12:37:00.004-05:00

I'm a brusher, not a flosser. Much to the dismay of my dentist, I've never really enjoyed the flossing experience. But I brush on a regular basis just like everyone else.

But now with the braces, I'm supposed to brush even more. Morning and night isn't good enough. Now I've got instructions to brush four times a day. After each meal and then at bedtime. And I've even got myself some prescription toothpaste to do it with.

Mostly I don't mind. I hate the feeling of things being stuck in the braces. And when I try to lick/suck/tongue/work it out on my own, I look like a dog that just bit a big spoonful of peanut butter. So brushing helps avoid all those facial contortions.

However, I have to say, brushing my teeth at work is weird. I don't know why it strikes me as weird. But it does. I feel odd standing in the big staff bathroom and brushing while various folks wander in and out to take care of their .....ummm....needs. And somehow, in my head, that all seems just a bit awkward....me brushing and drooling and them peeing.

So I've taken to brushing in my office. I try to make sure I do it without any of the drooling. But then, I have to wander down one hall, turn the corner and head down another hall, just to get to the bathroom so I can spit and rinse. The walk is odd..meeting folks while my mouth is full of bubbles and paste and a toothbrush...

"Hi Em, how's it going?"

"Mmm mmm..mmmm."

I thought about going and spitting and rinsing at the water fountain. But would I want to get a drink after someone else just spit there? Nope. So out of consideration....I haven't.

Maybe it isn't too late to ask Santa for a spittoon for my office.

12 Days of Christmas

2008-12-16T11:12:00.002-05:00

Up to this point I've spent 1 hour cruising for parking places, 2 hours walking in the mall, 3 hours sitting in traffic, 4 hours shopping online, and 5 golden hours waiting in lines to check out. Will it be possible to survive the rest?

We have almost entirely given up on eating food that we prepared. Taco Bell, Wendy's, Chili's, Burger King...I should be able to earn something for being a frequent eater. I mean, I earn miles for being a frequent flyer....so I should at least get a free piece of bacon on my whopper next time I pass through the drive-in.

We've also almost given up on family time. The holidays really aren't about family anyway...that is just in the movies. We are too busy to really see each other. Unless you count Daughter15's band concert. We saw her. Sorta. From our seat way in the back. Too bad she was sitting behind that tall flute player. Why can't they let the alto sax players sit on the front row just once?

But there is something for which to be grateful. Gift bags. All sizes and shapes. Instant gift preparation...no wrapping, no tape, scissors. Just drop it in and cover it all with a big wad of tissue paper. Every year I silently send good wishes to the person who created that life saver!

My network has networks

2008-12-11T10:36:00.002-05:00

Is it just me or has it gotten really hard to manage an online presence? I know we are all busy with holiday stuff and kids and paying the bills and all that good stuff. It all takes time. And then we try to squeeze in time to read a few blogs, comment on a few, and update our own.

But that's just the tip of the iceberg! This blog is just one blog for me. I also have two that are part of my job. In addition, I help maintain numerous parts of a large website for our school. But even those big pages are just the beginning.

Let's talk blogs. How many do you read? My Google Reader tells me I'm subscribed to 162! Some are for fun. Some are for work. But it takes time to read them all. Google tells me I've read 1,193 items in the past 30 days. There were way more that I didn't get time to read. The problem is...I wanted to! I wanted to read them all. But there just wasn't time.

Then there is e-mail. At the moment I've got eight (yep...EIGHT) e-mail accounts. Many I don't have to check cause they are just associated with work things and all the e-mail gets routed to one inbox. But I do check four accounts several times a day and try to respond to all the mail I receive.

And Twitter. Do you tweet? Did you have to download and try Twitterific and Spaz and a variety of other desktop applications so you could easily read the stream of tweets?

Facebook? Yep...got a page...visit it about once a month. MySpace. Got a page...never go there.

And don't even get me started on things like Ning and delicious and bloglines and all the other social networking possibilities!

I guess what I'm saying is...how do you manage it all?? Do you even try? Or did you narrow things down to a simple e-mail and blog?

I want to be in touch. I love being in touch. I love the social networking phenomenon. But damn, it sometimes seems like a lot of work to have fun!

Braces. Yep, you heard me. Braces.

2008-12-03T08:03:00.004-05:00

I'm 52 years old...and yesterday I got braces. Two hours at the orthodontist and I've got a mouth full of metal and ceramic and I look sooooo handsome.

NOT.

That is not actually a photo of me...but it looks exactly like mine. Ceramic brackets on top with metal on the bottom. And one tooth without a bracket on the bottom. And my reasons for getting braces are just like this example...overcrowding on the bottom. So, like this person, the tooth without the bracket will be "excised" next Monday and will allow space for the teeth around it to close up and straighten.

Excise is a nice word, huh? Much better than pull....or yank. But that will be Step #2 next Monday.

Meanwhile, I'm enjoying a lot of pudding and mashed potatoes and applesauce. The soreness is definitely there...but the biggest issue is that my top teeth can't close all the way against my bottom teeth. So even if things weren't sore, I still would not be able to chew. I've been reassured this is normal and will resolve itself. I hope that resolution happens soon!

So is the soreness and the lack of chewing the biggest problem? Nope. The biggest problem is that I'm 52 years old and yesterday I got braces! Some things you just think you left behind when you were a teenager. But nope, it is never too late.

And does my vanity kick in? Oh yes. I'm quite certain that my awesome natural good looks just won't hide the fact that I have braces. However, my wife did say I looked "adorable".

Of course, she was laughing a bit when she said it.

Twilight

2008-11-23T10:39:00.002-05:00

Just in case you've not been paying attention....or don't have a young adolescent girl in the family...Twilight is a book. Which became a series. Which became such a huge best-selling series that there have been many weeks when all four books in the series have been on the NY Times Top Ten list of bestsellers.

And now it is a movie. It premiered on Friday. And Daughter15 has been counting down the days for months! And her and her friends, being the smart little teens that they are, decided it would just be madness to try to attend the movie on opening day. Just too crowded. Sold out theaters. Why would anyone want to do that?!?!

So they waited. They waited all the way to the next day. They planned on seeing the movie on Saturday. Surely they would be able to get in then. After all, the local cinaplex was showing the movie on five different screens!

Well, not wanting to see the looks of disappointment on their faces as they were turned away, I went online ahead of time and purchased tickets for her and her friends to the 4:00 showing yesterday. And yes, they were a giggling bunch of thrilled-ness.

So off we go to drop her and her friends at the theater. However, since I purchased online, the folks in the theater want to see me and my credit card just to make sure the little piece of paper I printed at home matches. So I did have to park and go inside for a moment.

What a sight to behold! It was like walking into some odd tribal celebration. Packs of teen and pre-teen girls roaming the theater. Small groups of 3 or 4. Large groups of 8 0r 10. Small packs merging into larger packs. All there for one simple reason. To see Edward and Jacob and all the other characters as they struggle with their young romances and their vampireness. It was definitely an odd vision...and no place for a sane man to be! So I flashed my card and made a quick exit.

And when it was all over? I picked up my small pack of beaming, smiling, Twilight-thrilled girls. A good time was had by all.

The Day After

2008-11-05T13:48:00.003-05:00

I must admit, last night was a very satisfying night for me. And a somewhat emotional time. I am very happy Obama is our new president-elect.

There is no way, as a middle class white guy, that I can even imagine the feelings that many African-Americans must be feeling today. When I grew up in the south, I went to "the white school" in our town while the African-American kids went to "the black school". We finally brought the two together when I was in the seventh grade. We went home for Christmas break and returned to find half the kids from each school had swapped places. It was unsettling to be missing some friends, but I surely never understood why all our parents were so upset about it. I couldn't understand then - and I can't imagine now - how anyone thought it could be a bad thing for all the kids to be going to school together. But they did think that. I grew up with that.

And I grew up with places that had separate bathrooms and separate water fountains for "colored men" and "whites" and "colored women" and "whites".

I lived in Alabama, less than a hundred miles from Selma when they walked over that bridge. But at my young age, I didn't even know it was happening.

I lived in it. In racism and misunderstanding. And many still live in those places today.

Last night was an honor. I'm glad I saw the first African-American elected president. And I'm confident that my feelings are only a glimmer of what the African-American community must be feeling today. The relief and satisfaction of finally seeing our country make that choice. And the hope that this really can be a change for the better in our country.

Two Unrelated Thoughts

2008-11-01T09:22:00.003-04:00

I should preface this by saying it is not unusual for my thoughts to be unrelated to each other. In fact, it is not unusual for my thoughts to be unrelated to anything! Just ask my wife!! But that being said, here are two thought chosen especially for this moment...

Thought One...
Halloween has come and gone. Samhain has come. Candy has been passed out and eaten. Candles lit. Pumpkins carved. Etc. We had fun and I hope you had fun. But here are the things that were hard about Halloween this year...

My kids did not go trick-or-treating. This is their second time to stay home. Last year they just decided they were too old to go. Up until that time, I had walked the neighborhood with at least one kid for 18 years. I knew every house. I knew every decoration. I knew every uneven spot on the dark sidewalk. I had walked on warm nights, on cold nights, in sleet and snow and rain. And I gotta say, I miss it. I still feel melancholy about not going out. I had fun passing out candy to the witches and warriors and demons and angels that visited our home. But I miss going out.

The other thing hard about Halloween is that no one really wants us to have time to enjoy it. When we purchased the candy we were going to pass out, we had to walk among light-up reindeer and wreaths! The store already had Christmas decorations on the shelves with the Halloween stuff. Seriously?!?! Can't we just enjoy one holiday before we have to start spending money on the next one? I love Christmas. But let me have Halloween and Thanksgiving first. Then I'll jump into the deep end of the Christmas pool and have some fun there.

Thought two...
Mine is not a political blog. I just write stuff. But I try to avoid politics cause we hear enough of that on TV, radio, internet, etc. But for those of you who have been living on Mars the past 24 months or so, you might be interested to know we have sort of a big election coming up on Tuesday. I don't mind saying who I'm for..you can see it right over there to the right of the page...I'm voting for Obama. But this is not an attempt to get you to vote for Obama. This is just to say...please vote. It is astonishing to me how many people fail to go to the polls when we have elections. I know politics can turn some people off. But voting really isn't hard. And it is such a fundamental right and responsibility, I think. Our state is expecting nearly a 90% turnout on Tuesday. If that happens, it will be incredible. I just hope lots of states reach that mark! So no matter who you support, please go and vote on Tuesday. And if you live close to me, I'll see you in line!

Observations from the road

2008-10-25T08:32:00.004-04:00

One thing we saw a lot of this summer when we were driving around on vacation was other people driving around on vacation. And we couldn't pass that many vehicles on the road without starting to comment on favorites, least favorites and oddities. And along the way, we came to the conclusion that there are two popular colors for vehicles right now that we just could not understand.

The first color that confused us was rust. Oh I know, the car companies have carefully crafted names for their colors. And this is no doubt something like sunset orange or pumpkin metallic or some such thing. But really...the more we looked at it...we became convinced it was nothing more than shiny rust.

The thing that was difficult to understand was why someone would choose a car that looked like shiny rust. I mean, rust is generally something we do not want to see on our car bodies. So maybe this color is designed to hide the real rust when it starts to eat away at the car? Or maybe we are so easily swayed by product marketing that we'll buy most anything as long as it is shiny?

Ah, but shiny rust was not the most confusing color option on the road. It was lagging behind in second place on the list of Most Confusing Vehicle Color Choices. The #1 confusing color choice...yellow.

No, not pale yellow. Not pastel yellow. Not even bright yellow. We're talking about glow-in-the-dark-oh-my-god-it-hurts-my-eyes-yellow! And there were a lot of them out there!

One model where we saw a lot of of this color was on little Volkswagon bugs. A cute little car...which can pull off being in a cute little color. Somehow that just looked okay.

But then there were these.

Gigantic macho trucks in yellow. Lots of them. And always some big guy driving this screaming yellow truck. And we just could not figure out that choice. Was that the only color available when the guy went to buy a truck? Or perhaps, along with buying the largest truck he could find (compensating??) he also wanted a truck that could be seen from the International Space Station?

Maybe he just walked into the dealership and said he wanted a gigantic, gas guzzling truck with the comment...

I want the yella truck cause I look purty in yella.

I don't know what prompted it...but it was undoubtedly our choice for Most Confusing Vehicle Color Choice.

And to any of my readers who may, this very day, be driving a sunset pumpkin rust metallic car or a lemon yellow truck so bright it hurts to look at it, I still love ya. And I respect your right to drive the car of your choosing.

But please don't be offended if I never ask you to go shopping to help me pick out a nice sweater.

Well that was weird

2008-10-22T21:29:00.003-04:00

A surgical success! And yes, I know, it was just some minor skin cancers so it can hardly be called "surgery". Let's think of it as a procedure. A procedure where they scraped away three spots about the size of quarters on my back.

And did it hurt? Not really. I was pretty numbed up. But it was weird.

Scrape your finger over your skin. Go ahead...I'll wait.

And what did you hear? Not much, huh?

Now what does it sound like when you scrape cancer cells? Imagine the sound of someone eating rice krispies. That's it. That loud crunching sound. A little weird to hear that coming from your back.

And to put the cherry on top the doctor cauterized the spots. A little disconcerting to smell that burning smell coming coming from your own body.

And yet, none of that hurt.

Now...not so much of a hurt...but it really, really, really stings. A lot. And it does hurt to lean back on the couch. But other than that...which is mostly just my whining...it is all over and I don't have to go back for six months for a follow up visit.

Thanks for your good wishes!

You'll feel a little pinch

2008-10-22T11:01:00.002-04:00

That's what they always say right before they really hurt you. Well, today I'm having just a bit of outpatient surgery. Three minor basal cell spots removed. And the doctor has stressed "minor" so I'm not worried about the cancer. But I always worry about the other part. I mean, the biopsies hurt some...and they were tiny! These spots are not so tiny. So we'll see how I'm feeling later this evening!

Learning about technology

2008-10-21T19:38:00.002-04:00

I spent today at a very cool conference - the annual gathering of the Computer Educators of Connecticut. It is always a great opportunity to see the latest in tech stuff, to hear how other educators are using technology in their classrooms, and just to get a good pep talk about technology.

Today's keynote speaker was David Pogue, technology writer for the NY Times. In spite of his own technical difficulties (a problem with the equipment at the convention center, not anything of his own doing), he presented a very interesting and entertaining keynote address. He then followed it up with a presentation to a smaller group on Web 2.0 technologies. Both had a lot of great information. Both shared a lot of new things. And both were very funny.

The rest of the day was spent listening to other leaders in technology education as they shared about using blogs, podcasts, video, Google products, and other great resources in their class.

And I'll certainly get to take some of this back to work tomorrow and start applying it to what I do.

The only downside of the day was that there just wasn't anyone to share it with. If I talk about technology too much, my wife's eyes start to glaze over. I mean, she doesn't even have an e-mail account! (I know, I say that like it is the mark of satan! LOL) At work, since we work with kids with severe special needs, the integration of technology into our curriculum is challenging and limited. We utilize a lot of adaptive technology, but not a lot of what I saw today. So there just isn't anyone there to share it all with, either.

So yes, I'll take some of it back and share it and find other, unique ways for staff to utilize the technology for their own professional growth. But it sure would have been nice to have someone there to look at and say "did you see that?!?! I can't wait to try that tomorrow!"

Oh well, missing out on that certainly doesn't change how much I learned nor how much I enjoyed it.

The OBX

2008-10-19T09:48:00.003-04:00

The biggest event I missed writing about was our trip to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. It was our first real family vacation in 14 years...and it was fabulous. We spent 9 days on the road...flying into Norfolk, Va. for a night, then driving down to Nags Head for 7 days, then back to Norfolk for a final day to visit their aquarium and science center. It was all fantastic.

I could give you a day by day, activity by activity, meal by meal account of the trip...but I won't. It would take about 40 posts and involve overwhelming Blogger with hundreds of photos. But I will say we had the opportunity to enjoy swimming and playing in the ocean, going on dolphin watches, touring nesting sites of sea turtles, hiking, visiting the largest natural sand dunes in the eastern United States, flying kites on the beaches and the dunes, and so much more.

Yes, there were four of us with digital cameras so we really did come home with hundreds of photos. Son21 even documented his trip in food...taking a photo of his plate at every restaurant we visited. And I'm sure if you visited the Facebook pages of the kids, you would find more photos of our trip.

But I'll only show you a few here. If you want to see them all, drop by the house for a beer and a slide show.

We rented a house in Nag's Head for the week. It was a beautiful house with all the amenities - fully stocked kitchen, laundry service, heated pool, hot tub, five balconies, and nine (yes NINE) TV/DVD players. And each bedroom was a master suite so every kid had their own bedroom and bath. They felt quite pampered! LOL

The best part of it all was the location. Sitting in the family room or the dining room, we could look one direction and look out over the ocean...and in the other direction we could enjoy Albermarle Sound. And to walk to the beach...60 seconds. The photo above was the beach we visited nearly every day. It was perfect.

Not sure the photo really illustrates just how big and tall the dunes at Jockey's Ridge really are...but they were huge! It was definitely a workout to hike around the dunes. And Daughter15 and I returned to the dunes later in the week for some kite flying.

It seemed we could not get enough of the beautiful sunsets...whether on the beach, on our balcony, or here at the Sound.

There are a lot of famous lighthouses on the Outer Banks. This one, the Bodie Island Lighthouse, was closest to where we were.

It really was one of the most beautiful places I've ever visited. And even in a busy summer week, there were plenty of open spaces and serene locales.

It was a fun trip. And after the past ten months or so, it was quite restorative for our family.

It was twenty years ago today...

2008-10-17T13:13:00.005-04:00

Well, not really. In reality it was two years and nine days ago today that I started this adventure into blogging with the Shakespearean paraphrase To Blog or Not To Blog. And over the first year and a half or so I did pretty well. I wrote. I visited you. I commented. I got to know lots of blogger friends online.

And then a harsh reality intruded. Life dealt our little family a series of blows starting last December with the death of our 16-year-old niece in a sledding accident. That was followed less than two months later with the death of my mom. At about that same time, my mother-in-law was classified as no longer being in remission with her battle against leukemia and a variety of treatments were reintroduced. Shortly after all that, my favorite aunt - one who had played a very large part in raising me - passed away. In addition, my wife had emergency gall bladder surgery followed by a difficult recovery. And thanks to all the information gathered during that episode, she has since been diagnosed with high blood pressure and diabetes. And finally, I was diagnosed as having several mild basal cell carcinomas.

Fun, huh?

As all that took place, my writing and my visits to read your writing dwindled. It was sporadic at best...and non-existent the rest of the time. Finally, as I reached the end of summer school and left for our family vacation, I took a break from the blog. I had intended to take that break just for a couple of weeks while we traveled and relaxed. But upon returning home, the stress of the past year still weighed heavily. Several aspects of our life felt out of control as we had devoted so little time to things around the house. So I just decided the blog had to rest until things felt somewhat back to normal.

Now here I am! Normal? Not a chance, really. But much better. The beginning of the school year is behind and things feel much more settled than they have in a long time. We are still working to settle some things with my mom's estate. My MIL has completed some very successful courses of chemo and the doctors are hopeful that she will again be considered in remission. And my wife's health is doing just fine.

So I'm back! And no, you don't have to leave any sympathetic comments about all that happened. We all have bad times and so many of you have already left comments or e-mailed (or both!) just to check on me. And I gotta say, to get so many e-mails from folks who just wanted to say "hi"...to see how I was doing...and who said they missed reading the blog, that was awesome. Thank you!

Over the next few weeks I'll try to catch up on things that I've missed writing about...and get back in the swing of things. And I can't wait to wander around and see all that has been going on with everyone!

To Blog or Not To Blog? The answer is still a resounding YES!

I love to read!

2008-07-31T09:53:00.002-04:00

One thing I totally love about summer are the extra opportunities to read. Extra days off work allow for reading during the day. And it means I can stay up later at night and read. Days at the beach or the pool mean sitting in the sun and reading. Lots and lots of reading.

For the most part, I'm not reading anything of earth-shattering importance. I read a lot of journals and blogs that relate to my profession, but I'm not working my way through the non-fiction best seller list.

Of course there are some books to help plan our trip to North Carolina.

And I read a lot (a LOT!) of blogs just for fun.

But mostly I love the fiction. Murder mysteries. Horror stories. Creepy stuff. Funny stuff.

At the moment, I'm reading the second book in Dean Koontz's Frankenstein trilogy. Before that, I was reading a book about werewolves. The books in this photo are just a small portion of those I've worked my way through this summer. And I've still got about half a dozen sitting on my bedside table just waiting for me.

I love to read!

Where did he go?

2008-07-30T10:30:00.004-04:00

Camping! And more camping. And swimming and kayaking and basking in the sun. And don't forget sleeping late. And napping. And eating tons of good food off the grill. And reading. And a bit of mini golf.

And then I started over and did it all again!

The best photos definitely come from the lake. The early morning trips on the kayak when the lake and campground is quiet. There might be a few columns of smoke up in the trees from someone cooking breakfast over a morning fire. But other than that...peace and quiet on the lake in the early morning.

And when I go out later in the day, Daughter14 is always eager to
jump in the other kayak and go along for a paddle. The rest of the family prefers a more leisurely ride in the paddle boat.

So what's next on the schedule? Well I gotta come around and visit your blogs...see what has been going on.

And we've gotta do a little work around the house and a bit of back to school shopping. Which seems so wrong cause school has barely ended and now we are buying backpacks and new clothes for the upcoming year. Too fast!!

And then, in just ten days, we'll be leaving for our family vacation. Now what makes this one so special? Because we have not taken a real family vacation in fourteen years. Yep, 14. My work schedule wasn't conducive to it. And sometimes we just couldn't afford it. And the reality of a kid with special needs is that it can be very difficult to travel, stay in hotels, deal with unpredictable schedules, etc.

But this time, we are out of here! We'll be heading to the Outer Banks of North Carolina and all the kids are coming along and we can hardly wait!

But for now...home for a few days...and I'll be around to visit soon!

So what to do when it rains?

2008-07-06T12:26:00.003-04:00

That's right...the 60/80 conundrum yesterday left us wondering what to do for fun. And all the kids said bowling! Something we had not all done together in years. But we headed to the lanes and had a great time!

Son21...

Daughter14...

and Son17 all showed off their styles.

And they all thought they would kick dad's butt. They didn't! Na na na na na na! But trust me, my score was nothing to brag about. In fact, I have photos of the electronic score sheet. But its my blog and I see no reason to embarrass myself by posting that! :)

60 or 80?

2008-07-05T10:15:00.002-04:00

Does it even matter? Our plan for the three-day weekend was to head to our camper, enjoy playing in the lake, use the new kayaks, sit by the campfire, etc.

But it rained. And rained some more. It rained so much we didn't even go yesterday. Even when it wasn't raining, it looked like rain. It was cloudy and cool. Not great camping weather.

So we stayed home yesterday. Watched some good DVD's. Took a nap. Took the kids out for dinner. So not what we had planned but not a bad day.

But today we planned to get up and get right down there and make the best of the two days left in the long weekend.

When we woke up, it was raining. The weather channel says an 80% chance of rain and thundershowers today. Going online it says there is a 60% chance of rain and thunderstorms. Who is right? And does it matter? Do either of those numbers sound like the forecast that would beckon you to put on your thong and jump in the water? How about building a fire and roasting some marshmallows? Hard to keep a fire blazing in a downpour.

Do we go camping? Or do I break out that new book and spend an afternoon reading and relaxing? Either way will be fun. But seriously...can we have a bit of sun sometime this weekend!?!

__________________________________

Note: To relieve those chills you've been having since paragraph #5, I don't really wear a thong swimsuit. So you don't have to cover your eyes and keep the kids inside. I do have a new swimsuit with a very cool Hawaiian print, though. :)

In memory...

2008-06-30T11:51:00.001-04:00

A nod to Winston Rand at nobody asked.... Winston passed away on Saturday. He was a very good online friend - someone who encouraged me a lot in my efforts at blogging. And he was an excellent writer with a great outlook on life.

His voice will be missed.

Bird Stuff

2008-06-29T08:34:00.004-04:00

Mating dance? Territorial dispute? A bizarre and fascinating bird thing?

Yes...definitely the last one. Perhaps one of the others.

Yesterday, these two birds spent about 15 minutes doing their thing in our yard. They chose a stump from one of our recently removed trees as their stage. And they performed.

Sometimes one - or even both - would run off into the grass, but they never ventured far from the stump. And the ritual never ceased.

They sang. They danced. They bobbed and weaved.

There was lots of posturing and tail flaring.

And it was fascinating to watch.

I'm no avian expert. I have no idea what kind of birds they are. Perhaps a Ruby-Headed Grass Dancer. Or a Flair-Tailed Stump Hopper. Maybe some dear reader can identify our little friends. But if you have to look it up in Black-Throated Stump Dancers of Connecticut, Volume III, don't go pretending like you knew it all along.

Eventually, they both took off and the yard was quiet again.

Grab your PFD and let's go!

2008-06-15T21:57:00.004-04:00

To all the dads out here...HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! Hope everyone had a great day in whatever way you celebrated. Some had breakfast in bed. Some got a long afternoon nap on the couch. Some had a special dinner. Some got gifts. A lot of ways to celebrate this day...and I hope your way was fabulous!

For me...a relaxing day. A delicious dinner of steak on the grill, potatoes and corn on the cob for dinner.

And gifts! Well, really just one big gift...and a couple of accessories that go along with it. And what was this one big gift?!?!

A little sit-on-top kayak for the campground!

That's right, boys and girls, I'm ready to do some paddling! And just to make it more fun, we actually got two of them so I can go out on the lake with one of the kids or with my wife. I'm so excited, I can't wait for school to be over so we can head to the campground and get out on the lake.

If you're in the neighborhood, stop by. We'll go for a little paddle together!

THREE DAYS LEFT

2008-06-13T20:30:00.003-04:00

If you are a parent, you know just how crazy the end of the school year can be. There are band concerts, field trips, special assemblies, forms to fill out, missing library books to find and return, finals to help kids prepare for, schedules to preview for next year, letters from administrators and guidance counselors about special summer events, makeup work for things that got missed, and a long list of other special things that get crammed into the last days of the school year.

But it is almost over. There are only THREE DAYS LEFT in the school year for the kids. A few more finals on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and they are free!

If you are a teacher, you know just how crazy the end of the school year can be. There are band concerts, field trips, special assemblies, forms to fill out, missing curriculum materials to find and return, finals to prepare, summer school schedules to preview, letters to write to parents about special events in the summer and leftover information from this year, and a long list of other special things that get crammed into the last days of the school year.

But it is almost over. There are only THREE DAYS LEFT in the school year! A final day with the kids on Monday and two teacher days on Tuesday and Wednesday and I'll be free!

Well, almost. Because my job description is a bit different. I don't actually teach in a classroom any more. I'm the technology coordinator and a professional development specialist for our school. So while I attend concerts and assemblies and field trips and all that stuff to assist the staff, I'm also scrambling to set up e-mail accounts for summer staff, filling out requisition forms for equipment upgrades and replacements during the summer, finding missing equipment that got loaned out and never returned, writing letters to parents about planned upgrades to the school web site and blogs for next year, and a long list of other special things that get crammed into the last days of the school year.

But it is almost over. There are only THREE DAYS LEFT in the school year for me! Videotaping the graduation ceremony on Monday and setting up laptops and projectors for two meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday, installing new software in the building, backing up the servers, finalizing accounts for summer staff and I'll be free!

Well, almost. Summer school doesn't begin until June 30th, but I'll be back on the 23rd to prepare a summer workshop on using the advanced data analysis tools in Excel for a group of teachers and clinicians wanting to enhance their skills in collecting, analyzing and reporting data. But at that point, I really can say just THREE DAYS LEFT because I'll prep on the 23rd and 24th and lead the workshop on the 25th. And then I'm free.

Really. Four whole days off ... until summer school begins.

A nice celebration

2008-06-09T09:05:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was Daughter14's Affirmation ceremony. An Affirmation ceremony is the "coming of age" ceremony at our church.

All 9th grade students spend a year in the Affirmation class. During the year they explore the principles and beliefs of our religion...but also continue to explore a variety of other religious and spiritual pathways. These explorations are combined with discussions of all the "big" topics - what makes a person unique and special; what does each of them value in others; is there a God or Goddess or multiple gods and goddesses and, if so, what form do they take and what is their role in our daily lives; what happens when we die; etc.

It is not easy for a 14 year old to figure out what they believe about these things. It isn't even easy for a 52 year old to figure it out!

But the culminating portion of the class is that each student, working with the two class leaders and their own personal mentor, writes a credo statement about their beliefs at this point in their life. And then those statements are shared with the congregation during the Affirmation ceremony.

My daughter hates speaking in front of a crowd. And she considers any group with more than two people to be a crowd! But the church was packed and she did an awesome job.

In fact, all the kids did a terrific job.

And then there was a nice reception afterwards. I mean, all good events have food...right!?!

Daughter14....you did great! We are very proud of you!!!

Timberrrrr!

2008-05-23T21:04:00.012-04:00

When I left for work this morning, our front yard looked like this...

And when I came home this afternoon...voila!

A huge change!

Stunning actually - even though I knew it was coming. To actually see the difference was amazing.

So what brought about this change? Just our hatred of trees? Hardly. We love trees. We chose to live with woods behind our house so we could see lots and lots of trees. But not too long ago, this happened...

We woke up one morning to find a rather tall tree had fallen across our back yard. Fortunatly, even though it fell toward the house, it was in the very back of the yard so it didn't reach anywhere close to the house. The only damage done was a few divots in the grass and a couple of azalea bushes got a little crunched.

But it made us think a little bit about all the really large trees that were very close to the house. In many cases, they had quite large branches that hung over the house. And we decided it was time to bring in an arborist and see what trees had damage or disease that might weaken them...and what trees were simply overgrown and in need of some pruning.

We'll have two days of work done in order to get it all done. And they really brought in the big stuff...

The bucket truck for the tall stuff...

The tractor for pushing trees, pulling tree trunks, carrying limbs, etc...

And what self-respecting tree guy would show up without a seriously powerful chipper...

On Tuesday they'll return to do a lot more work in the back yard (with me taking some photos, of course!). But for now, we have a couple of days to get used to our front yard...which just seems so much more sunny and open!

(Yes, all the pics are clickable if you feel the need to see the work a bit better)

Enough is enough

2008-05-19T19:59:00.003-04:00

I don't mind a commercial that is creative, funny, and somehow entertaining. I know they don't come along very often, but when they do, I don't mind watching. I even enjoy them a second time...maybe a third time. But they grow old pretty quickly.

That is not the case with commercials that are bad, annoying, or poorly done. Late night TV is filled with the locally produced commercials with bad grammar, bad lighting, and really dumb appeals.

But not all annoying commercials are local. If you watched enough TV in the last few months, you've no doubt seen the commercial for the babybaby CD. You know the one...

Oh Amanda
Oh Amanda
My baby baby girl

A CD with 6 songs...customized with your baby's name. I've heard this annoying commercial approximately 92 million times. Or at least it seems that bad. The song is annoying. The repetitiveness of the commercial is annoying. Even when they change it up and sing to Emily, it is still annoying.

And if I understand correctly, if you lay down your money, you basically get the same song 6 times - 3 with various verses and 3 instrumental versions. Does anyone really need 6 versions of this same song??? Please, I think not.

If you've bought the CD for your kid, good for you. I've got no problem with the CD. Well, not too much. But I won't get into that here. But the commercial....it has to stop!

Squeezing in the fun

2008-05-09T18:54:00.002-04:00

I know my recent posts make it sound as if our life has become one crisis after another with nothing in between except grief, sadness, trauma and paperwork. And it is true that some days start to feel a bit like that! But we've done our best to squeeze in some "together" time and make sure we were remembering to enjoy our life.

A few weeks back, my wife and I traveled up to Northampton, MA to one of our favorite little clubs to have some dinner and to see The Wailin' Jennys, a folk group from Canada. These three women - plus one new group member, a guy they referred to as "the new jenny" - are just incredible. Between the four of them, they played at least 10 or so instruments throughout the show, entertained the crowd with plenty of charm and humor, and offered up some of their most popular songs. It was a really fun evening.

But we didn't want to keep all the fun to ourselves. So we also took the entire family to see Cirque du Soleil. This is the third time their touring show has made a stop in CT. We went to see them the first time, nearly four years ago, and all five of us were blown away! So there have been steady requests from the kids to see them again. And trust me, when you can get three teens too all agree that one thing is good, you don't take that lightly! So we were thrilled to have the opportunity to see them again.

If you seen Cirque, you know what they are like. If you've not seen them, words won't really describe it. And if you've seen them on Bravo, you know what they are about, but seeing them on TV does not do justice to just how incredible they are. While the tickets are a bit pricey, there isn't a bad seat in the tent. Yes, they really do perform in a tent. But once you are inside, it really doesn't feel like a tent. And the seats wrap around about 75% of the stage so every seat is close and has an excellent view.

And the performance itself is mesmerizing. Every aspect - the clowns, the lighting, the music, the gymnastics, the dance, the storyline - everything has been pulled together by what I believe are some of the most creative people around. One minute we were laughing as clowns raced through the audience and the next we were holding our breath as men performed on the wheel of death.

The kids loved it. We loved it. And the requests to see the next touring show have already begun.

So we've certainly had our tough moments over the past few months, but we've squeezed in some laughs and some good times when we've had the opportunity. And that time together has been especially nice as we've worked our way back to normal.

Fact or Fiction

2008-05-05T20:26:00.003-04:00

Saturday was a good day of recovery for my wife - Ms NFMC (thanks for the alias, May!). But on the heels of one good day of recovery at home, she had a night of restlessness and nausea and vomiting. She was unable to keep down any food, any liquid, any of her medications.

And it was green. Like pea soup green.

So we looked on our list of "Call the doctor if any of these are present". This list had been kindly provided by the hospital when we left on Friday. There were about ten things on the list. She had three. Extreme nausea. Vomiting. Green vomit.

So the call was made. And guess what they told us to do???

You guessed it - return the emergency room - the place where it all began last Wednesday morning. The triage wait was very short. Nothing else on Sunday was short. We were in that tiny room in the ER for eight hours.

Eight is a very big number when you are bored out of your freaking mind! There is NOTHING to do in ER. Not one single magazine. No Sports Illustrated. No National Geographic. Hell, I would have been happy with Women's Day! But nope, nothing to read.

And no food or beverage. We left home about 8AM on Sunday morning. No coffee. No breakfast. And they would not let me bring in a soda or a snack. Nothing. Oh sure, I could go to the cafeteria and eat. But I could easily return to find my wife gone to some test with no idea what really happened to her. So I stuck around.

But I did eventually entertain myself. For example, when I took my wife's heart monitor off - that little thing they clip on your finger to monitor your pulse (heck, she was sleeping by then, she didn't know), I found out that my pulse was about two beats per minute faster than her pulse. And that little gizmo also monitors the level of oxygen in the blood. Don't ask me how, some sort of medical techno magic. But however it works, my rate was again about two higher than her rate. But we were both in the upper 90's - which apparently is good. But what was a little concerning about their magic technology was that the sheet had an oxygen content of about 60. Really? Hmmmm.

Oh, and those little stretchy things they wrap around your arm tourniquet-style to make the vein pop up for an IV...well those little suckers will really fly across the room if you pull back on them really good.

But enough about me and my fun. This is about my wife, huh? Cause she was the one laying on the bed. And since she went in reporting massive vomiting, they immediately gave her an anti-nausea medication. It stopped the urge almost immediately. And then, since she had been awake all night, she fell asleep and slept for most of the eight hours we were there.

And if they solved the problem right away, why did we stay so long? Well it wasn't cause the food was good! Apparently they wanted to figure out why she was throwing up. Picky, picky. So she slept...and periodically had someone take an x-ray or do an ultrasound or take a blood sample.

And the result of all that? They don't know! Their guess (gee, isn't it nice when the doctor only has a theory?!?!) is that she had a reaction to one of the anti-surgery medications they gave her. But did they change any of those? Nope. Just gave her some anti-nausea medication to take at home and sent us on our way.

After eight hours. I did say it took eight hours, right?

And today? She seems just fine. No throwing up. No pain from the surgery. Still sleepy from the medications. But basically it seems like the recovery is back on track.

Now...which parts of this story are fact and which are fiction?

Sadly, all of it is fact.

Put down the pins...

2008-05-02T14:46:00.003-04:00

...and step away from the voodoo doll!

I'm starting to feel cursed! I mean, I just wrote last Friday about the on-going trauma to our little family. But we were bouncing back. And we bounced all the way to Wednesday morning about 3AM. That was when my wife woke me up due to her severe pain. We were off to the emergency room for a little visit by 4AM. And after a series of blood tests, ultrasounds, and 92 different interns and residents poking on her until she practically screamed and then asking "does that hurt?"....it was 1PM and they carried her off to surgery.

By the time I saw her again around 5, she was missing a gall bladder. But in so much less pain! Those little incisions were so much less painful than a gall bladder that was infected and engorged.

They kept her at the hospital until noon today...just monitoring lingering infection and pain, but she is home now and seriously medicated.

And the highlight of the whole ordeal (aside from her obvious improvement in health) was Son18 giving me a call at the hospital yesterday just to ask..."So when they took out her gall bladder, what did they do with it? Do they just have a big garbage can full of body parts?"

Whatever can they have, it now has one more seriously infected gall bladder. Better in the can than in my wife!

Landmarks in time...

2008-04-27T14:30:00.003-04:00

During my absence from writing a couple of major landmarks took place in our family. First of all, my wife and I celebrated our anniversary. Twenty-three years of being together. And most of that time has been very good. Sure, we bicker about things at times. But not very often and not very intently. We generally get along very well.

And surprisingly, this year filled with sadness and difficulty within our extended family, has actually been a year that I've felt particularly close to my wife. Sharing our grief, supporting each other, and encouraging each other has been a really amazing bonding experience for us. We've become closer than ever. I hate the circumstances that caused it. But I treasure the new-found closeness that makes our marriage better than ever.

The other big landmark was a birthday. Son17 blew out the candles and became Son18. And of course we celebrated with a nice dinner out, a yummy chocolate cake, and plenty of gifts. And he was very happy with the gifts since he got exactly what he requested - an iPod Nano, the second season of LOST on DVD, an iTunes gift card, and some gigantic Lego model called the Exoforce Mobile Devastator. He got a few small things as well, but that was his "big four" and he was most happy.

A belated blogger Happy Anniversary to my wife and Happy Birthday to Son18!

Slowly coming back...

2008-04-25T21:30:00.002-04:00

Well when I wrote my last post, I had no idea it would be 59 days before I sat down to write again. But before I even attempt to bring you up to date, I must start with some gratitude. So many of you have been so awesome while I've been absent from the blogosphere. Some of you have continued to leave comments now and then. Others have sent e-mail. Kati and Winston and May and Lisa and Joanne and Darren and Whimsical and Wizard and so many more. In most cases, I didn't write back. But that doesn't mean I didn't love hearing from you. Your brief words lifted me up on many occasions. And I thank you.

So...what happened? Well, my family went through a very tough time in December when my niece died in the sledding accident. I wrote about that. And we pushed through and tried to have a good Christmas. And it felt as if we were just getting our feet under us when my mom passed away in February. And that was pretty much when I stopped.

As an only child and the only immediate family member still around, I've had to step up and try to deal with every aspect of her life now that she is gone. There has been a maze of lawyers and financial folks as we tried to piece together things in a timely way to do tax returns for us and for her. And I think my last post about the piles of papers probably clued you in to the fact that she was not the most organized about things...so pulling together important papers has proven more difficult than I ever imagined.

And then there is her home. Her things. Eighty-three years of living. And we've tried to cope with that. I've traveled to GA twice for a week at a time...and my wife has been there for a week in between my trips. And I never realized how difficult it could be to go through someone else's stuff. I could sort and pack things in my house. Cause I know what I have. I know where it is. But there, everything is a matter of discovery and then deciding what to do with it. Some things we want. Some things we don't want. Do we donate it? Tag sale it? Trash it? So far some of all three have taken place. But it is really hard to let it go. Things I totally have no desire to own are still difficult to get rid of. My mom or my dad wanted those things. They bought them. Saved them. These things had meaning and value to them. And it feels callous to just get rid of them. But that is what must be done.

And you would think all that would be enough. But that isn't the end of the story. I just recently returned from my last trip to GA...and the day I flew home, when I arrived home, I got the call that my aunt in GA had passed away. This was the aunt who basically raised me while both my parents worked full time. I had seen her recently. Talked with her. Knew she was not doing well. But didn't realize just how fragile she was. And the timing of it...just as I arrived home...made it impossible for me to turn right around and travel back to GA again. I'm out of days to take off from work. I'm exhausted from the travel. I'm emotionally spent. So the best I could muster was to send flowers.

It is enough. Three deaths. Dealing with an estate - small but seriously unorganized. Time away from my own family. We are all tired, physically and emotionally.

And that is why I've not written. I had nothing to offer other than just bemoaning the current state of affairs in my life. And it would have been just too easy for me to sink into self pity.

But little by little, at work, with my family, and now here...I'm starting to reclaim what feels like a normal life. We still have a house to sell in GA (and gee, isn't the housing market just dandy?!?!). We still have the actual move to deal with in terms of getting what we want from GA to CT. But I'm starting to feel like we are gonna get through it and move on with life.

And some days, when I wasn't so sure about our ability to move on, your words would pop up and cheer me up. Thank you.

It is good to be back...even it may be somewhat sporadic for a while before I get back to my usual routine of visiting your blogs and writing my own. But hey, sporadic is better than nothing!

And in this closet...

2008-02-26T19:52:00.010-05:00

I have returned yet again. The trip to GA was long and difficult. Lawyers and CPA's and probate judges and banks and so much more. So many things to do. I've never gone through this and I had no idea just how much was involved. And I learned two very important lessons very early in the trip...

EVERYTHING takes longer than I thought it would take
NO ONE on the phone can help me until they've transferred me at least four times

And I learned one other thing during my trip. Something I never really knew about my mom. She saved every piece of paper she ever saw in her life. Every bank statement. Every old check book. Every grocery receipt. Every Christmas card. Every one.

You may be thinking....so what, one little pile of papers. What is he bitching about?

Oh no, my friendly blog reader, I'm talking many big piles. Many piles in this closet. More piles in that closet. Some piles under a bed. Some on the shelf. Piles and piles.

But hope remained. Perhaps all those piles were neatly organized, thus allowing me to quickly identify recent documents needed for accumulating assets and paying her bills while blindly tossing the 1994 Halloween cards.

No such luck. It was a hodgepodge. A jumble. A mishmash. A melange. A potpourri of papers. (Okay, I'll stop now. But are you getting it? There was a LOT and it was a mess!)

So what was a poor boy to do with all that paper when there were other things to be done? A game plan was hatched. Mornings were devoted to meetings with attorneys and financial folks. Afternoons were devoted to packing things in the house. Evenings were spent looking through papers - piece by piece - and either tossing or saving, as necessary. And on the final day, I packed up two large boxes and mailed them home for later inspection. I packed an extra suitcase with papers. I crammed my carry on luggage with papers. And I came home.

Now our family room has a new piece of furniture. The card table where I now sit - surrounded by boxes of paper. I think I might be here for a while...finishing the task of identifying what is current and tossing or shredding the rest.

Anyone for a parade? I've got all the paper you need!

On the road again...

2008-02-16T09:10:00.005-05:00

So today I hop on a plane and head back to Georgia for six days. This is the winter break at my school, so it gives me a chance to travel back to where my mom lived to begin the long process of dealing with her things.

What a cold phrase, huh? Dealing with her things. Better to say...sorting through her belongings? Sounds less than what it really is. Managing the estate? Sounds like she lived at Graceland. But no matter how you say it, there is a house to be gone through. Attic to shed. Every drawer and every cupboard. Eighty-three years of living. Some of it will come to us. Some will go to other family. Some will be donated. Some will be thrown away. And my job this week is to start making those decisions.

Plus probate. I gotta see attorneys. I have to start closing out her accounts for cable and credit cards and all those kinds of services. So a lot of phone calls and visits to banks, etc.

It will be a tough few days, I think. My wife and the kids will be staying at home. Son20 still has classes this week. The other kids need their school break to catch up on makeup work from missing a couple of weeks ago...and just to relax and enjoy a little free time.

And what will make the entire trip more difficult? NO INTERNET! (gasp!) I'm leaving the laptop at home. My mom never had an internet connection at her house...so I would have to go to a coffee shop or book store to find free WiFi. And I would. But the temptation would be to go there every day. Maybe morning and evening. Cause you know I love my blog reading and my e-mailing. So to avoid all that, I'm leaving it at home and going cold turkey. Yikes!

But I've at least prepared a tiny emergency backup plan. I learned how to text message with my cell phone this week. I know...only ten years after everyone else in the world embraced that little trick of communication. But now I know. And if I reach a moment of desperation where I just have to type something, I can send a text message to someone. Now if I only knew all your cell phone numbers...... :)

Be good. I'll be around checking up on you as soon as I return.

Funeral Food

2008-02-13T21:01:00.003-05:00

My wife grew up Mormon. She is no longer a part of that religion, but all of her family is very active. And one tradition I've always heard about is funeral potatoes. Apparently this is an unofficial tradition among Mormons - especially those who live in Utah. If you Google "funeral potatoes", you'll find more than 90,000 links to blogs, online magazines, recipe sites, and other web sites discussing this particular dish.

Funeral potatoes are not just for funerals. They might show up at other potlucks, parties and gatherings. But they are a staple item at enough funerals that the name has evolved to simply reflect that fact.

For something so commonplace at these events, the recipes can vary quite a lot. Some are made with cubed potatoes while others are made with hash browns. Sometimes they are made with cream of chicken soup, sometimes with cream of celery soup, and sometimes with cream of mushroom soup. And sometimes people go crazy and use two kinds of soup in one dish! Some recipes have no soup at all but substitute cream, evaporated milk, or other creamy substitutes. And some top it off with bread crumbs, some with cracker crumbs, some with corn flakes, and some with frosted flakes.

But in spite of the variations, it is a traditional dish at meals served after Mormon funerals in Utah.

Is it good? I don't know. When we went to my niece's funeral in December, there were no funeral potatoes. My sister-in-law hates them and insisted that none be served. So I can't give you first hand experience of the dish.

But while visiting Georgia for my mom's funeral, we were lucky enough to have many people volunteering to provide meals to our family. My cousin's church provided a meal. My uncle's church provided a meal. My mom's church provided a meal. Even the funeral home provided a meal. There were no funeral potatoes. However, there were other foods that clearly represent the southern funeral. Fried chicken. I guess we could call it funeral chicken now. Every meal that was served by some church or other group had fried chicken as the primary - and often the only - entree. And it was also clear that every platter of fried chicken was destined to be served with something creamy and white. Potato salad...macaroni salad...or cole slaw. One of those was piled high next to every mound of the funeral fried chicken.

Am I complaining? Nope. I love fried chicken and potato salad. I like macaroni salad. I don't understand how anyone can eat cole slaw, but that's just me. But the chicken and potato salad...delicious.

However, there was one thing missing at every meal. Veggies. No green salad. No beans. No broccoli. No asparagus. Nothing that could be classified as a vegetable. And we all started to miss that. At one point, the five of us went to a restaurant just to order the salad bar. It was wonderful!

But the whole experience offered this interesting opportunity to observe the different traditional foods served around funerals. Makes me wonder what might show up at other parts of the country. And what might be missing.

I have returned. Again.

2008-02-12T08:32:00.000-05:00

I promise I'm not starting and stopping just to get attention. I am not competing for the title of World's Most Inconsistent Blogger. But just when I think I'm back on track...

My mom passed away on Sunday, Feb. 3. I never even saw the Super Bowl that I had so eagerly anticipated. Instead, I spent my evening making plane reservations, rental car reservations, and packing for a trip to Georgia.

My mom had a good life. She had not struggled with illness. She was as healthy as an 83 year old could possibly be. But that didn't stop the heart attack.

It was a long week of sadness, travel, finalizing plans, seeing family that I had not seen in years, and taking the first baby steps in the long process of dealing with her home and her belongings and any financial issues that need to be dealt with. And that process won't be an easy one to accomplish long distance...so I know I'll be traveling back and forth from CT to GA several times over the next few months. In fact, I'll be there again for part of next week.

This is two unexpected and very sad deaths in our family in just 9 weeks. That is too much. I'm crossing my fingers that my family can get a little bit of a break from such sadness.

And as I travel back and forth, I'll post when I can. I'm sure there will be observations and stories to tell.

For one thing...it is quite a shock to the biological system to board a plane in Atlanta when it is 69 degrees...and step off that same plane just two and half hours later in Connecticut where it was 22 degrees. The temperature changed very quickly. My body did not adjust at that same pace! Brrrrrr!!!

The Countdown Continues

2008-02-01T19:59:00.000-05:00

I've been watching the pre-pregame coverage for 12 days now. Interviews with the coaches mothers. Analysis of how they grow grass on the field. And that wonderful special on which stadium has the best hot dog. I'm loving every minute of it.

What? Pregame to what? Surely you jest!

But just in case you missed it, the Super Bowl is this Sunday. And MY Patriots are playing. That's the PERFECT New England Patriots. They will be taking on the long-shot New York Giants. The two teams are just a short drive apart...and my house is just about dead center between the two stadiums.

Trust me, everyone around here has a serious opinion about how this thing is gonna turn out. We've been wearing our Patriots hats and our Giants jerseys and singing the Tom Brady theme song day and night.

But perhaps you don't care. Perhaps you don't live in the tiny corner of the US where these two teams reside. Maybe you live in Texas...or Minnesota...or Georgia. Anywhere but the New England area. And these two teams were just annoyances that got in your team's way this year.

Heck, perhaps you don't even like football. Though the mere thought of that is unsettling.

But if you are out there not caring...trust me, I'll be enjoying it enough for both of us!

Now I would review each game of their PERFECT season...and the beauty of the 3-4 defense...but I'm pretty sure highlights of previous Super Bowls will be on in a minute...followed by interviews with people who knew someone who had a cousin who actually attended a Super Bowl one time. Can't miss that!!

The Birthday Girl

2008-01-27T22:47:00.000-05:00

Today is a big day in our house! Today is my wife's birthday. And before you even think about a number, you can be sure I'm not going to reveal her age. I have learned a few things in all our years of marriage! LOL (Don't even try counting the candles...it is not the right number!)

It was a very relaxing day...she got to sleep in...she got to spend an afternoon watching DVD's and opening gifts...and the family went out to dinner.

And what big, romantic gift did I give her? Nothing. At least nothing romantic. No jewelry. No flowers. Nope...it was way better than that. It was better because I gave her something she truly loves. Something she really wanted. Something that will entertain her and make her happy for hours and hours. And hours!

So what was this magical gift?

The X-Files.

Not just one season. Not just the movie. Everything! All nine seasons, the movie, the movie poster, the episode guide...everything.

She'll be watching DVD's for a long time...and loving every minute of it.

Happy Birthday!

You came looking for me...

2008-01-25T11:37:00.000-05:00

I know...I've been away. Haven't posted since New Year's Day. But here is just how awesome you guys have been...

tulipmom stopped by "just checking in"

whimsical, who never fails to check on me with a comment and/or an e-mail, stopped to ask "is everything ok?"

CS left a message hoping that my cold was not still hanging on and keeping me down

Mama P said...well...it was about sex so we'll leave it at that

And then Gretchen said... "you never write...you don't call...what's up?"

You got me Gretchen. I've not called. Or written. So I would do that right now...except...I don't know your phone number nor your address. So let's pretend...

Your phone is ringing...you run to pick it up (thinking it is probably a poll for Clinton or Obama and why can't they just leave you alone!?!?)...and it is me! "Hey friend, how ya doing?!?!" Then we talk...we share funny stories...we compare what we got for Christmas...and life is good again. :)

For all the rest of you that have commented or e-mailed but that I didn't pretend-call, I have been away. Not for any dramatic reason. Work has just been crazy busy. Home life has been busy. And it takes a lot more time than you would think to figure out how to hide a receding hairline.

Does that mean I'm back now? Yeah, I think so. Things seem to be slowing down a bit. Everyone had the cold. Everyone is over the cold. And I haven't had to spend too much time shoveling snow lately. And my Patriots only have one more game to play. So I think I may actually find time for the fun things I enjoy again. And writing would definitely be one of those things.

And just as much fun will be visiting your blogs! It has been so long it may take me all weekend to get around to everyone and catch up on what's been going on. But I'll get there. And it will be good to see each of you again.

Did you? Do you?

2008-01-01T10:22:00.001-05:00

Did you party and drink and eat and then set resolutions not to party and drink and eat so much? Or are you a stay-at-home, avoid the crowds, sit by the fire and watch TV kind of New Year's person?

We are the home type. The crowds hold no lure for us. We had wonderful snacks, hung out with the kids, watched some DVD's, and celebrated the new year in a quiet way. And it was nice.

And now it is New Year's Day. The snow is falling. And we are snuggled in by the fire for our last day off before returning to school and work. And it would be a perfect day....except...

I have the cold. No sore throat. No fever. But enough congestion to be in the Guinness Book of World Records. Not to put too fine a point on it, but my head is filled with snot...and the extra is leaking out. And this is actually Day 5 of the cold...so everyone is tired of hearing me snort and blow and sniff.

I tried taking the pills. Twelve hour relief with just one capsule. Bah. I might as well have been eating Tic Tacs. All that happens is that I have to suffer for twelve hours before trying something else.

I could do that liquid stuff. But I've never felt like that helped either. Sure, it makes me sleepy and I can take a long nap. But that isn't curing anything...just letting me sleep through the cold and wake up when it is over. And if that is all it does, why bother to buy it? I can achieve the same thing with liquor.

But for congestion...sniffles....stuffy noses...there is a remedy that I love. It works quickly...and reliably. When all else fails, I reach for the nose spray. A couple of squirts right up the nostrils and I'm breathing like a normal human again!

Now I know that isn't curing anything. I'm just getting rid of a symptom. But since that is the only symptom I have...it feels like I'm cured. Until the twelve hours is almost over...and all the snot that has been held back comes rushing out. And I go running for my spray again. The vicious Snot Cycle.

But maybe the cold will be gone soon? Positive thinking, right?!?!

Well, if you've read through my ramblings about my cold (or if you just scrolled to the bottom hoping for something more interesting to read)...

Happy New Year to you!!!

The in-laws have left the building

2007-12-29T11:16:00.001-05:00

I love my in-laws. And I'm being serious, not sarcastic. But I also love when they go home! And they left just an hour or so ago after a six day visit. Which felt like a day and a half too long.

Grandpa's constant ~~criticizing~~ teasing of the kids about what foods they don't like to eat.

Grandma's allergic reactions to our dog.

Grandpa's outbursts every time someone in another car did any little thing the he perceived as poor driving.

Grandma's many ~~criticisms~~ questions about our house. (Did you know it would be this color when you painted? Do you really like this carpet? Did you think about putting the couch against that wall?)

They can be fun to be around. We put together puzzles. We played Scattergories and Spinners. We went out to dinner and a movie. But for some reason, everyone seemed to be struggling to be on their best behavior this year.

And now they are on their way home. We have our house back. And almost immediately, all five of us went to different rooms for some peace and tranquility. We've had enough "together" time...and now we just need some quiet time.

So if you call today, we might not answer the phone. We'll be enjoying the quiet.

That was then...this is now

2007-12-27T10:37:00.000-05:00

It is 48 hours since we opened our gifts on Christmas morning. And I'm very aware of how different my Christmas has become.

A few years back, much of Christmas day and the days following would have been filled with assembling toys, helping kids figure out how to use toys, putting stickers and decals on toys, and playing with the kids and their toys.

Now, 48 hours since they opened their gifts, and the only times I've seen the kids have been at meals.

Son20, gleeful over two new games for his Xbox, has barely left his room. I'm sure there is some carpel tunnel stuff going on with that game controller. He has his headphone on, talking with other players around the globe, and barely aware of anything else. Oh sure, he has invited both siblings in to watch and to play. And he even told us how awesome the games were. But other than that, he hasn't been visible.

Son17 got a portable DVD player and some DVD's to watch. Other than checking with us about how to recharge the battery, we haven't talked with him much. For a while he sat in the same room with his headphones on and giggled at The Simpson's Christmas...but eventually we sent him to a different room so we could talk over the laughter.

And Daughter14...got a new iPod. She has shown up for meals...with her ear buds firmly in place. Other than that, it is as if she were abducted by aliens.

And don't get me wrong...our kids got other things. Books, clothes, etc. Things they had requested. But the electronic gadgetry was shining so brightly that those other items got lost in the glow.

Do I miss spending time putting together things? Playing with things? Swearing at the things that don't go together easily? Sure. I miss those days. But it sure feels more relaxing this way. And it even means I get to pay attention to my gifts! That never happened when the kids were young!

A greeting of the season

2007-12-21T09:07:00.001-05:00

A Blessed Yule and Happy Solstice to all!

A blanket of serenity

2007-12-16T11:43:00.000-05:00

We had our first big snow on Thursday. The forecast said 3-6 inches. We got 13.5. It was beautiful and yet, since I had to get home from work in it, travel back to the airport to get my wife, and then get home safely late that night, it was not a snow that I could enjoy. It just added to the stress of the day.

But last night and today we've had a few more inches of snow and sleet. Church was canceled. My family is all safe at home. And we are able to just sit inside near the fire and enjoy a very relaxing day. The first such day in two weeks.

I was outside early this morning with the dog. A mix of snow and sleet was falling. And it was so peaceful. The world was quiet and a blanket of pristine snow covered everything. I enjoy the beauty. I enjoy the quiet. I enjoy having my family safe at home.

If you have snow or ice today, I hope you can enjoy it!

Deeply felt gratitude

2007-12-14T12:00:00.000-05:00

I've gotten so many wonderful comments and e-mails in response to my last posting. I am so thankful for all the kind words of support. My wife finally made it home last night...our little family is all together again...and in spite of sadness that will be with us for a long time, we are looking forward to a nice, quiet holiday season together.

I'll be visiting you very soon...cause I've missed you!

A sad and unplanned absence

2007-12-11T10:32:00.000-05:00

Generally I try to write some entertaining stories about my life. Not that my life is always entertaining, but who wants to read about the boring parts!

This particular entry is not fun.

Some of you have written and asked where I've been. I've been taking a break from the blog and from many aspects of my life the last 10 days or so...and not for a good reason. My 16-year-old niece died ten days ago. She was the youngest child of my wife's only sister.

She was injured in a sledding accident. She was transported by lifestar to a trauma center where all efforts were made to help her. But she never regained consciousness. And she passed away in the early hours of Sunday, December 2.

There is nothing that can prepare us for losing a young person in such a sudden and tragic way. I've gone through feelings of profound sadness, shock, anger, and total exhaustion - mentally, physically, and emotionally.

My sister-in-law lives just outside Salt Lake City. So we gathered our kids and flew there to be with them. We were there for the formal events surrounding her death - the viewing and the funeral. Our two sons and I were asked to be pall bearers. It was a very sad task, but also a real honor to help lay her to rest. It seems just doing something was helpful to us.

And that was true for the extra days we were there. The time to just be with extended family was nurturing. But there was always that sense of just wanting to do something...wanting to find some way to be helpful. Cooking. Shopping. Anything that could be done just to keep our hands and minds a bit distracted helped us through the days and nights.

My wife is still in Salt Lake with her sister so that she can help as they begin to sort through my niece's things.

I'm back at work. The kids are back at school. And we are slowly returning to the normal aspects of our lives. And there is much comfort in just fitting in to those things again. And that includes writing in my corner. I'm glad to be back.

For my niece's family, the road back to "normal" will be very long and difficult. My love and prayers go out to them.

Kristy was a wonderful young woman. We loved her very much. And she will be missed.

I got my eye on you!

2007-11-16T18:58:00.000-05:00

Supervising teenagers is a dangerous and challenging profession. Without any help from others, they are genetically driven to do stupid and dangerous things. And they certainly won't take much advice from anyone who just might...might...have some clue about how life works.

But before I go off on a tangent about teenagers (okay, MY teenagers...not just teenagers in general), let me get to the point of this. Which is not just about supervising teens. It is more about supervising teens who are dating.

So far, in our house, that has been our oldest son...Son20. Now that he is 20, we pretty much just hope that we've taught him well enough that he won't do every stupid thing he thinks of. And we know he has plenty of condoms. And the girl he dates is pleasant and mostly polite and they seem to treat each other with respect and affection.

But he wasn't always 20. There were the girls he dated when he was going through high school. And along the way, there were all the rules about how one light must be on when the two of you are watching TV...you can't both lay down on the couch under the blanket to watch TV...you can't take the girls to your room even if they really do want to play Nintendo...etc...etc...etc. And for the most part, he is a good kid and listened.

But it may be different when Daughter14 finally starts to date. It might be time to break out the intimidation stick and beat a couple boys with the stern looks and threatening presence. The problem is, I just don't have it in me. I'm pretty thin...so I don't look very threatening. And I have some concern that my stern look really looks more like I might have a bit of gas. So we might have to think outside the box on this one.

Like the first girl Son20 dated. Her parents were nice and polite. But for some reason, the kids always preferred to get together at our house to watch TV rather than go to her house. It wasn't until after they broke up that Son20 revealed the reason. It seems when they would watch TV at her house, the rule was the door to the family must stay open. Well, no problem there. But just around the corner from the family room door, in the living room, her dad would take that opportunity to clean his gun. Every time. It was the cleanest gun in Connecticut, without a doubt.

It was also the two most intimidated kids on the east coast!

I don't own a gun. Not a real one anyway. But I'm sure I've got that Nerf pistol around here somewhere!

Wanna catch a movie?

2007-11-12T21:04:00.000-05:00

A couple of days ago I got an e-mail invitation from Dorky Dad's Facebook page. He invited me to check out our movie compatibility. How could I resist? I mean, if we only lived about 1300 miles closer together, we might even be able to catch a movie together. Just two good blogger buddies hanging out at the cinema.

But then I took the little quiz. Oops!

While we scored as "casual buddies", it seems clear that if we tried to choose a comedy we would both enjoy, the entire outing would end in a war of raisinetes and goobers. On the other hand, we do seem pretty compatible on the...uhhh...love stuff. But I don't think I'm driving 1300 miles just so Dorky Dad and I can share a box of kleenex while we sniff our way through The Way We Were.

But the fun thing about this Facebook movie compatibility test was that it also let me compare my score to any other friends who had taken the quiz. Again, how could I resist?

And who would I match up with best? Jessica from Oh The Joys!

It looks like we could spend a fun evening at the movies and not have any difficulty at all in finding a movie we would both enjoy. Sounds good to me!

So Jessica, just let me know when you're free and I'll meet you in the lobby.

I'll be the one in the Park Ranger outfit. ;)

Let me be your hero!

2007-11-09T16:18:00.000-05:00

I know, I've not written for a while. Bad blogger! But I've had to write so much for work that I was tired of writing. I wasn't totally absent. I've tried to visit your sites now and then. But sometimes leaving a comment was even more typing than I could manage. And some of you have written just to check on me...and I'm greatly appreciate that!

But while things at work left me not wanting to write, it didn't entirely stop me from having some fun. No way. I definitely needed some recreation and the kids have provided it. They have totally sucked me in and now I'm addicted.

That's right...I'm a Guitar Hero!

The kids have been playing this thing for months. Guitar Hero I and II. And of course, Rocks the 80's. I've watched from time to time...but it didn't have that much appeal. Until the finally talked me into trying just one song. They finally put that cherry red Gibson SG in my hands...and I was a rock star.

OMG! How is it possible to have that much fun without really playing the music? I don't know...but I did! Single player mode or multi-player mode. Choose your level and off you go, rocking the house with some awesomely hot licks. Iron Man. I Love Rock and Roll. Killer Queen. Free Bird. I can play them all!

Okay, so I mostly play on the Easy or Medium level while the kids are doing Expert, Career Mode, etc. Big deal. I can always play when they aren't around!

I don't own any leather pants and it has been years since I've had long hair. But don't let that stop you! Go ahead, throw your keys and your undies. Well, gentlemen, you can hang on to your undies! But you can still stand on your chair, hold up your lighters (or in these days, your cell phones), and enjoy the show!

But I promise to take a bit of time from my concert tour to write a bit more often in the future.

Blog Action on the Environment

2007-10-15T18:34:00.000-04:00

Blog Action Day and many of us are writing about our contribution to the environment. But more than my contribution, I'm mostly reminded of how much I don't do.

Oh sure, I drive a small car that gets good mileage, but I've never given any thought to car pooling. And we recycle our glass and paper and plastic, and yet we still contribute far too much to the landfill. So sometimes I feel like our efforts won't really make a lot of difference.

But one of our choices has proven me wrong. I've written before about our membership in a local farm that engages in Community Supported Agriculture. We just completed our second year of membership. And it has been a fantastic experience. We consistently get far more produce for our money than we would ever get at the supermarket. Everything we get is fresh picked. It is all grown organically. And we are supporting a local farmer. I feel really good about this and the food is awesome! We eat fresh produce every day for the entire summer and our freezer is packed with frozen veggies and tomato sauce and salsa. We'll be eating food from the farm all winter.

And the support of the farm has been a good thing. The membership in the farm has grown every year. This farm had been a community supported farm for several years before we joined, but in our first year, there were 50 members. This year, it increased to 85...and he turned away close to 40 more. But the support of the local community has allowed him to purchase extra farmland and next year he'll be able to provide food to nearly 125 families in the area.

Local. No fuel or pollution to transport it. Organic. No fertilizers or pesticides in the earth. It tastes fantastic. And I actually get to meet and know the farmer that grows food for my family.

This is one contribution to the environment that I really do think makes a big difference.

Still in my corner...

2007-10-08T19:16:00.000-04:00

I began blogging one year ago. In that time I've written 127 posts (this makes 128). I've had a lot of fun thinking about topics. I've become a little more tuned in to the little details of my day as I ponder whether or not something would make good blog material. I've had a chance to try to write creatively in both serious and humorous posts. And I've had a blast.

But that is not the best part of this experience. The totally unexpected aspect of this has been building a community with other bloggers.

See, I never expected anyone to really read this thing! I'm not writing about anything deep or thought-provoking. And there are certainly more creative folks out there. So I expected to write for my own fun and that would be it.

But people did read. Many of you read more than once, even! And you keep coming back. While I've only written 127 posts, I've had just over 12,000 visitors!!! And you've left several thousand comments. Some of you know quite a bit about me and my family by now. And that is awesome.

And I've come to read your blogs. I feel like I "know" many of you now and I look forward to each new item you share. And I still open up my browser and read your posts and leave my comments with a certain sense of awe that you are in Alaska, Canada, Tennessee, Australia, Texas, France, the Philippines, California, Minnesota, South Carolina, England, and yes, even here in Connecticut.

Your posts, your comments, our visits back and forth have connected me with people that I would never meet in real life. Some of those visits have been short. Some of us have traded comments and read about each other a whole bunch of times over the past year. And in some cases, the posts and comments have turned into conversations via e-mail, giving us time to share even more.

When I started this thing, I wondered if I would stick with it. Would I run out of things to say? Would I get bored talking about my own life - which frankly, isn't that fascinating. Would I just get distracted and forget. But none of those things happened. I'm still here in my corner and I'm looking forward to Post #129!

And I'm looking forward to more conversations with you.

In honor of me? Aw, shucks.

2007-10-07T08:46:00.000-04:00

I gotta give a shout out to the wonderful folks at Sam Adams Brewery. I mean, how often does a big corporation take time to recognize one individual customer? It simply does not happen.

And yet, they did it. They created a brew just for me.

It surprised me that they did it. Yes, I only drink Sam Adams. But no, I don't drink a lot. So the CEO isn't buying a new yacht based on what I spend.

And yet, they must have done this in my honor. They named it after this month. And my birthday is later this month. Coincidence? I think not. I'm taking full credit for the existence of this tasty seasonal beverage.

Oh I'm sure some of you will say...nay, nay Em...it is in honor of the Oktoberfest festival in Munich. Sure, Oktoberfest is the world's largest fair, drawing more than six million people every year. And yes, they serve a special beer at the festival which is brewed only by select Munich brewers specifically for the festival and served in their giant beer tents. And yes, the entire festival kicks off when the Mayor of Munich taps the first keg. But that is way over there in Germany. With their special beer. In the tents.

This is here...with a different special beer...in my house. In the month of my birthday.

Synchronicity.

I'm not really complaining...but...

2007-10-06T16:40:00.001-04:00

Almost 5:00 on Saturday afternoon, October 6. This just isn't typical!

I love warm weather. But I also love the fall. If this keeps up, we'll be Trick or Treating with sunscreen! I think I'm ready for a touch of New England fall.

Birthday time at our house!

2007-10-02T19:16:00.001-04:00

It is official. Daughter13 is now Daughter14. Today is the big day. In fact, just about an hour ago would have been the official moment - 14 years since she entered the world.

We've opened the presents. We've been out to dinner. And in just a little while we'll have the cake (with blue frosting, her favorite color!). And throughout the evening she'll talk on the phone with various relatives near and far.

She is actually having her party with friends a couple of weeks from now. They are all going bowling...which really involves a little bowling and a lot of eating cheese fries from the snack bar.

By the way, for those of you who congratulated her on her smart move of sending her wish list to me via e-mail...the strategy was a big success. She scored everything on the list!

Happy birthday, cutie. We love you!

Work, Retreat, Breaking & Entering

2007-10-01T19:19:00.001-04:00

Ten days since my last post! I've been around to visit just a few of you in that time, but not many. So what has kept me away?

Work. Things have just been crazy at work. Going in early. Staying late. Not even time to visit a couple of blogs on my lunch break. Why so busy? My assistant has been out for almost a week with some viral/plague/influenza/ebola thing. Apparently it is going around as numerous staff have been out. A few tried to show up to work, but quickly gave up and went back home to lie on their couch and die. For those who merely coughed up a lung but avoided the Grim Reaper, they are slowly returning to work. My assistant made it back today, but going up a flight of stairs nearly pushed him over into the great beyond.

Retreat. I've mentioned before that I'm on the Policy Board for our church. And this past weekend was our leadership retreat. A couple of days of workshops ranging from really good to "can I kill myself now?" What made it a retreat and not just a workshop? Cause we went somewhere else. We retreated. We retreated all the way to a neighboring town and had our meetings in their church. A long weekend, but not bad.

Breaking & Entering. Let me start by saying I didn't mean to break and enter. I just meant to enter. I was the poor sap in charge of breakfast on Saturday morning for our retreat. So on Friday night, the key was passed over to me so that I could arrive early and get the coffee going. Which is exactly what I did. I unlocked the door, picked up my bags of bagels and danish and coffee supplies, and got about ten steps inside the building when the loudest alarm I've ever heard started to blare. Needless to say, I was surprised! No one had told us there was an alarm!! As I stood frozen in place, wondering what to do, a recorded voice began screaming, even louder than the alarm. I didn't stand around long enough to commit the recording to memory, but it went something like...

EMERGENCY BURGLAR ALERT!!! YOU HAVE ENTERED A PROTECTED AREA!!! PLEASE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!!! EMERGENCY BURGLAR ALERT!!! YOU HAVE ENTERED A PROTECTED AREA!!! PLEASE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!!! EMERGENCY BURGLAR ALERT!!! YOU HAVE ENTERED A PROTECTED AREA!!! PLEASE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!!!

You get the idea. Loud and intimidating.

I backed out of the building, locked the door, and waited for the police to arrive - wondering if the fact that I had a key to the building would protect me from incarceration. I had no phone number to contact anyone from that church. And no one else from my church had arrived yet.

But no cops ever showed up. And eventually the alarm stopped. And when confronted with the possibility of facing multiple indictments of breaking and entering versus facing church folk with no coffee to drink, I decided to try it again.

No problem. No alarm. Apparently it was on some sort of timer and the timer now viewed me as "friend" rather than "foe" because I was coming in the door at the right time. So the coffee got made. I got a couple of extra gray hairs. And a very long and tiring week came to an end.

The B'day List

2007-09-21T11:47:00.001-04:00

That was the subject line on the e-mail.

I spend a lot of time at my computer. At work, technology is my job, so I'm almost always looking at my screen, using photoshop, setting up keynote slides, creating training handouts, and checking my 7 different e-mail accounts.

Then I get home...and use the computer a lot there, as well. Blogging. Reading blogs. Browsing web sites. Etc. Etc. Etc.

I'm not saying I ignore my family. You guys know I spend plenty of time doing the family stuff. But still, I love my computer time, as well.

And Daughter13 is no dummy! Her birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. And she has a list of wants and needs. But she didn't just scribble it out and hand it to me or her mom. And she didn't just tell us about it over dinner.

Nope, she knew just how to put that list where I would be most certain of seeing it and dealing with it.

She e-mailed it to me. With instructions that said I could "print it out when I went shopping".

Now is that a kid who knows how to get things done, or what?!?

Brought to you by the letter P

2007-09-14T22:52:00.000-04:00

My friend cs has tagged me with this little meme. It seems simple enough...write about seven words that begin with the letter P. All I have to do is choose seven words and start writing.

Yeah, I know. Seven words that begin with P. I was tempted. What a list of P words that came to mind! P words in the bathroom. P words in the bedroom. Body parts and body functions. All starting with P.

But that would be too easy. Besides, if you read the words chosen by cs, you'll see that she set the bar a little bit higher than the words that first raced around in my brain.

So I've chosen different words to explore - all beginning with the letter P.

Parent. I've got three kids between 13 and 20 years of age. And one of our kids has multiple special needs. So for the past twenty years, one of the most significant aspects of my life has been parenting. And I feel good about my parenting. I'm not great at it but I take it very seriously. I'm not always conventional or predictable. But I have a great time with my kids. And no matter how old they get, I'll always have the pleasure of being their parent.

Partner. There are so many ways to describe my relationship with my wife. Spouses. Lovers. Best friends. Soul mates. Some terms seem more romantic, some seem more practical. And they all imply different aspects of our relationship. And 'partner' is certainly one aspect that is very important. We share in having fun and also in making tough decisions. We share in the challenges of raising a family and making a home. We support each other when money is tight and we celebrate together when things are going well. We are partners - side by side, sharing in all aspects of life.

Pagan. Just a couple of weeks ago, I participated in the Joys & Trials meme. In the comments, a couple of folks asked questions about just what spiritual path I followed. I grew up in a conservative Southern Baptist family. Upon reaching adulthood and moving away from home, I stopped attending church and didn't really even think about religion for many years. When I finally returned to a church, I chose Unitarian Universalism, a church that has no specific doctrine, giving me the opportunity to explore based on my own interests and feelings. And that exploration has led me through a much more liberal perspective on Christianity, some Buddhist study, a lot of reading on Quantum Theology, and paganism. I'll admit, I don't practice any pathway as much as I think I should. But I do seem to have settled into a belief system that is sort of a blending of a few of my original beliefs combined with some of the quantum theories and a lot of paganism. I've sometimes referred to myself as a solitary autodidactic eclectic. Just a fancy way of saying I sort of make it up as I go along. But for me, it has to be that way. There are aspects of different spiritual pathways that are meaningful to me and I incorporate those into my beliefs. But I probably pull the most from paganism. I love the connection to nature, the feelings of mystery, the historical connections to old Celtic practices. The more I really pay attention to my body, the more aware I am of just how much I am influenced by the changing of the seasons and by spending time outdoors. And pagan spirituality reinforces that for me on many levels. I used to think I had to pick a path and stick with it. Sort of the "finding the right way" attitude. Now I know that, for me at least, it will always be a learning process, growing as I grow.

Play. I love to play. I enjoy board games and card games. I love to just be silly. I'm sure everyone in my family would tell you that I rarely act my age. But who says old guys have to act serious? My daughter just told me this week that one of her friends told her that she really liked me and wished her dad was more fun. You just can't beat that kind of review!

Pets. Animals have been a huge part of our family. At the moment, we only have five - one dog, two turtles, and two rabbits. But we've had as many as twenty at a time including dogs, cats, turtles, rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, and fish. Some of our animals have been entered into the local fairs. We've even had a couple of Grand Champions! And just in case all those animals weren't enough, we've also been a foster family for raising guide dog puppies a couple of times. All those extra paws and claws and fins certainly make our house a fun place to be.

Present. Nope, not like a birthday present (though you can send me a present any time you want!) I'm talking about being present. In the moment. This is my personal challenge - to really be present in the moment. It is so easy to be sitting in the sun or floating in the lake while my brain reviews things I need to do at work. I can go out to dinner with my family and find myself planning things I need to get done on the weekend. And I'm trying to stop that. To learn to really be present in the moment. To embrace each activity as it happens. There will be plenty of time for work when I get to work. Plenty of time for chores and paying bills. My kids are growing up fast and I want to really live in every minute.

Word seven. But cs established a pattern (oh look, another P word!). She chose to only write about six words. That seems perfect (there's another one). So I'm going parrot her lead and do the same (okay, am I trying too hard now?).

But I do need pass this P meme along to another blogger. And to do that, I'm going to the Pole. The North Pole. Well, nearly that far. I'm passing it along to Kati in Alaska. Have fun, Kati! I'm eager to see what you do with the P's!

OUCH!

2007-09-13T16:13:00.000-04:00

After 5 days of healing, it is starting to look pretty good. You should have seen it on the first day. Ugly and oozing. Both cuts are about four inches long. And it hurt!

I'm not bothering to say how it happened because the story is just too mundane. But I think one of these cuts may leave a bit of a scar. So I'll need a not-so-mundane story. I'm torn between wild sex and bear attack. But I'm open to other ideas.

Oh...first time I've ever shaved part of my leg. That was odd. But I do have baby-soft skin. :)

My wife suggested I just go all the way and give my self a little Brazilian styling. She is so funny sometimes.

A Friendly Wager

2007-09-11T09:23:00.000-04:00

Son20 and I both love pro football. We were thrilled to sit through opening weekend. We watched our beloved Patriots. But we also watched every other game we could find - flipping channels when more than one game was on. It was sweet!

And just to make this season a little more fun for us, we have a little wager going. Each week we select who we think will win all the games. The best record for the weekend wins that weekend. The one with the most weekend wins at the end of the season takes the other out to dinner.

And I had a good weekend. I was winning. I was winning right up to the last 22 seconds of the second game on Monday night. The last 22 seconds of the entire weekend of games. And then San Francisco scored a winning touchdown.

Now I'm just one week closer to buying a steak dinner.

While I was away...

2007-09-08T13:48:00.001-04:00

Just before school began, I was away from the blogosphere for a while. A little time camping. A few days of working extra hours. And when I got back to this corner, I was surprised and honored to find that three different bloggers had passed along blog awards to me.

Talk about a shock! When I started blogging I really didn't expect anyone to read it. And I certainly never expected anyone to check in on a regular basis. But many of you do and it is more fun than I ever imagined. And to get a pat on the back along the way is just very cool.

Jenster, who has a wonderful blog, tapped me with the Blogger Reflection Award. The award gets passed along to bloggers who have been an encouragement, a source of love, impacted you in some way, and have been a Godly example to you. Bloggers who, when you reflect on them you get a sense of pride and joy… of knowing them and being blessed by them.

Wow, quite an honor to have Jenster think so highly of some of the things I've written. Thank you!

Now the rules of the award...

1. Copy this set of rules.
2. Reflect on five bloggers and write a least a paragraph about each one.
3. Make sure you link this post so others can read it and the rules.
4. Go leave your chosen bloggers a comment and let them know they’ve been given the award.
5. Put the award icon on your site.

I'll proudly display the icon. And I read more than five blogs that really touch me with their writing. But I'll narrow it down to five for the moment and here they are...

Nancy at Just Thinking... certainly qualifies as a reflective blogger. She writes about her life and family, but she also speaks courageously about her concerns for the world, the environment, and the people that live on the planet.

Wizened Wizard is definitely someone I feel proud to know - at least as much as you can know someone through their blog. She continues to amaze me with her thoughtful writing and her love and respect for nature (and her amazing photos) keep me coming back to her blog day after day.

Radioactive Girl is an inspiration. She has shared openly and bravely about her battles with cancer and the health concerns of her children. Of course that isn't all her blog is about. All of her writing is great to read.

Many people would claim that a seventeen year old kid isn't very reflective. In most cases, I might agree. But there is one seventeen year old who has great insight and writes about it so well, she clearly sets the bar higher for all of us. Theory of Thought definitely earns this blogging award with her writing.

Lastly, one of my newest blogging friends is Darren over at Clare's Dad. For the past year or so, he has been a stay-at-home dad with his pre-school daughter and has written a lot about the joys of sharing that time together. Now, she is off to school and he is off to find a job outside the home. I can't wait to see what happens next.

In addition to the Reflective Blogger Award, two people passed along the Nice Matters Award. This award gets passed to people who are just plain nice. And frankly, that's about a high a compliment as you can get!

The two folks who passed it along to me are pretty darn nice, too! Which explains why they got the award. Tulip Mom is a stay-at-home mom raising her son with Asperger's Syndrome. But she doesn't stop there. She writes about parenting plus a whole bunch of other stuff at her blog. And then there is Dorky Dad. When it comes to writing entertaining blogs, DD is the guru, the Peyton Manning of blogging. If you don't know who Peyton Manning is, he is a pretty decent football player - which is hard to admit for a real New England fan. But it isn't hard to admit that Dorky Dad is a totally rocking blogger. And I would have nominated both of these if they hadn't already been honored.

Fortunately, so that you can stop reading soon, this award has no rules that require me to write individual little paragraphs about my nominees. So let me just say that all five of these folks are super nice. They've all left comments and/or sent e-mail that encouraged me along the way with my blogging. And they all write blogs that I love to visit. So my nominees for the Nice Matters Award are...

Jocelyn at O Mighty Crisis - a great entertainer with her writing
CS at another tangential thinker - great writing with terrific photos
Big Brother - he IS watching...and writing about it.
Whim at The Babblings of Whimsicalnbrainpan - she has been through a lot (you can read all about it) and she is an amazing person
Charlotta (who looks just like Wonder Woman!) and is very supportive to other bloggers.

These are all terrific bloggers and totally deserve recognition for being super nice.

It is an honor to get these awards...but an even bigger honor to shine a little light on some of my favorite bloggers!

The 3 Kinds of People

2007-09-06T15:49:00.001-04:00

Son20 started his new year in college last week. One of his courses is Criminal Justice. He anticipated a class with a bunch of political science majors discussing the justice system. He was half right. The other half of the class is apparently populated with people planning to go into a career of law enforcement. That alters the class just a bit, but no problem.

But then they all met the professor. This guy is an ex-military, ex-law enforcement, homeland security-loving, gung-ho kind of a guy. His first comment in the first class was to give the one and only class rule. No sandals. Apparently they "ruin your stance" making it much more difficult to walk a beat later in life.

His next comment was on the seating arrangement in the class. And this is where Son20 learned about the types of people in the world. According to the professor, you can figure out which kind of person you are if you imagine standing in a circle of people when a hand grenade is tossed into the center of the circle. One type of person will run away looking for safety. One type of person will freeze in place from the fear.. And the last type of person will throw themselves on the grenade in an effort to protect others.

Having given that description of the 3 types of people in the world, the professor then said he needed four people who were the "jump on the grenade type" to sit nearest the door. He said if a terrorist entered the class, he was willing to jump in front of him and take the first bullet. But the professor felt it would take up to four additional people to help subdue and disarm the terrorist. So the professor scanned the room and asked if there were four volunteers.

Son20, who just happened to be sitting closest to the door, was the only person who moved. He slowly gathered his books and pencils, stuffed it all in his backpack, stood up and announced to the class (which was still a bit stunned from this opening salvo from the professor)..."I'm pretty sure I'm a runner". And he slowly made his way to the far corner of the room.

Once Son20 made the first move, a few other students shuffled around, basically leaving the corner nearest the door barren. I guess it went a little beyond a typical classroom seating chart to try to group all the grenade jumpers in one corner.

What Girls Wear

2007-09-04T12:55:00.000-04:00

I went back-to-school shopping with Daughter13 and my wife a couple of weeks ago. I know, the first thing that pops into your head is "am I insane?" Nope. I actually thought it would be a supportive and helpful thing to do. So we headed to the mall for school clothing.

As we entered the first store, I made my move. I asked what sizes my daughter wore so I could assist in the search. Again you wonder, have I lost my mind? Nope. But I knew if I didn't stake my claim as a "helper" right up front, I would end up sitting in the corner holding the purses. Or worse yet, sent to the food court till the entire event was complete.

As it turns out, Daughter13 was not 100% humiliated to have me helping, so she actually responded to my question. She shrugged. Not being entirely sure what size the shrug indicated, I turned to my wife. She ventured that she wasn't certain, this being our daughter's first time moving up from the girl's department to full-blown adult wear, but she thought we should look for a size 1 in jeans.

One? How can someone who is thirteen years old wear a one?!?! I thought those were for babies. Remember the 1T size? How did we get back to a '1' all over again?

Not wanting to rock the boat, I kept my mouth shut and went to look for jeans in size one. Once a few different pairs of jeans had been located, Daughter13 went to try things on. And guess what? They were too big.

So now what? Turns out there is a size zero. Zero. As in nothing. How freaking small must a pair of jeans be to be a zero?!? But as we scanned the zero pile, the kindly salesperson suggested that those might not fit, either. Nope, she suggested double zero.

Who ever heard of double zero???? And just what the hell are they? Is this like a bra...a double-A cup is bigger than an A cup? Turns out...nothing like a bra. A double zero is smaller than a zero.

Roll that phrase around in your head for a minute. Smaller than a zero. How can that be? How can clothing come in sizes smaller than zero???

So off we went in search of double zero sized jeans. Insane. And as I flipped through racks of size 2 and 3, I couldn't help but wonder....are the teens who wear those sizes giants?!?! Suddenly a 2 seemed gargantuan compared to double zero. Clearly, all reason has been set aside. Numbers on girls' clothing are meaningless.

Fortunately, we did find double zero jeans. Plenty of them. And Daughter13 now has pants to wear.

Then we had to find shirts. To cut a long story short, I'll just say that the lack of logic was consistent. She does not wear double zero shirts. Not even close.

Who made up this system? And on what basis did they choose these numbers? When I need pants, I measure my waist. Thirty-six. So I go to the store and buy size 34 cause I know I'm gonna drop a few pounds soon...right? And then I go home. The numbers and the size actually relate to MY size. Not for girls. Not for women.

Next time I'm waiting in the food court.

Joys & Trials

2007-08-30T21:37:00.000-04:00

I was tagged earlier this week by my blogger friend Kati over at Dragonfly's Musings. Kati loves to share about her family - hubby and daughter - plus her thoughts and opinions on a wide variety of topics. I thoroughly enjoy her blog. And when she tagged me with this meme, I was happy to take a shot at it.

The Joys & Trials meme works like this...

You have to use your own belief system for the meme. No fair using someone else’s to make a joke or satire. Being humorous about your own religion is encouraged!
You have to have at least one joy and one trial. More are encouraged. And no, they don’t have to be equal in length, but please be honest.
You have to tag at least one other person. More are appreciated!
Please post these rules!

I liked thinking about this one because it really did give me a chance for some reflection about both the good and the not-so-good of my spirituality. And here is what I came up with...

Joys

I like that my spirituality connects me strongly with nature, the cycles of the earth, the changing of the seasons.
I like that I have the freedom to make my own decisions and choices about how I view and interact with the divine.
I like the sense of mystery and magic.
I like that some rituals can be traced back for hundreds of years, and yet, can still be individualized and personalized - making them most special for me while connecting me with the past.
I like that my family loves celebrating some of the holidays - particularly Samhain and Yule.

Trials

It is a bit lonely to follow a spiritual path when there are no others around who follow the same path.
Having grown up in a very rigid and rule-governed religion, there is sometimes a sense of a lack of direction as there is no leader or minister to guide my practice.
Having come to this pathway late in life, I often feel there is so much to learn and so little time.

And two of my trials are so similar to what Kati expressed...

Holidays can fall at the most inopportune times since they relate to seasons, phases of the moon, etc. It is not always easy to celebrate on a school night. LOL
The names chosen by some practicing members can be very off-putting.

And now I get the additional joy of tagging someone else. Sometimes it is hard to decide just who to tag for a meme. But this time it was easy. I'm tagging Wizened Wizard. I've read her blog for the past year and she has amazed me with stories of her life. She continues to lead a life so full of rich experiences and diversity. And I'm really curious to get a peek into how her spirituality - whatever that might be - has played a role in her life.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

2007-08-25T23:21:00.000-04:00

I present to you, the Class of 2011!!

That's right, Daughter13 is starting her freshman year in high school. Orientation was yesterday. Tryouts for the freshman girl's volleyball team was today. As my wife says, "our little baby is going to high school!"

I know when she got up on Friday she was pretty much the same person as when she went to bed on Thursday night. And yet, in her new shirt and jeans, heading off to high school, she suddenly looked taller. And older. More grown up.

How can that be my little girl?!?!

Damn, they do grow up fast. Sometimes, it seems like it happens overnight.

Re-entry

2007-08-20T10:21:00.000-04:00

Twenty days since I last posted. Ten days since I last came to work. Eight days since I even saw my house. Vacation is a marvelous thing!

I swam, boated, walked on the beach, collected shells, played "Go Fish", built campfires, cooked over the open campfire, read good books, slept late, watched a lot of movies, ate a lot of great food, and really enjoyed just hanging out with my family.

And now, back to work. For me, not a bad thing. I love my job and I enjoy the people around me. And for someone who has spent their entire life as either a student or a teacher in some fashion, the beginning of the school year is always an exciting time. A fresh start. New people to meet. New back-to-school clothes. New pencils and folders and notebooks. And the excitement of new projects and new tasks.

And for the first time for me, the return from vacation also brings me back to my blogger friends! I greatly appreciate those of you who sent an e-mail to check up on me during my absence. I can't wait to wander through my bloglines account and find out what has been going on with all you guys! Might take me a while to catch up with that much reading...but that will be fun, too!

Old Friends

2007-07-31T19:17:00.000-04:00

Just before starting 7th grade, my family moved to a new town. On the first day of middle school, not knowing anyone in the town, I sat down in homeroom, nervous and uncertain. Almost immediately the kid next to me started talking to me. He didn't introduce himself. He didn't ask questions about who I was or from where I came. He just started a conversation as if we had known each other forever.

He became my best friend, my security, my confidant. Our friendship grew over the years. We went to the same middle school and high school. We attended the same church. We spent a lot of our free time together. He helped me with art projects and I helped him with math. We both hated PE but joined the choir. We traded albums and books. And then high school ended.

No problem. We were roommates all through college. We both were successful debaters. We both loved drama classes. We both worked for the local radio station to earn extra cash. I don't think we ever dated the same girl, but we certainly gave each other feedback about our choices in women.

College ended. He got married and moved to another town in the south. I got married and moved to New England. Initially, we wrote letters (yeah, I'm old enough there was no e-mail!) a few times a month. Then it dwindled to less. We called each other on our birthdays and Christmas. And then not so often. And little by little, our contact became nothing more than a card at Christmas with maybe a note that said "hey, we had a baby" or "notice the new address...we moved". But other than that, the person I was best friends with for a dozen years became barely even a connection.

A few weeks ago I decided to make more meaningful contact with my old friend. I had his e-mail address from the card that came this past Christmas. So I sat down to write a pretty lengthy letter. But what do you include in just one letter? It can't be everything. And our last real exchange of information was more than twenty years ago. He has never seen any of my kids. Had no idea that we had a kid with special needs. Doesn't know about my hobbies or my job. Do I talk about fun stuff or serious stuff? Politics? Spirituality? Or just what TV shows I like?

I did a summary of lots of different things and sent the note on its way.

A couple of days later, I got a great response. He had many questions about my life and shared a lot about his life. And he sent a link to his Facebook page so I could see some photos.

And that was a weird sensation. Even though we have not talked in years, I knew him so well in the past that I still had this feeling that we know each other. So I experienced this odd sense of my world shifting as I looked at photos of a life I've never known. Pictures of his kids that I've never met...who are now adults...some even have kids of their own. There was my middle school buddy holding his grandchild! Photos around the Christmas tree on Christmases I know nothing about in homes I've never visited. Pictures of his parents who I knew so well growing up - now old. It was almost startling to see his life spread out before me and realizing the person I once knew better than anyone else - now I barely know at all.

I wrote my friend about my feelings. The fun of seeing his photos and the weirdness and sadness of realizing I had missed so much of his life. He had similar feelings when viewing the photos I sent him. And we've swapped e-mail several times since then.

I'm not naive. I don't expect us to ever be friends in the way we were as kids. Family and work and paying bills and a million other things make it difficult to stay in touch with someone so far away. But I think we can do better than just being Christmas card buddies. Even at a distance, if we are committed to it, old friends can slowly grow older together.

Can you imagine us
Years from today,
Sharing a park bench quietly?
How terribly strange
To be seventy.
Old friends,
Memory brushes the same years
Silently sharing the same fears

Thanks to Simon & Garfunkel for the lyrics.

I'm a hobnobber!!

2007-07-28T08:20:00.000-04:00

My blogger friend CS over at another tangential thinker writes on her blog almost every day. And I read her blog every time she adds to it. Why? Because she shares such wonderful stories of her life and she takes awesome photos that bring her words to life. CS says her credo is "life is weird and unpredictable, but often in a good way." Well, CS isn't weird. But what she might choose to write about or photograph is often unpredictable. And always in a good way!

Why else do I read her? Cause she is a hobnobber, too! That's right, she won the Power Of Schmooze award. And then she turned right around and gave that award to me!

Much like CS, I always thought of schmoozing with a somewhat negative point of view. It seemed like someone being insincere and manipulative. And while some of the definitions of "schmooze" do include the fact that it can be done to flatter or manipulate, that certainly is not all it is meant to be. For example, CS quotes the definition that says "to converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.” And when I checked it out, I also found "to talk intimately and cozily" and "a long and intimate conversation".

I think that sums up blogging for me. My blog, and the many wonderful blogs I read, comprise a long and intimate conversation. Sure, the conversation gets broken up into pieces, shared bit by bit, growing and changing as life unfolds around us. But when I add up all the different things I've read about some of you, I've certainly gained a lot of insight into your lives. And I think I've shared enough that some of you can look right in my window and know whats going on in my house.

In CS' definition it mentions to talk casually "to make a social connection." I do feel connected to many of you. I read about you every day. I know more about some of you than about people I see every day in my life. And I love that about blogging.

So I accept this blogger schmooze award with pride...and thank you, CS!

And I get the honor of passing it along to some folks who use their blogs in the best hobnob fashion by encouraging us to make social connections among the blogosphere and by sharing bits and pieces of their lives with us. So...I present to you...three schmoozers!

Jenster - who says her writing is just the mundane ramblings of a busy homemaker, but who, in reality, shares wonderful stories about her life.

Nancy - who seems like she is thoughtful and soft spoken and who tells us about her day and about her observations and reflections on the world around us.

Charlotta - who admits she has a lotta thoughts and she enjoys sharing them. She has even tried to answer that question that always vexes us males....why do women always go to the bathroom in groups. It just never seemed like something that would require audience participation.

Now in my best schmoozing style, lean over close so I can give you an air kiss on both cheeks, tell you that "you look lovely, dahling", and send you off to have a good weekend!

Feel the vibe!

2007-07-23T11:36:00.000-04:00

Some of you (okay, maybe only one or two) have noticed that I’ve become the not-so-good blogger lately. I post less often. I try to read your blogs pretty often, but I’m not very diligent about commenting. So what happened? Did I lose my blog lust? Did I run out of things to say? Did the kids put super glue on the keyboard?

Nay, nay, none of those things happened. Summer happened! And thus, camping and swimming and boating happened. And all of that leads me to the first part of this posting.

Big Brother from Life in the Twilight Zone (actually from Quebec) tagged me with the Good Vibrations meme. So here, in no special order, are five things that get my good vibes going, that make my chakras zing, that put a smile on my face, and make the day worthwhile.

1. Nature. I love doing things outdoors. I’m not a terribly athletic person. Okay, to be honest, I’m not at all athletic! So I’m not out there jogging 20 miles or rock climbing or anything so strenuous. But I do love to be out in the sun, to swim, to go boating. I love to walk at night and look at the moon and the stars. I love a full moon meditation or just sitting in the shade and reading a good book. In fact, if you read my last post, you got a glimpse of my summer. And this is all the fun stuff that has kept me from a lot of blogging lately.

2. My wife. Twenty-two years and I still think she is the best! No matter what we are doing we manage to have a great time doing it together. We talk and laugh a lot. We enjoy spending time together. She is my best friend. And I’m looking forward to at least twenty-two more years of waking up with her every day.

3. My kids. I’ve got three terrific kids. Oh I know, there was the time I tried to sell one of them on ebay. And there was that other time that I put the whole bunch of them out by the curb with the FREE sign. But all parents have those moments, right? But most days I just wouldn’t trade them for anything. Each in their own way they are funny and smart and compassionate and generous and fun to be around. I think I’ll keep ‘em. For now.

4. Books. I love books. Our house is filled with books. We have so many books we ran out of books shelves a long time ago so there are stacks on tables and on the floor. We trade used books. We listen to audio books. I love a good story and love to read. And almost any day that doesn’t seem to be going well can be turned around with a few minutes spent with a great book.

5. My job. I know, not what most people might list as one of their top five. But I love my job. It challenges me. It allows me to learn and to share what I’ve learned with others. I get to work with a lot of great folks. And I get to do a lot of fun, creative things. I enjoy a day off as much as the next person, but I never really mind when it is time to go back to work.

So there are five things that get me into a good vibe. And now I get to pass this along. I think many of you have already done this meme, so I'm only gonna tag a couple of folks. And if they did it and I missed it, I apologize. Feel free to torment me from afar. But for now, let's reach out and tag:

Rebecca at Circle of the Muses because I love her writing
Barb at My Crazy Life because she is also a great writer...and maybe we'll get an update on her desire for a tattoo

Okay folks, start vibrating!